irc333 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I know of a lot of vegetarian women that have no problem dating an non-vegetarian. I had recently seen a dating profile of a woman that mentions she's a vegetarian (no big deal) but seeks a man that's also a vegatarian. A man that's a vegetarian? Why would this be so important to someone? What are the chances of a female vegetarian (which I can see there's probably plenty of those), of finding a male vegetarian? Figured men love their meat. lol
Kinder-Horror Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 My best guess is that it is a lifestyle choice and if they are looking for a serious relationship, they want someone who shares some of the same lifestyle choices they do. I may date someone who smokes if I happen upon them, but I suppose if I was creating a profile of the ideal types of guys I'd like to date, non-smoker would be the selection. I suppose I kind of look at it like that. Not that I compare eating meat to smoking
Stung Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 People become vegetarians for different reasons, and some vegetarians feel like omnivores don't share the same value system they do. She wants someone who feels the same way she does about this area of her value system. On a simpler level, maybe she's big in the kitchen and likes to be the one who cooks for her relationships, and doesn't want her guy always whining about vegetarian dinners. It's not really a big deal. I have dated vegetarians before and it can be a pain in the butt always having to choose restaurants or plan shopping and cooking menus based on incompatible ideals/tastes. Anyway, I know several vegetarian men. Depending on where she lives, she has a decent chance of finding one in her area.
Author irc333 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I think in general, in the dating world, people are putting more and more constraints in their dating criteria though. As if they were just painting themselves into a corner.
Stung Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I don't know. It's best not to put on blinders that limit your field of vision, so you no longer see the variety of opportunities and possibilities out there, that's true. But it's also important to know what's important to you and not settle on core issues, IMO. Food isn't exactly a core issue to me but I can see how it's very political and personal to others. I wouldn't have made it a dealbreaker, but I do ideally prefer an omnivore who makes fairly healthy food choices, can cook, and likes to explore different tastes/cuisines, and that's actually exactly what I ended up with. Where I went to college it seemed like there were more vegetarians than not, both male and female. I learned to make some good vegetarian meals, but it got a bit boring, and I hated being limited to vegetarian and vegan restaurants. Some of them were very, VERY political about it, too, and a lot of them refused to date meat-eaters. Those guys tended to be a little annoying and I figured it was a good thing that they were only interested in each other, anyway.
zengirl Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I know of a lot of vegetarian women that have no problem dating an non-vegetarian. I had recently seen a dating profile of a woman that mentions she's a vegetarian (no big deal) but seeks a man that's also a vegatarian. A man that's a vegetarian? Why would this be so important to someone? What are the chances of a female vegetarian (which I can see there's probably plenty of those), of finding a male vegetarian? Figured men love their meat. lol I know many vegetarians who feel this way, because to them it's a core value --- they don't want meat in the house, they don't want it cooked in the house, and they don't want their kids (when they have them) to eat meat. In these cases, like someone who is very serious about religion or any other value system, it's important to find someone who shares these views. Makes sense to me. Plenty of men are moral vegetarians, which is what she likely is if it's important to her that her partner be a vegetarian. That has nothing to do with "liking" meat.
denise_xo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Agree with Stung and zengirl. I'm a quite pragmatic vegetarian and have no problems with living with a meat eater. But I've known vegetarians and vegans who would prefer to not eat food that has been cooked in a pot that has once been used to cook meat. That makes co-habitation with a meat eater quite challenging.
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I once dated a vegetarian; cooking for him was a pain in the ass. I ended up either eating vegetarian (which I'd rather not) or making two meals (which was time consuming). He also wanted his future kids to be vegetarian, and I disagreed; not only do I think it's unhealthy, I also think that kids should make their own choice when they're old enough. He also had this really illogical approach whereby he wouldn't eat meat, but he'd consume other by-products of the meat industry like milk and cheese, and he wore leather shoes etc. What did he think happened to all the cows who produced his milk and leather, and the calves who were supposed to drink the milk?!
Author irc333 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 He also had this really illogical approach whereby he wouldn't eat meat, but he'd consume other by-products of the meat industry like milk and cheese, and he wore leather shoes etc. What did he think happened to all the cows who produced his milk and leather, and the calves who were supposed to drink the milk?! Yeah, if it gets to that point, they will just annoy anyone who they date. lol And make their lives miserable. I know some people, this one woman who is big on health and yoga, sheh's a vegetarian, but only for health reasons. When they start getting into "they cook in a pot that meat USED to be cooked in", well....that's way too extreme.
EasyHeart Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think in general, in the dating world, people are putting more and more constraints in their dating criteria though. As if they were just painting themselves into a corner.I think THIS statement is absolutely true. I suspect it's a symptom of the "menu-style" dating caused by online dating. As to your original post, I think it doesn't really matter why she only wants to date vegetarians -- it's her choice and for whatever reason it's important to her. Some people will only date within their own race or their own religion or their own political party and we don't question those things. Only dating other vegetarians seems to fall into that same category. I have celiac disease and have to be extremely careful about what I eat and how my food is prepared. I'm used to it, but it can seem really odd to people who aren't, and it is definitely a stressor on relationships. Some women are fine with that and some aren't, so I always need to find that out pretty quickly. Ideally, it would be much easier for me to date someone else with the same dietary constraints (and I could understand someone limiting their dating pool in that way), but for me that pool of women is way too small.
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I have celiac disease and have to be extremely careful about what I eat and how my food is prepared. I'm used to it, but it can seem really odd to people who aren't, and it is definitely a stressor on relationships. Celiac is different from vegetarianism though; vegetarianism is a choice, while celiac imposes a medical requirement for you to avoid certain foods. Plus you have a valid medical reason for restricting your diet, not some vague moral reason. I don't really see why it should be a stressor on relationships though; a non-celiac probably wouldn't even notice if certain meal ingredients were changed to gluten free alternatives. So you make slightly different choices when buying groceries or choosing a restaurant, but it isn't a big deal, unlike the whole veggie/carnivore issue. A partner would happily cook gluten free for you, but I can't see a veggie frying a steak for their partner!
EasyHeart Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Celiac is different from vegetarianism though; vegetarianism is a choice, while celiac imposes a medical requirement for you to avoid certain foods. Plus you have a valid medical reason for restricting your diet, not some vague moral reason. I don't really see why it should be a stressor on relationships though; a non-celiac probably wouldn't even notice if certain meal ingredients were changed to gluten free alternatives. So you make slightly different choices when buying groceries or choosing a restaurant, but it isn't a big deal, unlike the whole veggie/carnivore issue. A partner would happily cook gluten free for you, but I can't see a veggie frying a steak for their partner!Yes, absolutely having celiac is different from being a vegetarian. But my main point is that this vegetarian woman gets to decide what is important to her. I can understand why a vegetarian would want to date another vegetarian. We may not agree with her choice, but it's her choice to make. As to celiac being a stressor, it goes way beyond just eating gluten free. It's the constant need for vigilance, the danger and lack of choice when eating out, the danger of cross-contamination and all the hidden gluten out there. It kinda kills the romance when I have to ask a woman what brand of lipstick she wears before I go in for that first kiss!
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 But my main point is that this vegetarian woman gets to decide what is important to her. I can understand why a vegetarian would want to date another vegetarian. We may not agree with her choice, but it's her choice to make. Yes, of course we all get to choose who we date. Veggies may only want to date other veggies, while others may only be attracted to a certain hair colour, and others may choose to avoid dating anyone with kids, or without a college education, etc. Dating is necessarily a process of discriminating between people to find someone with the attributes we want. I personally choose not to date veggies; I tried it before and the hassle at mealtimes was just too much. As to celiac being a stressor, it goes way beyond just eating gluten free. It's the constant need for vigilance, the danger and lack of choice when eating out, the danger of cross-contamination and all the hidden gluten out there. Meh, I never found it to be that big of a deal. I usually eat at home and take a bag lunch to work, so I only need to be vigilant on my weekly grocery shop. Most decent restaurants can produce something which is safe to eat, and I know which ones in my area can accommodate me. I tend not to eat processed junk food anyway, and no vigilance is required to know that a carrot or other fresh food is safe to eat. Nobody I dated has ever had a problem with my food allergies
Duckduckgoose Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I am a woman and am not vegetarian, but I prefer to avoid certain foods, namely greasy fried and really fatty nasty foods. Pork is not really on the menu either. I don't mind if a man I dated was a vegetarian, and I would maybe once a week eat vegetarian food to be supportive of him. As long as he didn't force me to eat his foods I wouldn't force him to eat mine. One thing I do have a real issue about is buying organic and cage free, free range, grass fed products. I want to make sure the animal that gives us its life for our life is treated well. I also like to buy local grown foods when possible (very possible here).
catgotyourtongue Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 True. Also steak and blowjob day wouldn't work. Just kidding. LMAO that was worth the read and snark.
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 ....not only do I think it's unhealthy, I also think that kids should make their own choice when they're old enough. No it's not unhealthy. Quite the opposite, it can be a whole lot healthier than a diet containing meat. We're omnivores, not carnivores or herbivores. therefore, one shift in either direction isn't detrimental. A vegetarian would ask, what's wrong with bringing up children with a completely vegetarian diet then letting them make their minds up whether they want to include meat later? Isn't it the same thing, but from a different direction? I take your point, but in some ways it's illogical... He also had this really illogical approach whereby he wouldn't eat meat, but he'd consume other by-products of the meat industry like milk and cheese, and he wore leather shoes etc. What did he think happened to all the cows who produced his milk and leather, and the calves who were supposed to drink the milk?! They're either still alive, or already dead. You can't retrieve an animal once it's leather. When you buy new shoes, it's probable the animal died over a year ago. Maybe more. It's a bi-product. Killing animals simply because we think we can, in order to eat them, is arrogant and selfish, to some.
catgotyourtongue Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think THIS statement is absolutely true. I suspect it's a symptom of the "menu-style" dating caused by online dating. As to your original post, I think it doesn't really matter why she only wants to date vegetarians -- it's her choice and for whatever reason it's important to her. Some people will only date within their own race or their own religion or their own political party and we don't question those things. Only dating other vegetarians seems to fall into that same category. I have celiac disease and have to be extremely careful about what I eat and how my food is prepared. I'm used to it, but it can seem really odd to people who aren't, and it is definitely a stressor on relationships. Some women are fine with that and some aren't, so I always need to find that out pretty quickly. Ideally, it would be much easier for me to date someone else with the same dietary constraints (and I could understand someone limiting their dating pool in that way), but for me that pool of women is way too small. I agree with Easy Heart, and I am CELIAC too, and a vegetarian. Which means I am a royal pain in the a** to date, lol. But I make sure that eating out, cooking, dining is as painless as possible for others in my world. It's up to ME to make it less hard and awkward for them, not up to them to make it better for me all the time. My personal way of being/doing/thinking. I am self sufficient w/food and not against others eating meat. It's my choice, I don't push it on others. Love the smell of a hamburger on a grill and watching people enjoy what they love. Just saying, this is how I am. It is easier if veggie heads date veggie heads, but I am a laid back vegetarian...I don't hate on anyone - even steak lovers
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 A vegetarian would ask, what's wrong with bringing up children with a completely vegetarian diet then letting them make their minds up whether they want to include meat later? Pediatricians have argued that children need nutrition which cannot be provided by a plant-based diet. A couple of years ago, a vegan couple were sentenced to life imprisonment because they killed their baby by feeding it a vegan diet, and the same thing has happened to several other babies. I think I'd prefer to listen to the medical professionals and feed my child a balanced diet. You can't retrieve an animal once it's leather. I fail to see the point. You can't retrieve an animal once it's hamburgers either. When you buy new shoes, it's probable the animal died over a year ago. If you buy frozen or dried meat, the animal could still have died months ago. I still fail to see the point. It's a bi-product. So it's not ok to eat meat, but it's ok to use the by-products of other people's meat consumption, thereby funding and enabling the meat industry? Someone still has to kill and eat an animal for leather shoes to be made. It seems illogical to me when people won't eat meat but will happily eat or use the by-products of meat production, including leather, milk, cheese, etc.
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Pediatricians have argued that children need nutrition which cannot be provided by a plant-based diet. A couple of years ago, a vegan couple were sentenced to life imprisonment because they killed their baby by feeding it a vegan diet, and the same thing has happened to several other babies. I think I'd prefer to listen to the medical professionals and feed my child a balanced diet. Paediatricians can argue whatever they want, but I know several vegetarians who have brought up their children in the same vein, and they're all perfectly fine, fit and healthy kids. It's not unheard of, and it's not necessarily true that their diets are deficient. Veganism is a whole different dish altogether, though. I can see why that would be so detrimental to a child's health. I fail to see the point. You can't retrieve an animal once it's hamburgers either. It's burgers a lot sooner than it's shoe leather. If you buy frozen or dried meat, the animal could still have died months ago. I still fail to see the point. vegetarians don't always see this as a legitimate point, and often fail to consider it. For the record, I don't understand his logic either, and I was just putting forward a reason.... So it's not ok to eat meat, but it's ok to use the by-products of other people's meat consumption, thereby funding and enabling the meat industry? Someone still has to kill and eat an animal for leather shoes to be made. It seems illogical to me when people won't eat meat but will happily eat or use the by-products of meat production, including leather, milk, cheese, etc. I don't think I made myself suitably clear: that's my bad, and I do apologise for that.... I'm not justifying anything he would or wouldn't think. I'm merely explaining that this is probably the way a vegetarian would answer. As a Buddhist, people assume I don't eat meat, and in fact seem surprised when I say I do. I've come across so many different aspects of this argument, constantly, on different Buddhist forums, that I can see and hear it from every angle.
Eeyore79 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I can understand and respect veganism; vegans choose to avoid all animal products, and while I don't agree that it's the best approach to nutrition, at least it's mostly logical. However I cannot understand vegetarianism, since it seems illogical to avoid meat while financing the meat industry by consuming meat by-products. This affects my feelings about dating veggies; I always feel like they must not be deep thinkers if they can't see the flaws in their own justification for drinking milk but not eating meat. I also tend to have the same feeling about religious people, or people who believe in astrology, or anyone else who adheres to beliefs which don't make logical sense. I'm too logically minded to date anyone who isn't
zengirl Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) I can understand and respect veganism; vegans choose to avoid all animal products, and while I don't agree that it's the best approach to nutrition, at least it's mostly logical. However I cannot understand vegetarianism, since it seems illogical to avoid meat while financing the meat industry by consuming meat by-products. This affects my feelings about dating veggies; I always feel like they must not be deep thinkers if they can't see the flaws in their own justification for drinking milk but not eating meat. I also tend to have the same feeling about religious people, or people who believe in astrology, or anyone else who adheres to beliefs which don't make logical sense. I'm too logically minded to date anyone who isn't Well, first: the dairy industry isn't exactly the meat industry. Milking a cow, or shearing a sheep, or whatnot, doesn't hurt the animal. How the animals are kept varies farm-to-farm, but there is a distinction to be made. Eggs, I get less, but I suppose they are unfertilized and not technically chicks. Wearing leather but not eating meat. . . that I wouldn't really get, if it were a moral issue, since a cow has to be slaughtered to get leather, though I know many pescatarians (only eat fish/seafood) who don't eat meat for health reasons. I think they have a point as well. Most of the meat in America (excepting seafood) is unhealthy because of the way it's raised. Pescatarians aren't veggies, though. I disagree with you that a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle is unhealthy. It's hard for vegans to get some of the things they need, because of the lack of dairy more than meat, but there are ways around it. Being a healthy vegetarian is easier than being a healthy meat-eater in America, as finding truly organic fruits/veggies is easy enough but truly well-raised, organic meats are harder because the standards are too lax. In some countries, this is less of an issue, because they don't have the hormones/crop manipulation/farming processes that we have here. (Hormones in milk are an issue, too, but finding quality dairy is more straightforward as well.) Most veggies I know take care to eat healthy; not true of the vast majority of meat-eaters, but that's more because there are so many of them in America and the average American diet is vastly unhealthy, as most foods in supermarkets are horrible for you. At any rate, the healthiest proteins are not meat-based anyway. I eat meat, and I eat plenty of unhealthy things, but I think your view of vegetarianism is a bit reductive. Making it about heath seems silly to me since most American food is lacking in that area. Nor would I say "I don't want to eat a living animal" doesn't make logical sense. I don't find it a moral imperative, personally, but it makes sense and can be consistent with still eating dairy and such, which would not require the slaughter of a living, already-formed animal. Anyway, most vegetarians I know have cognitive processes above average, because they tend to be people who've formed their own values and think for themselves (it's an alternative lifestyle). Of course, there are stupid vegetarians too, just like there are stupid everythings, but I don't think they're less likely to be "deep thinkers." The average American who just eats whatever is at the supermarket is less likely to be a deep thinker, in my view. Most veggies struggle with their viewpoints and form them throughout their lives, because it is a complex issue -- eating or not eating meat, what companies to support, how to live, etc. Edited February 10, 2011 by zengirl
Emilia Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Africans laugh at Westerners for being vegetarians (I know, I lived there for a year and a half) because they would literally kill for a bit of protein sometimes. I have also seen the side effects of kids growing up without enough protein so people can say whatever they want, being a vegan definitely damages the gene pool. Have you noticed how pasty looking veggies are? None of the seem robust with health I'm very active and it's hard for me to see how I would be able to consume enough greens/protein replacement to get the nutrition I get from meat after circuit training/climbing/surfing. Sometimes I think we Westerners have so little to do in our lives and we are so removed from nature that we think up these silly precious fads and ideas the rest of the world laughs at. It's probably no accident that veggies tend to be city dwellers, not farmers
green_tea Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Sometimes I think we Westerners have so little to do in our lives and we are so removed from nature that we think up these silly precious fads and ideas the rest of the world laughs at. It's probably no accident that veggies tend to be city dwellers, not farmers Vegetarianism is not a Western idea. A very large proportion of India's 1 billion people are vegetarian. And how insulting to call vegetarians to be following a silly fad. I'm vegetarian because I don't believe in cruelty towards animals, I'm not following a fad or trend.
Titania22 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Sometimes I think we Westerners have so little to do in our lives and we are so removed from nature that we think up these silly precious fads and ideas the rest of the world laughs at. It's probably no accident that veggies tend to be city dwellers, not farmers I find this to be quite rude. It's one thing to communicate a point of view, it's quite another to be condescending of other peoples points of view.
Eeyore79 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Well, first: the dairy industry isn't exactly the meat industry. Milking a cow, or shearing a sheep, or whatnot, doesn't hurt the animal. Cows produce milk because they had a calf - the milk is supposed to be for the calf to drink. The farmer takes the cow's baby away so that people can have the milk. Guess what happens to the calf? The females may be kept for future milking, but the majority of males will be killed, and will probably end up as veal. The milk you drink was intended for a little baby calf which is probably locked up in a veal crate somewhere, crying for its mommy's milk which you're putting in your coffee. Plus the cow has to be repeatedly made pregnant or her milk will dry up. What do you think happens to the cow when it's been pregnant, had its baby taken away, and been milked? After a few years of this cycle the cow is worn out, stops producing milk and is slaughtered. And milk/dairy isn't cruel?
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