mortensorchid Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Here is a general question for all, as I have had problems with this in the past. I have been seeing a therapist for several years, and yes, I have been taking prescriptions from the Prozac school. It's good for me in many ways. I have had many troubles in the past - not just with depression, but with other things in life (work, for example). I am sure I am not alone in this, there are millions of people out there, perhaps some on this forum, that have/are taking these prescriptions and have/are seeing therapists. It is nothing to be ashamed of. However, this has been an issue in the past. Eventually, someone will go into one's bathroom and see the prescription bottles on the sink, or even open the medicine cabinet and find something. It happens. If you are said person who has/is taking these prescriptions, you will ultimately share this information (whether you want to or not) with your bf/gf. Now, I have been called many things in the past, including mentally ill, by people. Point out to those calling you mentally ill that they drink or use drugs or do this or this a little more than the average, and they get all defensive. This is not the case, I am not mentally ill. I have never been hospitalized, been in trouble with the law, or have had a breakdown. But, I have learned that we are still living in ignorance under this. I have found out that one should keep these things to themselves. Over time, you would think that it would be discovered. I would think that one would approach this like one would if they were an alcoholic, simply say at some point "I used to drink quite a bit, then I went to AA. Now I feel better and I don't drink." You cannot expect that EVERYONE would be ok with this. However, sometimes we have to tell others things we would rather not. How long would you have to be with someone before you consider letting this be known? And, would you say this the same way as I pointed out the alcoholic revelation above?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I suggest you place your medications in your drawers. Either that, or whom ever you bring home are incredibly nosy. I used to be on prozac myself, but I never really disclose my medical conditon to anyone unless they were close friends and families, or boyfriends. Technically, it's not anyone's business but your own.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I would have no problem with someone knowing. If they react ignorantly, I would want to know this too. If someone confronted me about it I'd tell her that she should take it as a sign of me not being in denial about my shortfalls and accepting full responsibilities for my part in being the best person I can. If she expects a perfect man with no faults, then there's the door. Look elsewhere. I started on Prozac not because I had a mental illness but because I had unknowingly allowed myself to be the victim of someone else's mental illness--a woman who I tried to love and marry who made it impossible to do either. Sometimes just being exposed to people with "complexes" can throw you curves that no one prepares you for. I continue to take the medication because I find it helps me see things more clearly and choose my feelings rather than trying to figure out my feelings after they have flooded my gut.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 prozac saved my life- and it took me years to take it because i was shown it was a weakness... why couldn't i just get over it. so i have seen both sides. IMO- it is not something that just comes up. even having done AA can surface faster. i think it is up to you to know when/ if you want to tell someone. depression and taking meds does NOT define who you are- it helps you be.
Hibou Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I take Prozac as well. I am on it for a similar reason as FF - I hit a rough patch, and I was having so many panic attacks and crying jags that I couldn't accomplish anything. It's not a "forever" drug for everyone, and even if it is, who cares? It's invaluable to me. I'm always a little worried about that as well, but a guy who would label me because of some bottles in my kitchen is honestly a little juvenile, anyway. I would wait until it the topic comes up, and treat it like it ain't no thang. If you say "Hey, btw, I take Prozac" out of nowhere, it will seem like a warning. If you wait, you can also be able to say "I forgot my dose on x days - did you notice?" if it's applicable. If I miss a dose, I might be a little sensitive the next day, but it's not like I'm setting my bed on fire or something.
hydorclops Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Now, I have been called many things in the past, including mentally ill, by people. Point out to those calling you mentally ill that they drink or use drugs or do this or this a little more than the average, and they get all defensive. This is not the case, I am not mentally ill. I have never been hospitalized, been in trouble with the law, or have had a breakdown.I take antidepressants, I see a therapist, I've been hospitalized, I've had a "breakdown". I'm officially disabled by depression and anxiety.I am mentally ill. Am I below the line then?
denise_xo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Here is a general question for all, as I have had problems with this in the past. I have been seeing a therapist for several years, and yes, I have been taking prescriptions from the Prozac school. It's good for me in many ways. I have had many troubles in the past - not just with depression, but with other things in life (work, for example). I am sure I am not alone in this, there are millions of people out there, perhaps some on this forum, that have/are taking these prescriptions and have/are seeing therapists. It is nothing to be ashamed of. However, this has been an issue in the past. Eventually, someone will go into one's bathroom and see the prescription bottles on the sink, or even open the medicine cabinet and find something. It happens. If you are said person who has/is taking these prescriptions, you will ultimately share this information (whether you want to or not) with your bf/gf. Now, I have been called many things in the past, including mentally ill, by people. Point out to those calling you mentally ill that they drink or use drugs or do this or this a little more than the average, and they get all defensive. This is not the case, I am not mentally ill. I have never been hospitalized, been in trouble with the law, or have had a breakdown. But, I have learned that we are still living in ignorance under this. I have found out that one should keep these things to themselves. Over time, you would think that it would be discovered. I would think that one would approach this like one would if they were an alcoholic, simply say at some point "I used to drink quite a bit, then I went to AA. Now I feel better and I don't drink." You cannot expect that EVERYONE would be ok with this. However, sometimes we have to tell others things we would rather not. How long would you have to be with someone before you consider letting this be known? And, would you say this the same way as I pointed out the alcoholic revelation above? I was on Prozac for two years and I'm quite open about that, as well as about my previous alcohol problems, with people who are somewhat close to me. I don't feel bad about telling people this and I also don't have a 'strategy' for disclosing it. When I share that information, it's usually in a relevant context where the issue is already being discussed in one shape or form, and I just say it plain like 'I was on Prozac for two years and...' and then I say a little bit about my experience with it. I think going on medication at that point in my life was one of the best decisions I've ever made, so I'm definitely not embarrassed by it. Yes, sometimes you meet people with 'attitudes'. But I don't let them define me or the way I live my life.
denise_xo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I take antidepressants, I see a therapist, I've been hospitalized, I've had a "breakdown". I'm officially disabled by depression and anxiety.I am mentally ill. Am I below the line then? OP, I think this post illustrates quite nicely that you are caught in the same logic of thinking as the people you feel are judging you. Free yourself of that faulty logic and you will feel liberated.
EasyHeart Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think people who are looking for serious relationships should be upfront about any potential dealbreakers. If I were dating someone who is taking Prozac, i would expect her to tell me within our first three dates.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think people who are looking for serious relationships should be upfront about any potential dealbreakers. If I were dating someone who is taking Prozac, i would expect her to tell me within our first three dates. I don't agree. I also take antidepressants as well as being a "recovering" addict. When I was dating, I usually did say something about the latter very early on. I don't drink, so on a date I would just say that I had done enough of that earlier in my life. If the man seemed to want more info, I would tell him at that time that I'd had a problem with substance abuse and give him an idea of the timeline in case he had concerns. No more than that, though, until I knew he was a person I could trust. When my SO and I were starting our relationship, I had some anxiety about whether he would accept my past, and my current use of antidepressants. I did wait until I knew he was a trustworthy person, but I also knew that these things could be a valid deal breaker for him and I'd have to accept it if they were. I was not trying to get him all enmeshed first. I was careful to tell him before our relationship went to a more intimate level because I cared to be fair to both of us. These things are NOT the kind of stuff you share with people who are not important in your life. I'm not ashamed (nor proud), it's not a "secret," but it's very personal. Of course, I also would not have sex within the first 3 dates, either. OP. With statements like I am not mentally ill. I have never been hospitalized, been in trouble with the law, or have had a breakdown. But, I have learned that we are still living in ignorance under this. I have found out that one should keep these things to themselves. you really are contributing to the problem. After all is said and done, if a man finds it unacceptable to be involved with a woman who takes antidepressants, then he won't be a good partner for you. We need to be with people who accept all parts of us, though they might not be crazy about them all.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I don't agree. I also take antidepressants as well as being a "recovering" addict. When I was dating, I usually did say something about the latter very early on. I don't drink, so on a date I would just say that I had done enough of that earlier in my life. If the man seemed to want more info, I would tell him at that time that I'd had a problem with substance abuse and give him an idea of the timeline in case he had concerns. No more than that, though, until I knew he was a person I could trust. When my SO and I were starting our relationship, I had some anxiety about whether he would accept my past, and my current use of antidepressants. I did wait until I knew he was a trustworthy person, but I also knew that these things could be a valid deal breaker for him and I'd have to accept it if they were. I was not trying to get him all enmeshed first. I was careful to tell him before our relationship went to a more intimate level because I cared to be fair to both of us. These things are NOT the kind of stuff you share with people who are not important in your life. I'm not ashamed (nor proud), it's not a "secret," but it's very personal. Of course, I also would not have sex within the first 3 dates, either. . Agreed. There's a reason medical records and conditions are confidential, not merely between doctors and us but also us and others. There are still alot of stigma against people with disabilities and mental illness.
Author mortensorchid Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 I have learned over time, plus by reading some of the responses that others have posted, that the best thing to do is to not tell anyone. People say that they are understanding, but you can't trust them. It's also none of other people's business in general. I think we have been overrun with talk shows and the like that have encouraged us to let it all hang out. We should not with people, because you never know who will or won't judge us for what we have or haven't done in the past. I've learned this the hard way.
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