Hopeful30 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 If a guy never compliments you, rarely gives you affection (you're always the one doing it) and never asks about your life (your goals, ambitions, your job etc) does it mean he genuinely doesn't give a sh*t? I know everyone shows their care and love in different ways, but how can a man NOT be affectionate at ALL? How can he NEVER tell you you're beautiful if he thinks so? How can a man NOT ask about your life is he is genuinely interested? Then when a woman brings it up and says she feels like he doesn't care, they get angry and upset and tell us we complain too much and expect too much. I just dont get it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 If a guy never compliments you, rarely gives you affection (you're always the one doing it) and never asks about your life (your goals, ambitions, your job etc) does it mean he genuinely doesn't give a sh*t? I know everyone shows their care and love in different ways, but how can a man NOT be affectionate at ALL? How can he NEVER tell you you're beautiful if he thinks so? How can a man NOT ask about your life is he is genuinely interested? Then when a woman brings it up and says she feels like he doesn't care, they get angry and upset and tell us we complain too much and expect too much. I just dont get it. What kind of personality does he have? It could be he is extremely passive aggressive when it comes to compliments hence he hardly does it.
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 What kind of personality does he have? It could be he is extremely passive aggressive when it comes to compliments hence he hardly does it. He's quiet, but he's not shy. I wouldn't say he is passive, but he keeps too much to himself. For example, I would never know he fell at work and went to the hospital for 2 hours unless I called him during these two hours. If I called him after when he is at home, he would just say "hey yeah im at home hanging out". He is also extremely faithful and loyal. Lives his life around his partner. For him his partner is #1, which is why it strikes me as surprising that he doesn't do any of these things if it matters so much to him. So it makes me think,
dispatch3d Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 He's just good at dealing with negative occurances in his life. Because of that you don't have to handle/deal with them (cause he has **** "under control"). He probably just deals with things internally rather than externally. He could keep his anger tightly held within maybeeee??? Lol but it doesn't sound like he's an angry guy at all. So if I had to guess, he is probably just good at dealing with issues. I'm starting to get to this point. One of my roomates is for sure like that - he in particular is just really high on emotional intelligence.
utterer of lies Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 If a guy never compliments you, rarely gives you affection (you're always the one doing it) and never asks about your life (your goals, ambitions, your job etc) does it mean he genuinely doesn't give a sh*t? I know everyone shows their care and love in different ways, but how can a man NOT be affectionate at ALL? How can he NEVER tell you you're beautiful if he thinks so? How can a man NOT ask about your life is he is genuinely interested? Then when a woman brings it up and says she feels like he doesn't care, they get angry and upset and tell us we complain too much and expect too much. Oh I know this, my gf often complains that I never ask her about her day or her friends and then wants to tell me endlessly about random stuff that happened to her, or asks a lot of questions about my friends, or work, or whatever. I don't really want to talk and explain stuff to her, and I don't really care if her friend did whatever. Doesn't mean I don't like her or that something is wrong...
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Doesn't mean I don't like her or that something is wrong... You might like her but then that means you don't care. There's a difference.
utterer of lies Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 You might like her but then that means you don't care. There's a difference. I do care about her a lot, but I don't care about random stuff she might want to tell me. That's the difference. You don't want to accept this because you seem to have convinced yourself that your bf is wrong or uncaring just because he shows similar behavior. oh and btw: I do tell my gf that I think she's beautiful, but only when I notice it, not because I 'have to' or so as you seem to think your bf should...
Ay Diesel T Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I'm a firm believer in equating the amount of care in a man through his actions, not his words. Some men don't talk alot, even amongst other men. It's just how some of us come. Take it or leave it. If this is the same man that you cheated on, I'd say he cares alot since he's still with you.
Rxwoman Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think it depends. I'm a woman, and even I have girlfriends who go into WAY too much detail about they're lives. Seriously I dont need to know every single detail of your day today, including what you ate for breakfast. How is he around other people? Does he act interested around family or friends? Does he ask them anything? Have you even met any of them? How long have you been dating?
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I think it depends. I'm a woman, and even I have girlfriends who go into WAY too much detail about they're lives. Seriously I dont need to know every single detail of your day today, including what you ate for breakfast. How is he around other people? Does he act interested around family or friends? Does he ask them anything? Have you even met any of them? How long have you been dating? He is the same around everyone else. I suppose that makes sense. I've met all his family that are in this country. His parents are coming from Italy this summer so he wants me to meet them as well. That makes sense. I never noticed that. He is like that with everyone I guess its just his personality. I must admit though, it wouldn't hurt to get some affection every now and then.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 He is the same around everyone else. I suppose that makes sense. I've met all his family that are in this country. His parents are coming from Italy this summer so he wants me to meet them as well. That makes sense. I never noticed that. He is like that with everyone I guess its just his personality. I must admit though, it wouldn't hurt to get some affection every now and then. I wouldn't say he's emotionally or physically stunted, but if you want more affection you're going to have to initiate. A guy I know tend to have terrible " memory" when it comes to remembering things about me. When I asked him why he doesn't try, he says it's because it's not important. Yeah, it was a slap to the face.
mtber75 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I use to be like that when I was in my 20s being dismissive of other people's issues as "not important." But as I matured I learned to listen and emphasize more. You should point that out to him. It may very well be he's personality to be a introvert. But if he cares about you, he should at least make the effort? If he won't change just move on?
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 I use to be like that when I was in my 20s being dismissive of other people's issues as "not important." But as I matured I learned to listen and emphasize more. But that's the thing. Caring shouldn't have anything to do with maturity. If you genuinely care then you will ask questions no?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 But that's the thing. Caring shouldn't have anything to do with maturity. If you genuinely care then you will ask questions no? I think it's less about caring than common courtesy. I honestly have never fully dealt with anyone who is thus " inconsiderate" and the few that I've came across were people I took pain to avoid. I guess the question is, how important is he to you? If the two of you are in a relationship, being " caring" becomes a natural process.
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