jessy1 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hey guys I just have a random question for you. Are females with brains a turn off? I was kind of always bought up with the feeling that I could never get a partner unless I had some kind of degree or something. I was a very very ugly girl and got bullied alot and thus it was kinda set in my mind that the only way I could get a guy would be to impress him with my knowledge. So I put my head down and went to uni and worked my butt off! I have two science degrees, an endorsement and am now doing my masters in science. However it seems like this is a massive turn off for guys. I never bring it up unless asked but when I do say what I study or what I have studied they seem to run for the hills. Its kinda gotten to the point where Im almost embarrased to talk about it and I dread being asked!! So I was just a little curious if it is a turn off for a female to have brains? Thanks
Knittress Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 As a woman with brains, do you honestly care if someone who would likely bore you to death bolts? But are you sure it's the real reason? Most of the people I know hold advanced degrees and it's never been an issue.
Knittress Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Oh god no! It's a big turn on for me and the giddy, fluzzy type are not my thing, along with gold diggers. Brains is good. BTW, sorry for the bullying you went through. I know how it is:) I am both fuzzy and brainy, thanksmuch. Two TOTALLY separate things. I wish people would stop confusing intelligence with having a cold demeanor.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Turn off? I love brains! Oh wait, you meant....ooooh, riiight. In that case, I think brains are attractive. Can't stand women who only know how to talk about MTV and the E! channel.
musemaj11 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Men are not turned off by women who are much more educated or much richer. But men are intimidated by women who are much more educated or much richer. Personally I stay away from women who are more educated or wealthier than me. Its not because I dont like them. In fact I do. But its just that like other men, Im socially conditioned to believe that women dont respect men who are less in status. So better not start it in the first place then start it and dumped later.
Disillusioned Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I'm turned on by women with brains, but a lot of other men are turned off by them. It's generally well known that less intelligent people enjoy sex more. Dummies have us brainiacs beat in bed, hands down.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I prefer an intelligent woman. But I prefer that this intelligence is focused on contemporary issues and social consciousness. Having someone with two science degrees who hasn't heard of 9 out of 10 things hip or contemporary I bring up does not buy her a pass. I would also qualify my preference to be for a woman who is not "competitive" with her SO. She can be competitive everywhere else but I just won't abide contentiousness in a relationship. We need to trust, love and accept each other faults and all.
luvflower Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Fluzzy to me means airhead and dumb. It's the ones who ask me "Titanic? Oh that boat from the movie from Leo Decaprio...was that a real ship once"? I like brains, no fluzzy:laugh: I think she misread your word "fluzzy" for "fuzzy":laugh: I did the same thing, but took a 2nd look at the context...
30Years Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 It's generally well known that less intelligent people enjoy sex more. Dummies have us brainiacs beat in bed, hands down. You're kidding me, right?
30Years Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 And for the record, I would not be compatible with an uneducated woman. I prefer women with smarts.
luvflower Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I prefer an intelligent woman. But I prefer that this intelligence is focused on contemporary issues and social consciousness. Having someone with two science degrees who hasn't heard of 9 out of 10 things hip or contemporary I bring up does not buy her a pass. I would also qualify my preference to be for a woman who is not "competitive" with her SO. She can be competitive everywhere else but I just won't abide contentiousness in a relationship. We need to trust, love and accept each other faults and all. Excellent point! OP may be pretty balanced though. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Excellent point! OP may be pretty balanced though. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Indeed. No intention to imply that she would not be balanced otherwise.
muse08 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) I want to add that if she is smart and she knows it, but is a condescending bitch, that would be a turn off. I agree with this...I feel like people should be moderately balanced...I'll replace "balanced" with "humble"...I think that works just as well. Every genius is not going to be able to talk about a symphony, science and the latest hip hop artist who may have appeared in a film or the latest heavy metal band who's getting the most hype...It's just the way it is. In a perfect world everyone would be balanced in every sense of the word. Some people are just really good at what they're good at and need people to to sincerely help them out with other things in life to make them more socially aware and vice versa w/ people who are only socially aware(so they may think...mtv,bet, vh1,housewives of ATL...) They need to be "helped out" as well. Sometimes people can overcompensate for things by "appearing" to be a b!tch, dog, sadistic, etc. Sometimes it's just to cover up for other things. I suggest not dumbing yourself down, but being more transparent about things that you may not be as knowledgeable about. Be your true self, but also be sincere in allowing others(ITC guys) to show you their strengths. I can't imagine all guys having a problem with your academic bkgrnd unless you sitting around not letting them get a word in. In that case, you may need to chill out a lil bit...that's all;). Edited February 9, 2011 by muse08
Highness Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I agree with Frisky - there are different types of 'smarts' and being well educated doesn't necessarily mean you have the kind of intelligence some kinds are looking for. I am 'book smart' but I have absolutely no common sense or 'street' smarts. My boyfriend isn't well read but he is commonsensical and has a lot of life experience that I don't, so I feel that we complement each other well. It's also true that many men are intimidated by succesful women, but you wouldn't want to be with these men so in the end it's a moot point. I used to censor myself and often outright lied about my education and occupation to guys just because it so often became an issue for them. My current boyfriend does not view our r'ship as a p*ssing contest and it has never been an issue for him because he is confident and secure in who he is. That's the kind of guy I hope you find.
musemaj11 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 It's also true that many men are intimidated by succesful women, but you wouldn't want to be with these men so in the end it's a moot point. I used to censor myself and often outright lied about my education and occupation to guys just because it so often became an issue for them. My current boyfriend does not view our r'ship as a p*ssing contest and it has never been an issue for him because he is confident and secure in who he is. That's the kind of guy I hope you find. Men who are intimidated by more successful women are not bad people. I know Im not a bad person. You need to understand that we all have different upbringings. Its similar to a woman who wont approach a much more attractive guy because she thinks that he must want a woman who is even more attractive than him even if its actually not true.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hmm... I know an engineer chick who is GORGEOUS, very smart, and very rich... yet men don't approach her. If I was a lesbian I would be drooling over her! I think they might be intimidated with her, she is very nice too, a little bit nerdy but not too much. When I found out she didn't have a boyfriend I was thinking maybe she was commitment-phobe?
Highness Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Men who are intimidated by more successful women are not bad people. I know Im not a bad person. You need to understand that we all have different upbringings. Its similar to a woman who wont approach a much more attractive guy because she thinks that he must want a woman who is even more attractive than him even if its actually not true. I understand this and didn't mean to imply that men who are intimidated by successful women are "bad". They're just not the kind of guys that the OP should be worried about attracting (or not attracting).
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Are females with brains a turn off? Absolutely, 100% not at all. But I think smarter dudes will be more apt to appreciate smarter women, and I feel that the inverse would also hold true.
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Having more education doesn't necessarily mean you'll earn more money or be more successful than a less educated man. I have a PhD and my bf has a Masters, but he earns more than me because his skills are more lucrative and commercial. Also I'm the absent-minded professor type, and he's much more practical and copes with life better. So although I'm smarter in an academic and intellectual sense, he is generally more competent and earns more. The balance works well for both of us
Highness Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 When I found out she didn't have a boyfriend I was thinking maybe she was commitment-phobe? Perhaps she's just happily single!
Distant78 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I prefer an intelligent woman. But I prefer that this intelligence is focused on contemporary issues and social consciousness. Having someone with two science degrees who hasn't heard of 9 out of 10 things hip or contemporary I bring up does not buy her a pass. I would also qualify my preference to be for a woman who is not "competitive" with her SO. She can be competitive everywhere else but I just won't abide contentiousness in a relationship. We need to trust, love and accept each other faults and all. The best post on this thread. That's why men are so damn intimidated by women who are smarter than them in a specific field. Can't be acting so cocky in a relationship. I won't put up with that type of woman either.
30Years Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hmm... I know an engineer chick who is GORGEOUS, very smart, and very rich... yet men don't approach her. If I was a lesbian I would be drooling over her! I'm an engineer too, and I hate to think that she is feeling rejected. What's her phone number?
Titania22 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Absolutely, 100% not at all. But I think smarter dudes will be more apt to appreciate smarter women, and I feel that the inverse would also hold true. Reading this thread reminded me of something. I consider myself pretty intelligent, but the other week I was playing board games with my daughter and my brother, and next to them I felt positively retarded. So I think intelligence is relative.
musemaj11 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hmm... I know an engineer chick who is GORGEOUS, very smart, and very rich... yet men don't approach her. Thats because she should be the one doing the approaching. The reason men are traditionally the hunters is because for 50,000 years men were the ones with the education, the money and the house. They were the ones who were in the position to choose whom they want to 'invite' into their lives. Women who have everything and wonder why no man approaches them have no understanding of social dynamics.
Titania22 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I'm an engineer too, and I hate to think that she is feeling rejected. What's her phone number? Good one 30years. So funny!
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