jen_r Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) ...and called him. I saw that he unblocked me on FB a few days ago and I fought the urge to message him and talk sh*t. But then I just felt like starting something because I knew why he unblocked me, to read what I had written on some other guys wall. So I simply wrote "What'd you unblock me for? Go back into hiding. Go back to being just another @$$hole that I can add to the list of guys who have used me." I was blocked again within seconds. I didn't care. But then of course, the night comes and I'm laying in bed just THINKING about him. I called his work phone this morning (the only way I can get a hold of him) and he answered (my number was blocked) and I expected him to hang up as he usually does the second he hears my voice. Heres how the convo went... "Hi. Hang up. Same old story?" to my surprise, he didn't hang up. "What do you want Jen?" "Oh, you didnt hang up this time?" "...What do you want?" "What do you think?" "An apology? An explaination?" "Yes. More the first one." "Well, your not getting one. I didnt do anything wrong and I dont owe you anything." "Ummm, you think what you did was really okay? You think its okay to try to f**k someone ALL night and then the next morning tell them that you're not even attracted to them??" ..........silence.......... "Jen, what do you want?" "I just told you! Your a messed up person if you think that that is okay to do to someone, you think im just gonna go on my merry way after that?" "You need to move on, your just....insane." "No, your a selfish f**king @$$hole who only thinks of himself and his feelings. As long as you're not hurting!" "I did everything I could to save this relationship, I tried my best." "BULL*****, you didnt do a damn thing! I did everything! I tried and tried and you fought me the whole way!!!" by this time I am crying, after I just put on all my makeup to get ready for work haha what a waste of time....and makeup lol. He says "your ignorant if you believe that. I have to get back to work." CLICK. I just set myself back a few weeks. I hadn't spoken to him since early Jan. Why can't he say sorry?? Not sure why I typed all that out, cathartic i guess. Ugh. I'm sad now. =( Edited February 8, 2011 by jen_r
stopthemadness Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Ya you made a Big mistake by that calling that man. But as my therapist would say"dont beat your self up about it" Just learn from it. You dont say how long you were 2gether or how long youve been broke up? But it dosent really matter. If when you call him he hangs up when he hears your voice, Please dont keep putting you self through that. He sounds soo done with this relationship. So start your NO CONTACT 2day.I too was like you, kept contact with him. But its been 20 days 2day of n/c and am doing alright. The sooner you start healing the better and n/c is healing. Keep posting it helps. and try the chat room on here too. Hang in there NC NC NC NC NC
Author jen_r Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Together for over 2 years, lived together, yaddy yadda. Its a long, long story. But yes, I did make a mistake calling him because the conversation meant more to me than it did to him. I am already out of his mind as we speak and he is probably chatting up other girls. I dont want him back, I get sick when I think about what hes done to me, so....I dont really know what I want or why i called him.
TakeMeasIam Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Because you needed something to fuel your pain and at the same time, justify it. The pain you felt was senseless. You gave it reason.
Author jen_r Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Because you needed something to fuel your pain and at the same time, justify it. The pain you felt was senseless. You gave it reason. sounds about right :-/
Denillad Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Hi Jen! I can relate to ur anger n need to hear he cared n all the rest. It won't happened or atleast when u least expect it. I am still angry at times with my ex of two years. He strung me on for 2 yrs and then he recently told someone he was done from the day he left and all along he contacted me every week n talkd about havin a kid together. He bad mouthed every guy who tried to get with me while all along he lived with is gf n I allowed it. We have to accept them for who they are. He used me for sex n used me to get over the relationship. I too lashed out at him 2 wkd ago when I thought how much I tried/ push n really doesn't even think about me as do for him n I have to really get it in my head that I have accept my 100% percent responsibility in the mistake that I made before n after him. I allowed these things and I have to take my blame, not his n just move on. He can only see over his side of the fence. Let him n the anger go, it what's best for u. I just got a message from my ex of over 8 yrs( a less serious relationship) n he says he still thinks about me n want to see what can happen "sometimes" they do come around and last year another ex came around though he was married but he reminds me he still cares about me n thinks about me. In midst of the turmoil know it not on you they made the choice to let things go so u just try to move on. NC all the way.
gator12 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 You want totalk to him because you never got your closure. From what I read, this guy is an as***le who gives all good guys out there a bad name. You are better off without him, you guys both need time before you can really look objectively at the relationship. Right now he thinks he's right and you think your right. In a few months one or the other will realize that they were wrong in some way, probably both of you partly, though him it sounds like to a much greater extent. The fact is the relationship didn't end because of one of you, it ended because of both of you. But that doesn't matter, he will give you an apology if he matures and realizes his mistake. Don't contact him again, you made a mistake and that's okay move past it. He isn't worth your tears. -Gator
Author jen_r Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 You want totalk to him because you never got your closure. From what I read, this guy is an as***le who gives all good guys out there a bad name. You are better off without him, you guys both need time before you can really look objectively at the relationship. Right now he thinks he's right and you think your right. In a few months one or the other will realize that they were wrong in some way, probably both of you partly, though him it sounds like to a much greater extent. The fact is the relationship didn't end because of one of you, it ended because of both of you. But that doesn't matter, he will give you an apology if he matures and realizes his mistake. Don't contact him again, you made a mistake and that's okay move past it. He isn't worth your tears. -Gator I sent him an email a while ago telling him that just because he got closure didn't mean that I did, and that he should consider my feelings. Yah, like that got a response . It literally baffles me as to how he can act as if I wronged him so badly - if i did then i could understand why he would treat me like crap - but i didnt. My last memory of this relationship is going out to dinner with him, him trying his hardest to hook up with me (whilst i had a broken wrist), and him telling me the next morning that he's not even attacted to me anymore and then NOT ANOTHER WORD. Blocked, phone, email, facebook. So, you're right, he isn't worth my tears. Its just taking me forever to get the guy i met out of my head, cause i still love him more than anything in the world. :-/
gator12 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 It's a long road. And you will have many hard days ahead of you, NC is the best way to get through it as fast as possible for your sake. Stay in it, talking to him will only set back your healing. You're a wonderful girl who got dumped by some jerk, in a month or so you'll realize someone out there is waiting for you. And I promise he is literally going to be the perfct guy for you. So chin up and smile, the days will be hard but you'll get through them. The only place to go from here is up =] -Gator
Author jen_r Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 It's a long road. And you will have many hard days ahead of you, NC is the best way to get through it as fast as possible for your sake. Stay in it, talking to him will only set back your healing. You're a wonderful girl who got dumped by some jerk, in a month or so you'll realize someone out there is waiting for you. And I promise he is literally going to be the perfct guy for you. So chin up and smile, the days will be hard but you'll get through them. The only place to go from here is up =] -Gator I know you're right. But my heart is still covinced he is the one for me, despite the ways he has treated me :/
Denillad Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) It's really hard but hang in there. I feel/felt the same way about my ex too. That he was the only one for me n I could love no other. Im hurt cause he strung me along n I too want him to feel the hurt. Today I was tempted to call him n as soon as I was about dial the number the phone went dead, n thank god it did. NC continues, we can't change how they feel nor will our words affect them. Give them silence, moving on n being happily over them is the best revenge but it's not an easy task. I know I'm not where I was nor where I want to be. My worst moments are when I break nc and I feel the hurt n anger again. Just try to let it go. Edited February 10, 2011 by Denillad
gator12 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 I know you're right. But my heart is still covinced he is the one for me, despite the ways he has treated me :/ It takes time for the heart to catch up to the mind unfortunately. The way I look at it, is if it's meant to be it's meant to be, they will come back at some point. If they never do by then you will be moved on and it wont matter because you will be on to someone else. Just stay positive and stay in NC, you will heal in time. You won't believe the weight off of your shoulders after 1 month of NC. -Gator
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