jayto Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I found out he has indeed booked his vacation along with his "female friend" who will be sharing the room with him. I have not spoken to him in days and am not aware whether she will be staying the full two weeks or not. I do know she will be there for one week. I've decided to not take his calls. I know he will be calling, just a matter of time, as we fought on the phone four days back so it will take a while for him to contact me. What should I say? At this point, I don't want to go for one week. I feel this holiday has been planned by "them" and I've not been included. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what resort they will be in. Should I speak to him, or avoid calls for a while?
Cee Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I wrote on the other thread. What you have posted gives more clarity. It's not 4 people sharing one room. It's your boyfriend sharing a room with one woman. You've made your boundary and told him this is a deal breaker. If you feel you will cave by talking with him, then don't talk. If you need to want to have a discussion with the man you have loved for 4 years, then have a face to face discussion. Do what your gut tells you. Maybe talk it over with a trusted friend to process your feelings. And then make a decision about what to do.
zengirl Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Say you feel excluded. Say you think it was presumptuous and rude. Say you could not consider going and are upset by it. Say whatever it is you feel. Say you want to break up with him, if you do, but if this man is your boyfriend, don't just stop returning his calls. How would you like it if someone did that to you after years? It's childish. You don't have to like, or agree with, what he's done. You can even break up with him over it, if that's what you want to do, but if you just ignore him, then YOU become the one who's behaving badly. Always take the high ground. You'll get a better view.
iJester Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I don't see why you'd avoid his calls. You should pick up the first time he calls you, and tell him that it's over. Why do you want to stay with someone that would treat you like this and behave like he is?
O'Malley Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I feel this holiday has been planned by "them" and I've not been included. I would take time to gain some insight into why you feel this way -- is there a certain set of behaviors that your boyfriend has demonstrated in previous situations, or is it just this isolated incident? Why do you believe that they've planned this? Talk to him when he calls, and discuss exactly why you are uncomfortable about this situation. As Stung mentioned on the other thread, see if he is open to some reasonable compromise before making any larger decisions.
Anela Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) I would tell him that it's over if he goes without you (tell him before he goes)- if he shares the room with this other woman, even though he knows that you don't want him to. Edited February 10, 2011 by Anela
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