tiger20 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Are you in a relationship with a woman who baby's you? You might enjoy the pampering that she gives you & all that's fun but think how it will hurt the relationship long term. If you continue to let her baby you & treat you like a child then eventually she will begin to see you as a child & not as her boyfriend. She will see it as a mother- child relationship instead of a man & woman relationship. That means her interest level in you drops. Women are attracted to strong self reliant men & not children. So if she is doing your laundry or ironing your clothes or fixing a plate of food for you or going to the refrigerator for you to get you a drink or pouring peroxide on your leg or arm when you fall down & hurt yourself then you have to put a stop to all of that. Don't get me wrong. She is well intentioned in doing all these things for you because she is born with a motherly instinct but she needs to save those instincts for when she has a real baby or she can save it for her guy friends who are already in her friend-zone. I don't mind her babying her guy friends but don't do it to me because over time it will kill her interest level in me. So you might ask how to put a stop to it? Well you certainly don't want to be rude to her when you confront her about treating you like a child. You just need to sit down & have a talk & tell her "Honey I appreciate you doing my laundry for me. I thank you for going through all the trouble to do that but from now on I prefer to take care of it myself". The bottom line is this. Does she want to date a man or does she want a mother-child relationship with you? Women don't date children or men they see as little boys. So by having this talk with her & telling her you'd like to do these things yourself you are proving to her that you are self reliant & strong, which is attractive. She needs proof that you can stand on your own 2 feet otherwise she'll keep babying you until her interest level drops & she dumps you or worse the two of you get married & you are miserable the rest of your lives. She'll never have kids because she already has one she married to as far as she's concerned.
Jazzari Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 My marriage was one where I stayed home and raised the family. Taking care of my husband was part of my job. Just like bringing home a paycheck was part of his. Sitting around on my duff all day and not doing my part would just be wrong. Added to that, I enjoy doing things for people I love. It didn't make him a child in my eyes by a long shot. It made me feel good to take care of him, just like taking care of me made him feel good. If I am in a serious relationship with someone and they asked me not to do things for him, then I would feel rejected and most likely walk.
waynebrady Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I don't even know why any man would like that. It seems emasculating. Most men prefer not to be emasculated.
ZachNormand Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I don't this it's always going to be the case that a relationship fades away if the girlfriend is very motherly. like Jazzari mentioned, some women may feel rejected if the man doesn't let show her motherly affections to him. But, i believe there should be some kind of balance to keep the relationship healthy as well.
ALonerAgain Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) As a woman, this is actually spot on. Except, I'm coming at it from a different angle: I tend to be the one who ends up being 'babied'. This happened to me in my last relationship. My ex's (and I think, most of society's) view is that it's someone else's (if you're the woman, it should be the man; and vice versa if you're the man) job to take of you. In fact, nobody should have to be taking care of each other in these ways. I made that mistake with the ex. He saw me as someone who needed taking care of (or at least he was of the view that a man should take care of the woman) - and I let him. In the end, as mentioned by the OP, he lost respect for me and went after someone else. The funny thing is, I'll be damned if a guy expected me to do that. Edited February 8, 2011 by ALonerAgain
waynebrady Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I don't this it's always going to be the case that a relationship fades away if the girlfriend is very motherly. like Jazzari mentioned, some women may feel rejected if the man doesn't let show her motherly affections to him. But, i believe there should be some kind of balance to keep the relationship healthy as well. Why would women want to show her motherly affections to her man? I doubt they do, their motherly affections/instincts are for an eventual child only.
carhill Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 OP, my datapoint is the last woman who babied me was my mother when I lived at home as a young man. The unhealthy take-away from that was I thought such behaviors were a healthy way of showing love in an intimate relationship. Wrong. Watching how my parents treated each other (spousal loving actions and words) and myself was poor socialization for integration into modern society. Accepted
Author tiger20 Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 I don't believe it is the man's job to take care of a woman either. Yeah some women marry because they want a man to take care of them instead of marrying for love. I believe both partners should be self reliant individuals. If both are able bodied then why not? Both should be working & in most cases in today's economy both partners need to have jobs to maintain a household. Therefore both should be taking up share of housework chores. It is both a man's and woman's job to do housework. Most men in America don't do enough housework. I know this because that's on the list of things that many women complain about. He doesn't do enough housework.
GivenUp0083 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Hey Tiger, do you know if there's plagierism laws against copying snippets from a book and posting them on message boards as your own thoughts and advice?? Tiger reads a cheesy book called "THE SYSTEM" by a cheesy author named "Doc Love" and posts little paraphrases here in this forum. Isn't there a way to ban people for this?
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Hey Tiger, do you know if there's plagierism laws against copying snippets from a book and posting them on message boards as your own thoughts and advice?? Tiger reads a cheesy book called "THE SYSTEM" by a cheesy author named "Doc Love" and posts little paraphrases here in this forum. Isn't there a way to ban people for this? Just like his erstwhile bro, "Steve20" I think was his name ...
TakeMeasIam Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I think - for the record - that I prefer the egg thread.
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