Chell Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 So here is the deal, my new boyfriend is moving march 1st...He had vacation time to use up before he leaves permanently so he took a 2 week vacation to travel the world. He left friday for a trip out west but is leaving the country this friday again.. in which i definitely won't be able to talk to him. i tried to discuss what would happen to us when he moved before he left on vacation, and at first he said he didn't want a LDR, he tried it before and it didn't work. i didn't take this well, and then he stated he was confused and doesn't know what he wants, but he will see me when he gets home and we can talk then..when he comes back he will only be here for a few days before the big move.. i talked to him friday, which didn't go so well so I apologized on saturday, and he texted me back but i havn't heard from him since. Do i keep giving him space he needs to figure things out? or should i contact him before he leaves the country for over a week... i feel that a decision hasn't really been reached yet, i havn't been able to air my feelings to him that well about our relationship... I don't want him to feel like im not putting effort in..but at the same time he is still getting online, facebook..everything, so he is fully capable of talking to me as well. also, i am the one sitting around here while he is off having a good time.. I know how great i will feel once he actually contacts me, instead of contacting him and agonizing over when he will get back to me..I wouldn't bring up anything about our relationship, i just want to talk to him in general..please give me some support and guidance in what i should do!!
0hpenelope Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Don't break NC. He wants his space, give that space to him and use that time to sort out your own affairs, too. Just don't put your life on hold. Don't do it. The temporary high of getting in touch with him isn't worth the lows of knowing that he's still not with you. Focus on yourself.
depplover_1980 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 It sounds like you were a stop gap for him until his exciting trip. Leave him well alone and move on with your life and don't expect him to come back as travelling round the world will keep him more than occupied. Sorry. x
Author Chell Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 well he interviewed for the job after we met, and i knew he had applied but being the optimist that i am, did not take it into account. Now that he actually got the job, things are a mess. I personally did not expect to get this attached to him, but i did..i'm trying not to put my life on hold, but no matter what i am doing i am thinking about him and it hurts! when he left everything was fine! i let him borrow some of my stuff for the trip and everything, now i just feel like crap... i did hound him a bit when he left about us which i know guys hate, which is why i feel like i should not contact him until we both process it..but this is still killing me and i feel myself getting weaker
depplover_1980 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Yes it must be painful Chell,but in future never underestimate your ability to become attached! I honestly think he'll meet loads of girls in his new life,he clearly isn't that bonded to you. Wise up and get tough - be angry instead.
Author Chell Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 well the thing is i've had a bunch of relationships, especially a bunch that did not end so well, and i believe that i have learned lessons in all of them. However, this has resulted in a lot of guarding behavior and difficulty in having a normal relationship..I don't really get attached , and i usually am the one to end things..But he was one of those people that you have a great connection with, and i went all in, trying to not let my past issues get the best of me, and this is where i ended up. I am angry! this is serious to me and he is being very casual about it. in the time i've known him he does everything last minute, and waiting till the last couple days before he leaves to talk to me seems pretty normal for him. he is moving back to where he lived for 3 years so yes, he has a ton of girls and friends already there in a giant city.
depplover_1980 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Perhaps you need to take from it in the sense there are people out there that you'll want to hand yourself over to again, you'd not met them in the guys you ended it with before. Do not allow his immaturity to tarnish this breakthrough because the next guy may not be so blase - the love game is always a gamble but the prizes can be big.
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