g1lly Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Ok so I have been talking to this guy from online every day for about 3 weeks now. We get on really well and made what i think is an amazing connection. Even to the point of spooky as I sent him a track of me what he was listening to in his car! We have spoken about meeting, however due to circumstances and personal work schedules for both of us this is proving difficult to arrange. All reasons for us are genuine, I am a singer so work most evenings and weekends and he has children from a previous relationship so naturally dedicates a lot of free time to them. I have suggested several dates but each time he cannot make them. He has said that as soon as he can he will and it has to be soon as he may melt. Now this is driving me crazy, I so want to meet him as I believe I come across so much better in person than over phone/email/ text. Even if its a date far out in the future, just to fix something would be great. How do I tell him how much I want to meet without seeming desperate? Do you think I am being too impatient? What should I do? I have had an experience similar to this before where I met someone online and we talked for a whole year and still have not met, The moment there has passed and its now too late for us to meet, as we should of done a long time ago, however we still maintain our friendship. I don't want the same thing to happen with this guy as I think he is pretty awesome. Please help- and advice on what to do would be fabulous and any guys point of view would be amazing too as you see it different from us girls
carhill Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 IMO, if two people want to meet, they make the time. Never has been a problem for me, no matter the schedule or distance. Sufficiently motivated, a person acts. If not, there is not sufficient motivation. Simple as that. 'I prefer to conduct my friendships and relationships in real life. How do you feel about that?'
Gettingtired Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Hey G1lly, i've just recently started seeing someone that started of via text/phone and e-mail. Given, it was only for a week, but we connected straight away and when we met at the weekend had such a great time. She and I were so excited come Friday night and spoke for over an hour on the phone, as well as on Wednesday and Thursday. I'm thinking you maybe need to make a plan for a week ahead or 2 weeks? As you both seem to have high commitments, if you really want to meet I'm sure you can both compromise just once to see each other.
Gettingtired Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Carhill beat me to it. And was so much more "to the point" too.
Emilia Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 if you keep trying to meet up and he keeps saying no, beware, he is likely to be a very different person from what he is claiming to be online. a person is not 'real' until you meet them,they could be anyone, could be just a troll or some weirdo (happened to me!) or just married. don't get carried away about someone you have never met in real life. people are bad at projecting their fantasies and it is what you are doing, you have no idea who he is. that works both ways, he is projecting his own fantasies and there is a chance he will never want to find out whether you live up to them or not. if he doesn't want to meet soon, cut the cord
carhill Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I'll add, from historical datapoints, that the largest users of 'phone', 'IM' and 'e-mail', at the cost of real life interactions, have been the emotional whores/vampires. They get the validation they want without pressing flesh. Such personality types know no gender. Think about it. While they're yammering away, they could be out on a real life *date* with you, OP. It occurred to me that the reticent man could be married or attached. LOL.
Author g1lly Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I just wanted to say thank you for all your replies. perhaps I am getting too carried away and for the moment should just enjoy the conversation. On thinking back he did suggest a meeting that I couldnt make the date so I suppose it cuts both ways. When do you think it will be too late and the moment will of passed. is it possible to talk online and the phone for too long before meeting? I told him about my previous experiance and he understood and assured me that as soon as he can we will arrange. He went to explain more about his home life and it seems things are changing for him as he is moving to be closer to his children and working very long hours. I hope these are not excuses perhaps I am too trusting but they seem genuine and he continued to text me multiple times a day. So do you all think the same?
Seamless74 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 'll add, from historical datapoints, that the largest users of 'phone', 'IM' and 'e-mail', at the cost of real life interactions, have been the emotional whores/vampires. They get the validation they want without pressing flesh. Such personality types know no gender. as usual Carhill excellent observation....
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