1a1d1a1m Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Should I mention in my online dating profile that I'm disabled and in a wheelchair, or should I wait until I have further communication? I want to be upfront and honest about my disability, but at same time I don't want to scare anyone away. I would hate for a woman to start liking me and then have to say, "Oh, by the way." That seems a little bait and switch to me. Right now I do mention it, and I can get women interested enough to at least read my profile with my first message, but nothing ever comes of it once they find out. I'm wondering if they would be as quick to dismiss me, if they got to know me a little. Or is that completely dishonest? I would appreciate some advise. Thanks,
Cee Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I would mention it up front in a profile. It's better to weed out women up front rather than wasting your precious time. Also, there is an online dating site called Dating4Disabled that someone I know is using. She has osteogenesis imperfecta and is in a wheel chair. I think it's working for her because she is posting on FB complaints about her dates and how men break her heart. And that is pretty much how many non-disabled women talk about online dating, too. I can't vouch for the site, but it might help widen your net. Good luck.
Eeyore79 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Disability is one of those things which some women consider to be a deal breaker; no matter what your other attributes are, they won't date you. There's little point wasting your time on such women (or wasting their time). Even women who might otherwise have been interested might be turned off by your deception, because they feel like you've been dishonest. The best course of action is to be honest up front, then at least you know that any woman who expresses an interest is genuinely interested and won't change her mind abruptly as soon as you reveal your "secret".
muse08 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I say definitely be upfront about this. As a previous poster mentioned, it helps weed out the ones who may have other preferences or who may just be flat out very superficial...In that case, you don't need them anyway...who does?
Titania22 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I'm going with put it on your profile, so your time isn't wasted.
catgotyourtongue Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Should I mention in my online dating profile that I'm disabled and in a wheelchair, or should I wait until I have further communication? I want to be upfront and honest about my disability, but at same time I don't want to scare anyone away. I would hate for a woman to start liking me and then have to say, "Oh, by the way." That seems a little bait and switch to me. Right now I do mention it, and I can get women interested enough to at least read my profile with my first message, but nothing ever comes of it once they find out. I'm wondering if they would be as quick to dismiss me, if they got to know me a little. Or is that completely dishonest? I would appreciate some advise. Thanks, Yes, I would say mention it. Weed out people first I think. Some people won't have an issue with it, many will, unfortunately. But lot's of people in wheelchairs and with medical conditions have successful relationships. I have medical issues, and I am open about them when dating, online dating etc. I wish you luck. And I am sorry that you have to deal with this additional hardship when it comes to dating. It's hard enough already, I know :-(
Taramere Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I think you should mention it, without saying much more than "I'm a wheelchair user." It's correct and fair to other people to let them know, but equally you owe it to yourself not to be defined by it. So keep the focus, in your profile, on who you are, what you like, what makes you laugh, what motivates you etc.
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