Div Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Bit of backstory: I met a girl on holiday and we hit it off like mad. Although due to her distance from where I live (3hrs apart) we decided a full relationship could not work. However we continued to see each other casually for around a month. She is a 4 years younger than I am, I'm 21 shes 17. Things progressed well, until this last week. She began claiming she is falling in love with me, and that I'm in her heart and she couldnt imagine life without me etc etc. This surprised me, and although I had strong feelings for her I didnt want to get too attached due to her age and the distance we live apart. It was all good after that and about a week later she said she is having second thoughts etc. I told her I still want to see her and keep it casual. She continues to wish wash between "loving" me and saying im her world, and then saying its not working for her. She then said we should stop seeing each other. I kept calm, and told her don't worry about it we will just be friends, and if you're ever in my town come and visit me. I'm hoping my cool attitude towards it was the right thing, though ultimately I want to keep seeing her. In the past I have gotten angry / completely cut off women when they do this. I wanted to try this approach, act disinterested and not bothered and see how she reacts.
WindyCityGirl Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 It was all good after that and about a week later she said she is having second thoughts etc. I told her I still want to see her and keep it casual. She continues to wish wash between "loving" me and saying im her world, and then saying its not working for her. Women have second thoughts because men send mixed messages. Bottom line. I think you handled it the right way by telling her upfront that you only wanted a casual situation when she's in your town, however the fatal flaw is that you have maintained contact with her and appear to be more interested than you really are. What's the point of emails, texts, and conversation if you want something casual? She's young so her emotions are going to be all over the place. Be careful, you don't want to hurt someone unnecessarily.
Author Div Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Women have second thoughts because men send mixed messages. Bottom line. I think you handled it the right way by telling her upfront that you only wanted a casual situation when she's in your town, however the fatal flaw is that you have maintained contact with her and appear to be more interested than you really are. What's the point of emails, texts, and conversation if you want something casual? She's young so her emotions are going to be all over the place. Be careful, you don't want to hurt someone unnecessarily. You're right. Well she seems to have changed her mind again. Certainly from now on I will be keeping it strictly casual and not doing bf/gf things anymore.
Recommended Posts