heman Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) A woman and I have a sexual relationship, and now she told me she is pregnant with my baby. We've known each other years ago and we've met early this year and we started to have sex. I'm married. She’s married. What should I do? She told me I can keep the baby when she delivered the baby (because she’s ashamed about this, she’s busy, she’s making ends meet and can’t take care of the baby); And she said because I am the biological father. I’m trying to provide for her needs while she’s pregnant. She is married too with children but she lives separately from her husband. I am a married man with children of my own, a family, and having a good relationship with my wife even though she works in another state and our marriage is okay, but this is why this situation have happened because I have sexual needs but my wife's not with me because she works far away. How this economic crisis brought a heavy toll. Our children are with me. I pity the baby of this woman I have sex with because the baby already has a life. This woman is not my girlfriend we just have sex but I’m stopping it, no more. And now my questions; Which is better to do, Do I have my close relative couple, a cousin & his wife or a brother & his wife (who wanted a baby of their own) adopt the baby or do I have a non-relative (who wanted a baby of their own) adopt the baby? For me, I wanted to have a close relative adopt my baby because I will know how the baby is treated by them and I will know where they are or will be because they are a close relative and I can always go there and look. But the problem is this when my wife knows this will she not become resentful to my cousin or my brother why they adopt the baby without telling her and affect the peace in our family. It's okay with me if my wife will get angry with me because it is my fault and a big one but my cousin or my brother or which of them that will become an adopted parent will have no fault because they will only be trying to help me and they wanted a baby of their own. And if a non-relative couple will adopt the baby I can't possibly know how they treat the baby because I don't know them personally and I will not always have knowledge where they will be because we are not close and they are not my relative so i will just be in a distant far. I think you understand what I'm writing here. You may think this is confusing, yeah, I'm so confused right now what to do and what to decide. In short, which is better couple to adopt the baby with regard in my part and of my family, and for the baby too. Yeah, I have messed things up for I thought at first I cannot anymore impregnate a woman, I have believed I was sterile for I and my wife have tried to have another baby but could not (anymore). But when the woman I had sexual relation with have informed me she's pregnant positively with my baby, and then she told me she have to have an abortion I forbid her because for me it's a big sin to take a baby, an innocent one's life. So that’s it. This problem is already here now and I cannot do anything to take it back, hence, I need advices from good and kind people, from good people who can empathize my situation so I can make good decision for the welfare of the innocent baby and for my family's peace, seriously. Edited February 8, 2011 by heman To make it more clearer
D78 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Hey herman, I think you might find more people who can emphasize in the infidelity forum. This forum is more for people learning to cope with losing someone. You might try posting your question here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/f35/ It will still be here, if anyone has advice. Good luck!
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