Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 Hokey - I just got a vision of you and me in some nightspot with our banana stash in our purses trying to temptingly titillate onlookers. Got to wipe the coffee off my desk, keyboard,....
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme So I should carry popsicles around with me? Do you suppose a banana would do? Cucumbers people!
yes Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 i've deliberately practices getting guys' attention - i always kept it light though, so don't worry - no victims. what i found was that you have to check out what kind of guy he is. if he's an alpha-male type, cocky and all - give him one look(more like a sexy glare) and that's it, just wait - he'll come around to ask your name if he's interrsted. if it's a shyish "normal" guy, give him a chance to give you special attention. e.g. ask him to dance with you LATER (i.e. he has to find you later). or chat & say - i'm going to X and then to Y - i.e. give him your plan so that he can join you if he wants. or better yet, esp if you haven't met him, say 'did you just .... ?!!' and make fun of it... that's what's worked for me. i find that if do these things, and have the attitude that no particular male on this planet is worth my attention, i don't have trouble getting them curious abt me. hope that helps, -yes
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 Thanks - I'm not so much looking for how to get someone interested in the first place, more how to indicate to the interesting someone during whatever sort of encounter (date, coffee, whatsis) that I think he's peachy and would welcome further attention. See, here's the thing. What's usually happened is that I get to know people and then get interested in them after spending some time with them. All this time, nobody's signalling anybody. This is usually in the context of work or some social group, etc. Then they seem a bit more interested but I still hang back. So I'm looking for the 'go-ahead' cue to give to someone who's been paying me attention to let them know that I'd be into something more akin to a relationship.
yes Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 well, they WILL go ahead if they get curious (the ones who won't have no balls, ask Vivid!). so all you gotta do is help them get curious -yes PS oops- i misread... so if he's been giving you attention and you want to give a green light... i'd do lil things like touches, paying attention to details of him and his life - just to let him know you're interested in him, too. that should be enough, i think. it's up to him to start taking you out, right? and once he does, you can suggest to get together, too.
Cpunch75 Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 "Oh, I'm fine with chatting and making pals and such" Chat seductively, put some uuuumps and ahhhhhs into your voice or your could just sit and stare at each other and flirt.
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 smile, suggest more coffee or lunch agin, heres my number.....email..... hotel key.....etc...
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 OK, so far so good. Now how to indicate to the interesting someone during whatever sort of encounter (date, coffee, whatsis) that I think he's peachy and would welcome further attention. See, here's the thing. What's usually happened is that I get to know people and then get interested in them after spending some time with them. All this time, nobody's signalling anybody. This is usually in the context of work or some social group, etc. Then they seem a bit more interested but I still hang back. I'm looking for the 'go-ahead' cue to give to someone who's been paying me attention to let them know that I'd be into something more akin to a relationship.
EnigmaXOXO Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Ever thought about taking the initiative to ask 'him' out, moi?? I think you'd be surprised at how well he'd respond!
CaterpillarGirl Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I don't think flirting should necessarily be a facetious thing. I mean, if you don't think his jokes are funny - don't laugh. But I do think that men are not really in tune with subtle signals, which is why I've had to swallow my reservations and be a little bolder in "signaling" interest. Touching, smiling, moving closer to them, probing for their interest, and then of course, just outright asking them out. The toughest situation, no doubt, is the one you reference, Moimeme - inducing a friend to take it to another level. In these situations, especially if you've had a lively relationship up to this point, signs of interest may be taken as just teasing or silliness. So the only method is to be straightforward and actually discuss dating with them. A scary concept, since there is always a chance that you'll spoil the hitherto great dynamic of your friendship.
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 A scary concept, since there is always a chance that you'll spoil the hitherto great dynamic of your friendship. That was always the fear. However, it's pretty clear in hindsight that my not having done anything in that regard probably gave them to believe I wasn't interested. Ugh. Rock. Hard place. Don't like being there at all
Thinkalot Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I havent read all the replies here Merry...but did want to add. I used to flirt quite a bit...you know all giggles and eye contact and chatter etc...and attracted plenty of guys (not always good ones tho..lol!) BUT when I met my Bunnyboy...well, I was the one who asked him out for coffee, and I THOUGHT I was putting off plenty of "i'm interested" signals. Turns out I wasn't putting out any- HE was thinking I just wanted a friendship and nervously put out feelers himself! Then he said I continued to play it cool for quite a while. I didnt realise! Guess I was protecting myself against hurt, and playing it safe. Sometimes, if you think you are feeling a bit interested, you just need to say a few direct sort of statements to that effect I think, to let the fellow know where you are at, otherwise, it can get too confusing, and things might get ..well.. lost in translation
Thinkalot Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Oh and yes, hair tossing, laughing, staring deeply into another's eyes are all good bodylanguage signs BUT don't rely on them alone. Like I said, I did all that with Bunnyboy, and he STILL wasn't sure where he stood..
faux Posted March 25, 2004 Posted March 25, 2004 I observe level of eye contact, tone of voice, and body language. To be more specific, the body language that I am most concerned with is how close the person will position herself in relation to me, if she will touch me during conversation, and how she positions her arms while we are engaged in conversation. Compliments are always good indicators as to some level of interest. The list could go on, but I find it is the most subtle things which are important to analyze.
Recommended Posts