moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I'm having a splendid 'Duh' moment today (thanks, Arabess! ). It occurs to me that I've missed a couple of opportunities in my time and it was entirely my fault. I don't send signals. I'm very friendly, and I know some guys have mistaken that for signals, but I know I don't deliberately ever send any signals. Why? Well, it's a long story which probably boils down to: I'm an idiot. The reasons behind it are not germane to the issue; the thing is that I realize this is dumb and I should fix it. So how and when? Yes, I've had relationships, but they didn't come about in traditional ways. I should maybe try doing what normal people do LOL. Fellows - what signals are you looking for before you approach? Ladies - what signals do you send? Who does what first?
HokeyReligions Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 OH MY GAWD!!! We have something in common! I am very interested in the replies!
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 OH MY GAWD!!! We have something in common! It's not the first time
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I've seen your flirty side Merry.....but I will admit you use it sparingly and with caution. My mother wasn't a flirter. When I get around men she always tells me I act like a 'Damn silly little goose!"....and then she makes this hilarious tiny honking sound over and over. It's funnier in a German accent! ANYWAY, she said the reason she didn't flirt was because she would never be attracted to a man who was stupid enough to fall for it. Perhaps you also would not be attracted to a man who fell for 'silly gooses'. There are still ways to send signals though. It can be in a smile, a warm pat on the arm or in the tone of your voice when you greet him. It's the ability to make a man feel like when he is in your presence....he is the only man in the room. Practice on the ones who don't count. LOL!
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 ANYWAY, she said the reason she didn't flirt was because she would never be attracted to a man who was stupid enough to fall for it. Ah! Good point. It's more that I never wanted to win a man by seduction; I figure that's the unfair way to go. I'll flirt once I know he's interested to keep him so, but I never wanted to 'trap' anybody and I have always thought that seduction amounted to that. I want someone to decide he likes me, not to be bamboozled into taking up with me because I've got his hormones in a dither. Practice on the ones who don't count. LOL! I haven't the heart So is flirting the only signal?
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 well i have this low self esteem thing going for me...so i always assume the worst when guys do anything...like he is making fun of me, or just saying something to see how i react. so often times i never did react- but that was when i was younger... now i only have older guys hit on me, like over 40...which is flattering, i wonder if i have lost appeal for young studs? i do not think i am unattactive, i have my moments sure.....
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 <<.... not to be bamboozled into taking up with me because I've got his hormones in a dither.>> This is where we are different. What you described is actually my end result GOAL! HAHA! I didn't know there was a difference between 'flirting' and 'sending a signal'. One may be a more dignified way to give a man attention than the other.....but I thought they were basically the same.
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 I didn't know there was a difference between 'flirting' and 'sending a signal'. One may be a more dignified way to give a man attention than the other.....but I thought they were basically the same. Not what I was thinking. More that there may be a signal that says 'I'm approachable' or 'If you're interested, I am' which seems it wouldn't be as overt as actual flirting. But I'm asking. I suspect you're right.
Cpunch75 Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Official male response: Body language. Like leaning close in, like ya wanna shag or something then and there or on a washing machine at spin cycle. Eyes, needless to say, eyes, the gaze, the seductive stare with the smile. the Hair toss. the hair toss, the hair flop, when you toss your hair to show how georgous it is. ummmm in a bar, when she stirs her straw in her jack and coke, she'd rather be stirrin something else. On a city sidewalk, the look up and down stare, the moment you wish that would just stop....
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 HAHA CPunch....THAT is neither a flirt nor a signal. That's a blatant way of saying "I'm a HO....BOINK ME!".
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 Thanks, Cpunch. Man, have I missed the boat. Maybe points for eyes, but that's it. All opinions welcome; clearly I am far behind the eight ball here.
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Not what I was thinking. More that there may be a signal that says 'I'm approachable' or 'If you're interested, I am' which seems it wouldn't be as overt as actual flirting. But I'm asking. I suspect you're right. I'm the woman who will shoot a spit ball across the bar into a man's drink to get his attention. I'm NOT the 'eloquent signaling' type! Maybe some of the Shackers 'with class' will give better pointers. LOL!
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I would be much more shy in a room full of females than males. Men are wonderful in responding. I love them as people.....whereas I don't draw to women with the same warmth. Out of a hundred guys, I might meet one or two I don't like as a person. With women, it's pretty much the other way around.
Cpunch75 Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Go Arabess go! Fiesty women are appreciated well Moimeme, i've noticed, personally that i'm more attracted to the girls that generally go after what they want, instead of the timid shy girls. I love it when girls get snappy and obnoxious, it's an amazing thing. so knock the 8 ball in, do the hair thing, work your groove.
EnigmaXOXO Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 HAHA CPunch....THAT is neither a flirt nor a signal. That's a blatant way of saying "I'm a HO....BOINK ME!". Thanks, Arabess. That one made me snarf my coffee up my nose. What a rush!
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 Out of a hundred guys, I might meet one or two I don't like as a person. With women, it's pretty much the other way around Oh, I'm fine with chatting and making pals and such. I'm lucky in that I run across more women that I like than you do but I like the lads, too. Liking people in general isn't a prob. Liking someone in particular more so.
Arabess Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 I'm sure it would be harder if I were actually looking for love. In my case, any man with beer money and a uniform will do! HAHA! That's not true.....I actually have and do date some of the greatest guys in the world. I'm just not looking for a relationship. This brings up my next point....perhaps I'm NOT nervous about flirting with because I'm not TRYING to make a love match. Maybe you are looking too hard for something serious instead of honing your 'male skills' on a more casual basis. A nice dinner, a few drinks, a little dancing.....is a good thing. He doesn't have to be Prince Charming. WORSE....you may not NOTICE he is Prince Charming if you didn't give him a chance.
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 Maybe you are looking too hard for something serious Oh, hell no. I'm not 'looking' at all. I'm talking about the goofs I made in the past and how to avoid them in future if/when I come across someone I have more than a passing interest in.
HokeyReligions Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by Cpunch75 Official male response: Body language. Like leaning close in, like ya wanna shag or something then and there or on a washing machine at spin cycle. Eyes, needless to say, eyes, the gaze, the seductive stare with the smile. the Hair toss. the hair toss, the hair flop, when you toss your hair to show how georgous it is. ummmm in a bar, when she stirs her straw in her jack and coke, she'd rather be stirrin something else. On a city sidewalk, the look up and down stare, the moment you wish that would just stop.... OMG! In my initial reply to Moimeme I had typed "please don't tell me its as simple as a hair toss!" and then I deleted that because I thought that was too silly to say! OMG! I need a LOT of help! Arabess said: It's the ability to make a man feel like when he is in your presence....he is the only man in the room. I've heard this before in another context and didn't pay too much attention to it - but it makes more sense to me now in this context. I do remember --way back when -- I used to be able to eat a popsicle in a, well, a "slutty" manner as we used to say! Anyone remember the Gong Show and the two girls who ate popsicles? Unfortunatly, I was in high school and my posturing/attitude when I did this was more to torment guys I would not have anything to do with anyway! (yeah, crappy I know--but I was in HIGH SCHOOL!)
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 So I should carry popsicles around with me? Do you suppose a banana would do?
Cpunch75 Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 no no no no dont carry a popsickle around. think sexy, be sexy, walk like you aren't wearin underwear on. guys can tell.
HokeyReligions Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme So I should carry popsicles around with me? Do you suppose a banana would do? Well, there's a thought. Popsicles would melt, but you could carry a banana in your pocket and if someone asks if that's a banana in your pocket or are you glad to see them you can say 'its a banana in my pocket' if you don't like them, and if you do like them you can seductively remove said banana from your pocket (letting it slip back in a couple of times before removing completely) and then sensuously strip the fruit from its sheath and begin tasting it with your tongue --remembering that the part furthest down the shaft is the tastiest and requires some throat stretching to reach - before actually taking a bite. I used to wait until I knew the guys watching me were, um, committed to the action, before I would take a bite of the Popsicle. A couple of them actually flinched when I did that -- so be careful when eating the banana! LOL!
Author moimeme Posted March 24, 2004 Author Posted March 24, 2004 think sexy, be sexy, walk like you aren't wearin underwear on. Hoo boy. I usually keep all that stuff on 'off' mode.
tattoomytoe Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 if a person is open stanced, not with their arms crossed, not looking down, and if they seem approachable, happy, then that is a primer, saying "yes i am happy, friendly..come talk to me" whether a guy does or not is his deal. but generally that girl will fair better. then eye contact...but some peolpe do that all the time. also lightly touching of the hand, that is a good clue.
Recommended Posts