tigressA Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 This is my official progression/update thread to recount how things are going with YCG (yellow corvette guy). http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t263595/ I just got off the phone with him. He said he was thinking about me pretty much all day today and that he can't wait until Wednesday to see me again. Cute. He asked me if I have plans for next Monday, and I said, "Not so far...why next Monday? That's a weird day for a date." I wasn't just playing dumb; I completely forgot about Valentine's Day. He asked if I had a calendar near me, I looked it up on my laptop and said, "Oh, that day! I totally forgot. Haha, no, I don't have any plans." He said, "Good, you're mine for Monday then." Siiiigh. We have really good back-and-forth. Conversation topics go all over the place and it's really fun. He seems sincere; I appreciate that he makes plans with me so far ahead of time. I wasn't expecting him to call me today since he hadn't called between our first two dates, so it was a nice surprise. I guess I can expect more contact from him from here on out. I'm all giddy about Wednesday. And Monday!
Ay Diesel T Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Happy for ya, just wish my time would come already, it's tough being single lol. Wonder when, who, and what she'll look like.
NYCGirly Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Definitely looking forward to the updates! Glad to hear things are going well. I love that feeling at the beginning of a budding relationship when things are fresh and new and you get all giddy *sigh* Reading about this has motivated me to get back in the game. I miss the "new relationship" feeling. Hoping to get there myself soon!
SmileFace Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 All the best - hope this works out :bunny: Waiting for my YCG... but I will rather a RBG (red boxster guy) lol kidding
Author tigressA Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) I've been thinking and I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a quandary. Today is date #3 and it's been only a week. I like that he asks to see me so often, particularly since he lives out of town--it's nice that he prioritizes me. Been awhile since that's happened. What I'm concerned with is that because of the frequency, I forget how little time it's been. It feels like we've been seeing each other for a few weeks instead of just one. I really want to take time before upping the physical intimacy, but it's been years since I've taken that approach. I know that it's harder for me not to escalate things in the moment once at least one article of clothing has been taken off, so I want all the clothes to stay on for a couple more weeks. I also think it would be really teasing to start disrobing and then not go all the way--I don't want to come off as a tease. Ultimately I am going to do what I feel most comfortable with, but I know I won't be comfortable with a quick escalation of intimacy. I want to do it in stages. Anyone got any tips for me? I'm feeling a little lost. Edit: Since it probably won't be obvious to some people, I am not doing this to make him like me more/make him stick around. I really want to spend time getting to know him, and have him get to know me, before getting all hot and bothered under the covers early on. Edited February 9, 2011 by tigressA
oaks Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Sounds good. Happy for you. I completely forgot about Valentine's Day.
mo mo Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Just a word of advice.. Look what happened with OG. She came here describing every step and detail of her relationship. She got ridiculed for certain things, she started having doubts, etc. etc. etc. It almost happened with you. Remember we were telling you that this guy seemed super insecure and all that. It's good you went through with the date and you're hopeful for the future, but I would refrain from talking too much about what you guys do. You might not like what people have to say here. Just go with the flow and follow your instincts. If serious problems come up and you need direction, we'll be here for you.
Author tigressA Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) Just a word of advice.. Look what happened with OG. She came here describing every step and detail of her relationship. She got ridiculed for certain things, she started having doubts, etc. etc. etc. It almost happened with you. Remember we were telling you that this guy seemed super insecure and all that. It's good you went through with the date and you're hopeful for the future, but I would refrain from talking too much about what you guys do. You might not like what people have to say here. Just go with the flow and follow your instincts. If serious problems come up and you need direction, we'll be here for you. Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't worry. I know what my intentions are (no sex until officially declared exclusivity), so I should just see where things go and make the decisions that will lead me to my desired goal. If it turns out he has a problem with my intentions, or tries to make me feel bad about them, then we're not compatible. Edit: Never mind. Just going to do what feels right...to an extent. Edited February 9, 2011 by tigressA
Cee Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) I don't know about the idea of spacing out dates. I just got a boyfriend and we saw each other a lot over 3 weeks. But it was low pressure and not usually formal dates. Often we'd do social activities like play Quizzo or watch the Superbowl at a party. The hang outs were low key and ended with a kiss. I spent the night for the first time this weekend and the experience pretty much sealed the deal. Two days later, we admitted that we were in the early stages of a relationship. Btw, exclusivity was stated during the first date. We didn't meet online and weren't already dating other people. Edited February 9, 2011 by Cee
Author tigressA Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I don't know about the idea of spacing out dates. I just got a boyfriend and we saw each other a lot over 3 weeks. But it was low pressure and not usually formal dates. Often we'd do social activities like play Quizzo or watch the Superbowl at a party. The hang outs were low key and ended with a kiss. I spent the night for the first time this weekend and the experience pretty much sealed the deal. Two days later, we admitted that we were in the early stages of a relationship. Btw, exclusivity was stated during the first date. We didn't meet online and weren't already dating other people. I don't know if he's dating other people, but I'm not. We haven't talked about it at all. I'm not concerned about it...I'm going to let him bring it up. First date was dinner and a movie, second date was at a sports bar for the Superbowl. Tonight we're making a Target run--he's putting the finishing touches on his new place; he moved to the area a month ago...and I need a new lamp anyway. No clue about V-Day yet. I do really like seeing him so often. I much prefer "pressing flesh" as Carhill so often puts it, as opposed to making up for the lack of physical presence with phone calls and IMs. Urgh. I'm just a little concerned that I might forget how little time it's been and rush into things too quickly. At what point did you first go to your place or his?
Author tigressA Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 I just realized that it's been awhile since I've had a dating situation in which I saw the guy this much, or even more, in the beginning stages. I'm so used to swapping electrons for a week or two, and then once meeting seeing each other only once a week, or even less (like with C). I tended to mistake all the online and phone chatter for authentic intimacy when real-life interaction trumps all every single time. Seeing him this much is a very good thing, and the connection as a result is going to be more authentic early on. I just need to get used to it. Online dating has really screwed with my dating/relationship time line.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 I just realized that it's been awhile since I've had a dating situation in which I saw the guy this much, or even more, in the beginning stages. I'm so used to swapping electrons for a week or two, and then once meeting seeing each other only once a week, or even less (like with C). I tended to mistake all the online and phone chatter for authentic intimacy when real-life interaction trumps all every single time. Seeing him this much is a very good thing, and the connection as a result is going to be more authentic early on. I just need to get used to it. Online dating has really screwed with my dating/relationship time line. Did you disable your online profile yet?
Author tigressA Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 Did you disable your online profile yet? No, I didn't. He hasn't either, but he hasn't been online since we first talked on the site (9 days ago). I should disable it. Anyway...update. Date #3 was, of course, really nice. We got to do something mundane together (Target run). I didn't find the kind of lamp I wanted, but I helped him pick out some stuff for his apartment. He wanted my input. I resisted at first and said, "It's your place, you're the one who has to live with it." He said, "I want to make sure you like it, too." From what I saw, he didn't seem to be terribly conscious of price tags, but not to the point of recklessness. I get the sense that he's generous, yet sensible. He's not afraid of PDA either, which I love as I'm a very affectionate person. He was holding my hand a lot. When we stopped to scan the aisles he came up behind me and hugged me. We kissed, too. We went out to dinner after that. I told him I would pick up the tab this time; at first he resisted saying we could go dutch, but I insisted. He relented, thanked me and called me a sweetheart. We went to my place after dinner. We talked a little, mostly made out. I kept all the action above the waist. I asked him about V-Day and he says it's a surprise! He did make it clear that he's giving me something, so I want to give him something too. No idea what, but I'll figure it out. I hope he'll at least hint as to where we're going so I'll know what to wear. He said he's going to try to get out of work early that day. We're not seeing each other this weekend because I have plans to go away. When we said goodbye I said, "I want you to know I really appreciate you going...'out of your way' to see me so often. I know it's a bit of a drive. Not too many guys would do that without complaint. I like you, and I like feeling like I'm important to you." He said, "It's not out of my way at all. I like you and I want to see you as often as I can." He said he'll miss me this weekend, and we had a really long hug and kiss before he went out the door. I feel like melting into him when we kiss. Sigh. I really like this guy.
Author tigressA Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Here I go again, thinking too much. I feel weird about V-Day. On one hand it's cute that he wants to surprise me, but on the other it's annoying the piss out of me! I like to have at least some idea of what's going on. Perhaps something will be revealed in coming days. The thing I'm mostly worried about is what to do for him. I have no idea what is coming my way, so I don't know what 'level' I should be on. I already know I'm not going to do anything way out there with regard to expense or sentiment. I just don't have any clue beyond that. I really suck at gifts so early on, and the fact that it's so early on and I'm contemplating this at all is very weird for me. We're not even officially exclusively dating and there's all this hullabaloo. Argh. Someone help me! What do guys like?
Whatshername Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 Buy him a Men's Health Magazine and some of Bath & Body Works new Men's shower gels.....they smell amazing, it's not too pricey and that magazine can be read together, to find out (in a good, not sneaky way) how you feel about what you read.
Star Gazer Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 You liiiiiike him! You liiiiiiike him! Don't overthink it. He digs you. Get him some small housewarming gift. It'll make him happy.
johan Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 He said, "Good, you're mine for Monday then." Whoa! Throbbing red flag there! I hope you told Mr. Possessive to back the hell off.
Author tigressA Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 You liiiiiike him! You liiiiiiike him! Don't overthink it. He digs you. Get him some small housewarming gift. It'll make him happy. Yeah yeah, I liiiiike him. :laugh: And he does really dig me. Been awhile since last knowing how that feels. *Googles housewarming gift ideas*
daphne Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I want to do it in stages. Anyone got any tips for me? I'm feeling a little lost. Do I have tips for you. Don't let him come to your house. Stay out in public for dates. Stay in the car if you have to for first kisses etc. No teasing involved that way. If he gets handsy, you should respectfully and sweetly end the night with a kiss. Until you're ready, it's best not to tempt yourself too much. Personally, I wouldn't wait a few weeks. A couple of months is better to gauge who this person is. Honestly. We take more time to become close friends with someone than we do to become physically intimate. Something wrong with that. And why would you have to explain why you're doing this? Only manipulative men who are spoiled with women throwing sex around on teh first day would suggest that you're being manipulative. It's bs. Getting to know someone should be the norm, not the outdated thing. Sorry to be the one to throw cold water on your hot date. That's my job though, I think.
SmileFace Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I am happy ,if you are happy but it scares me how fast this is moving. It seem so like the pace I usually take - and you see how get that turns out ,right?
Imajerk17 Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 (edited) Hmmm. Some things seem a little too much too soon for me: e.g., "But I want to make sure you like it too!" shopping for his place. (I couldn't imagine saying something cheesy like that myself, but maybe that's just me.) Plus giving gifts on Valentine's Day after only what, 10 days. Why... Also, how old is he, and how did he get his Corvette? (Those things aren't cheap you know.) Then again, it sounds that he really is into you. Also, he could just be one of those guys who got his dating advice from watching romantic comedies Edited February 11, 2011 by Imajerk17
Author tigressA Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Thanks, Daphne. I'll keep that in mind. SmileFace: I know if I were here for this weekend he would want to see me. I have the feeling like he might be a bit of a clinger. It's probably because he's just moved to the area and I don't think he's befriended anyone else yet. I'm fine with seeing him a couple times a week or so at this stage. Imajerk: Yeah, the V-Day thing is a little much. I just talked to him on the phone and he said I didn't have to get him anything. I will anyway; it'll just be small. He's 29. He bought the car last year. He's in engineering. He does seem a little like one of "those" guys. It's cute, though.
jerbear Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 *Googles housewarming gift ideas* Box in a box?:lmao: Honestly I think helping a guy decorate is a good thing. I took date bed shopping once and she thought I was weird in a good way. :lmao:
SmileFace Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 (edited) I hope it works out. I want to see at least one smiling face. Edited February 11, 2011 by SmileFace
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