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Posted

My ex-husband was abandoned in childhood a few times. By biological and step-parents.

 

Although we are no longer married I cannot turn my back on him. But I am finding it very draining helping him all the time.

 

I want to help him as if he is OK then our child will be OK too.

 

He has a fantastic career and is loved. But he cannot be without a woman. He cannot bear to be alone. That would be fine except he has been choosing some unusual women to stop him feeling lonely...constant drama's.

 

Can anyone give me the details of any books that may help him work through his abandonment issues? I have been looking online but was hoping for some opinions from people who have experienced a similar childhood to my ex-husband.

 

Thanks.

Posted

why dont you hook him up with someone? than you can kill two birds with one stone. you;re off the hook and he is happy?

Posted

Sent you a PM JaneDoe.

  • Author
Posted
Sent you a PM JaneDoe.

 

cerridwen - PM did not come through. Is there any chance you could try again? Thanks.

Posted
cerridwen - PM did not come through. Is there any chance you could try again? Thanks.

 

Could you please post a few of the books here. I am looking also.

 

Thanks.

Posted
Could you please post a few of the books here. I am looking also.

 

Thanks.

 

You can look for books on the subjects of Attachment and Loss, Separation Anxiety, Healing Abandonment, Attachment Behavior. epending on the manifestation, you might look at Love/Emotional Dependency as well.

 

A few titles:

 

Attachments: Why You Feel, Act, and Love the Way You Do. (Has an emphasis on God in the second part of the book) by Dr. Timothy Clinton.

 

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing is kind of a classic.

 

@ JaneDoe35 Attachment in Adulthood by Mario Mikulincer is another one to consider. Scholarly but good stuff.

Posted (edited)
You can look for books on the subjects of Attachment and Loss, Separation Anxiety, Healing Abandonment, Attachment Behavior. epending on the manifestation, you might look at Love/Emotional Dependency as well.

 

A few titles:

 

Attachments: Why You Feel, Act, and Love the Way You Do. (Has an emphasis on God in the second part of the book) by Dr. Timothy Clinton.

 

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing is kind of a classic.

 

@ JaneDoe35 Attachment in Adulthood by Mario Mikulincer is another one to consider. Scholarly but good stuff.

 

 

I would also second the "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson and any of her other books. She also has a website as well: http://www.abandonment.net/

 

You might also want to look at my other thread which has a book list that might be helpful. I would also get him looking at re-parenting himself so that he learns to love and accept himself rather than relying on women/others to do it for him (some of this is listed on that thread).

 

Has he also tried therapy and/or group workshops that specialise in abandonment healing?

Edited by ALonerAgain
Posted (edited)

Another...with a link to Journey from Abandonment...

 

Secret Pains: Identifying and Overcoming Unresolved Inner Pains and Anger from Parental Abandonment: [COLOR=#990000]http://books.google.com/books?id=QRv...page&q&f=false[/COLOR]

 

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: http://books.google.com/books?id=f3O8ipIjwqEC&printsec=frontcover&dq=journey+from+abandonment+to+healing&hl=en&src=bmrr&ei=nd1aTdC9D4O8sQOErsykCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

 

@ALonerAgain-Great thread!!

Edited by cerridwen
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I'm in the same boat as your ex and have been hurt over and over again. Not ashamed to admit that i've been in therapy and some good books i've been recommended and have read are:

 

Codependent No More

 

Beyond Codependency

 

No More Mr Nice Guy

 

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Those 3 are very good reads. Have them check it out. Opens up new insights to yourself.

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