devastated. bf of one year disappeared from my life & seems to have new life on FB

[steffyy]

I'm so devastated and I don't know what to do. My ex broke up with me by just dropping off the face of the earth. We were together over a year and he did this to me right before Christmas. If i would text him or call him he would respond a few hours later and very evasively saying he was busy with work, sometimes he wouldn't respond at all. The last time i heard from him was when he texted me on New Years telling me that we would go out again in a few days now that work cleared up and then i never heard from him again - except via his Facebook page which is just devastating me. He blocked his wall so nobody could write on it. His friend called me because he's concerned about him and told me that my ex blocked his wall so I wouldn't see any strange wall post by girls since he still wants to be with me and now I know why; all of the sudden all these girls keep writing on his status updates. One is a college aged girl she writes all things implying they are together and then sometimes she gets rude with him saying he's ignoring her and that he led her on- There are a ton of other college girls on there too lately. We're both 30. I found out on Facebook that he went away on a vacation/business trip. Then from the same friend I found out that he met this girl while on vacation who just got out of a long-distance relationship and she now thinks that she's in a long distance relationship with him and that seems true because I've seen flirty messages on his pictures from her and also he's written flirty things on her wall. He doesn't even seem to care that I see all of this on his page and hers since it's open to friends of friends. This is all shocking to me. I know i need to take him off of my Facebook page but my heart is breaking and I just don't understand why he's acting this way and I'm worried about him. He also seems to be drinking heavily according to his Facebook posts. We were talking about marriage right before he started ignoring me and now it seems like he's dating all these other girls. My friends tell me I should laugh at him because the college girl seems like a nut the way she writes him and that I should laugh even more because he's in this long-distance relationship with someone on the rebound - but I can't seem to laugh, all i do is cry even though everything he's doing is so ridiculous.. I don't know how someone could just change overnight, he was always so attentive and i wonder if I should just confront him rather than doing the NC I've been doing since after I last heard from him. His friend told me that he still checks my Facebook page and asks about me, if that's true why doesn't he just contact me and what is he doing with all these girls. I don't even think I could look at him anymore seeing all these girls on his page and wondering what he's been doing with them. I'm sorry to rant on and on, i just don't know how to cope one day he told me how much he loves me and the next he seems like a new person with no regard for my feelings. I've been doing no contact for about a month now and he seems to be getting worse

[depplover_1980]

You poor poor thing. I think he is going through a major crisis about being 30, hence hanging around with young girls to try and prove he still 'has it', plus the excessive drinking and partying. This is crazy and pathetic but clearly he is having an insane period and I only put it down to the age as I have a few friends who struggle to accept the big 30!!

 

However he is totally humiliating you and no amount of love for him can compensate the lack of respect he is showing you right now.

 

Right YOU need to take charge of the relationship, contact him with an ultimatum outlining his crisis and he has a week to decide whether he wants you in his life or not. Be cold and emotionless, ACT it out. Then endure the toughest week of yet.

 

If after this time period you hear nothing, remove him from your Facebook, delete and block him, you will have to treat him as if he has moved to the other side of the world. You have to do this for your self respect and esteem so you come out knowing that even though he p i s s e d all over you, in the end you preserved number one - yourself. x