sand26 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Three months ago (approximately), I met a girl. She cold stepped to me at a bar and seemed sweet. It has been comfortable. She comes over a few times a week and we lay low. There is no hassle, there is no pressure. I like her a lot, but there is no future for us. I'm just not that into it. So, here is my problem... well, one of my problems. I have never broken up with a girl before. Generally they tire of my promiscuous non-committal attitude and take the initiative. However, I realize I can't keep allowing this girl to feed me and pamper me all while I know that I am not into her. I invited her to a vacation a while ago on a whim and the date is next week... so I think we will go on the vacation and then I have a work trip and then.. I really should break up with her and I genuinely want to hang with her as a friend. So, what's the nicest way to say, "I really want to hang with you, but no more intimate stuff." And when is the best time to do it? I'm thinking after my work trip.... but maybe we shouldn't even go on the vacation? I am so naive and cowardly, but if anyone has any advice (especially women): I am all ears. What would y'all prefer if you were in her shoes?
Jazzari Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I would want to know right away and no sugar coating.
zengirl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I would want to know right away and no sugar coating. Agreed. I don't recommend taking her on the vacation (unless she's already paid for things and cannot get refunds; then it's kind of rude to cancel it before).
Author sand26 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Thanks for the responses! Well, she isn't paying for the trip. Neither am I, the entire trip is being comped by several companies. But just out of curiosity, why not take her on the trip? Would it be leading her on?
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Thanks for the responses! Well, she isn't paying for the trip. Neither am I, the entire trip is being comped by several companies. But just out of curiosity, why not take her on the trip? Would it be leading her on? Yes, it would be leading her on.
lovelydemon Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Please, please tell her before the trip. If something like this happened to me I would either : - think I did something wrong during the trip and constantly analyze what it could be or - feel used for sex while on vacation or - if you say that you felt this way for a while, would feel that you had a pity sex with her. None of these are good. Just tell her that the relationship is not working for you. And after it's over, don't contact her to check up on her, she will need time to heal.
zengirl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Thanks for the responses! Well, she isn't paying for the trip. Neither am I, the entire trip is being comped by several companies. But just out of curiosity, why not take her on the trip? Would it be leading her on? Yes. It's totally leading her on.
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