giulio Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Hi, it's a bit long, but I would appreciate any help... I know her for about a year, and we've been together for a month. She's 24, nice, dedicated, definitely in search of a serious relationship and a serious bf. Our personality, reactions, interests are very similar and I feel we are really complementary. She lives 100 miles away, but we meet every couple of days. She texts/ calls a lot, and communication is always going on. She even invited me to her home (she lives with her parents) 2 times, but I rescheduled due to some reasons (she understood). She invited me to to a colleagues birthday party to join her. The problems started about a week ago: First she canceled the invitation, but offered a reason (the party got smaller, more intimate, with relatives and she didn't wanted me to be exposed to strange situations / strange situations later on at the job involving her), yet, I guess. - I made out my point but didn't made a fight of it. After the party we met, and she acted strange, as if she was upset and less patient. She wanted to pay for our movie ticket (I am the one who always pays). I asked her, but she said it has nothing to do with our relationship but she would't tell me what is the real reason. (I didn't knew that this will happen) so I planed to gave her a rose and she was extremely happy and thanked even the next day, seemed to be really happy and changed totally. The communication and messages are kind of same, she calls me, text me, writes online. Today she admitted that "I'm am honestly not upset on you, but I know I had some strange reactions lately" From her friends I know that she would not cheat on any of her bf's and sometimes tends to be depressed. I don;t know why is she like this now, if it has to do something with me or not (the truth is that I didn't gave her as much attention as she would deserve) Something is definitely wrong with her or us, and I would like to solve this problem... I care for her
Nexus One Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I think there's very little we can say on LS other than you should explain to her what you explained to us here and ask her what's wrong.
Author giulio Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Hi, I talked to her last night expressing my concerns for her and highlighted that: - I care for her, I like her but if we can't talk about our problems / she avoids telling me why is she that strange, things will not work out in the long run... in the end, she admitted that she has problems within her family and she doesn't feel (right now) / she doesn't like to talk about that (which is perfectly ok and understandable) What I really don't understand even after our 2 h long talk is that why am I guilty because she has problems with others? + if I send less "warm" messages / not contact her as ofter the reaction is almost opposite (she contacts, she shows that she likes me) ps. I really believe that all that happened and all the negative signals sent out can be traced back to this change in mood (which at the moment kind of worries me) and I'm kind of confused: should I continue to support her and face for her "coldness" or should I let her feel miss me and change "this cat and mouse game" ( I personally don't really like games)
iJester Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I don't think it's game playing to give her space right now. Just back off a little so she can deal with whatever it is, and she'll come around when she's ready.
Author giulio Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) I see... I guess it would be ok like this one more thing, I planned to make her a surprise for Valentine's Day, more exactly: go to her town, ask a friend to "deliver" her a bouquet of flowers + an envelope with two movie tickets (last time when we were in a cinema she saw a movie banner she liked a lot, but that movie will be a schedule only from this weekend) so I thought it would be a great surprise. (I would be waiting at some place for her to call me) It involves a bigger sacrifice from my side, due to the fact that it's on Monday. (I need to drive 2 hours to get there) The question is, does she deserves it ? Will this get her closer to me, or just send out a "I'am desperate for you" message ? (honestly I feel as if I am getting somewhat desperate... and it's bad, for me and the relationship as well) Edited February 8, 2011 by giulio
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