I have no title Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 We were together for 1 year....then I went to study in another country, so we entered a long distance relationship....It lasted for 6 more months...I think it only lasted because of me, cause already a month before I had to go for studying, things got worse between us...we were quarelling a lot, arguing, and so on. As soon as I went, it feel appart..he found another girl, started dating her...he didnt tell me anything about it.I just kept calling him, he kept telling me he loves me and misses me...wrote huge letters to me on facebook about how much he loves me and wants me in his life....well that kept going for 6 months, until I found out he had another girl.... we talked about it, I was devastated, we broke up, and I went NC since then...Of course I begged and pleaded for some time, but I realized it wasnt taking me anywhere, so I went NC. It has been nearly 2 months of NC with him.....he is probably deeply in love with his new gf and so on....he puts up pictures with her and says that she is all what he was dreaming about..he never did that when he was with me.... I used to have him on my skype contact list, and he used to sit online, but he never wrote...Today Ive noticed that he deleted me from his contact list... I dont understand whats happening with me....Im not crying after him, and I already decided that if he would ever want me back - I would say NO!..I am not willing to call him or talk to him.....but I just dont understand my own feelings right now..... I wish he would come crawling back to me so that I could spit into his face...I wish I would hurt him the way he did...I am checking his profile everyday, just to see if he's got new pictures with his new girlfriend..I just feel angry, because he looks like he loves her much more than he loved me! I think about him everyday....but I think only about the bad things he had done to me, and about how much I hate him..I dont like the way he looks and his character anymore, I would say that I TOTALLY HATE everything about him....but I cant stop thinking and being angry at the fact that he could just delete me out of his contact list like that, and just forget about me like that, and just love this girl....he used to say she was stupid and ugly, but now he is dating her...I just dont understand how that is possible.. The douchebag hasnt suffered the same as I did, and I just want to pay him back...but now he deleted me from his contacts (probably cause his lovely gf asked him to), he deleted me from his facebook, he deleted me out of his life...Im quite certain he doesnt have my phone number anymore, cause he also probably deleted it....Im just afraid there is no more hope that he would call me one day, and I will not be able to play on his feelings the way he did:( Did my presence in his contact list disturb him so much? I never wrote to him anything during these 2 months, but at least he could see me online, see that I was strong enough to be online and not to talk to him....why did he have to delete me.....oh, i dont understand....I dont even understand what is going on in my head......
ShatteredReality Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Ok - first off - it's not NC if you're checking his profile and looking in on him. You will NEVER get over him if you keep checking up on his life. You have to move on. You may not get to be the person who steps on his feelings the way that he stepped on yours...just trust that someone else will and he will feel the pain that you want so badly for him to feel. The more important thing here is that you move forward. Stop dwelling in the misery that he's left you in, prove to him you're better than that by moving on. Then if you ever run into him in life again he will see by how well you're doing that you've moved on and he will see what he's missing out on. LD relationships are tough...you don't need to be in one with someone who is only half in it themselves.
Author I have no title Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 thanks for the advice, and ofc you say some priceless words here....just....I already DECIDED forever and ever that I will never take him back if he would ever come....but, it just hurts to realize, that all what you've done for that particular person has not been appreciated...and hardly ever will be...I mean, a few months ago,for his b-day, I worked my ass out at work and bought him a nice silver necklace, which he just has recently removed from his neck (I saw from the recent pictures)...this was the last thing I hoped he would keep...It just hurts me so much to think that I made such an effort for him, and he perhaps just threw this necklace away....I did so many other things for him, that he just threw away, forgot and deleted out of his memory...deleted me from his contacts, removed all the pictures of us from his room, and finally removed the ****ing necklace I hoped so much he would keep...(his new gf probably threw out all the stuff I gave him, and some of the things were handmade and took me days to make).....I KNOW I have to move on, I know and I am not checking his page anymore...but it just hurts to think of from time to time....how can someone be so cruel? I wish, God I wish I could hurt him in the same way, and make him appreciate all the smallest things I have ever done for him! I wish, I wish, I wish....
ShatteredReality Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Ok - he probably didn't throw that stuff away....he may have put it all in a box and put it in a closet somewhere - sure - but I doubt he threw it away. And chances are, down the road, he'll find that box and go through it and be sad...so think instead of that...but better yet, every time he comes to mind push him out and try to think of something else...I know it's hard. It takes time. You will eventually move forward, though, and when you do it will feel REALLY good to put him where he belongs - in your past.
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