uant Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) My ex dumped me on 17th Oct last year.. it was a sudden break up with one letter asking for a break and disappear straight afterward. I tried contact him one day after and found out that he felt torture being with me this whole while. He asked to let him go and that he is happier now and won't come back to me. I was crushed. Gone to his house. Went crazy. I cried till I fainted. I begged. But nothing seemed to matter. He was everything to me and I only truly know how much i love him when he left. I was a fool. We were together very fast, around two weeks after we started talking. It was only a month before that I got dumped with the previous guy and i was still hurt. So this whole time being with him, memories and pain of being dumped by the previous guy still haunted me and I couldnt get over it. So when we were together.. I was mean but honestly confront him that I still thinking alot about my ex and I put alot of pressure on him in hopes that our relationship will work out. Maybe it was because I felt insecure so I really wanted him to love me so much so that I would overcome all the hurt feelings. I only realized how much I love him when his feeling has already gone. The break up was really bad and after all of those pleading he said "imagine a dog being locked up in a cage, would it ever want to come back after finally gotten out of it" My heart was totally smashed by his words as I couldn't believe how badly he felt about our relationship. Then, he finally told me he never loves me and he was just wanting to help me out from being heartbroken. He said that everything was just lies and all the things he did for me was just for the purpose of avoiding problems between us. We were together for 8 months but it was 24/7. We went japan together in late Sep and it was my first trip away in foreign country with a guy. I went to his house/hometown before. I know his family, friends etc. His mum and his sisters were very nice to me. He knows mine too although I haven't formally introduced him to my family as a boyfriend but he was the first person who I personally asked my parents to let him stay over at our house when he came to visit me in Bangkok during July which was my birthday. I must admit during the whole time I didnt do my best for him as I should but I was sincere when I told him I love him and everything I ever did for him, I did them from my heart. When it was broken. I couldnt stop blaming myself and I still am wishing I could rewrite the past. He however seemed to be seeing someone else straight afterwards in less than a week time and he refused to show me his phone in our last week of relationship. Maybe he has found someone who truly appreciated him and like to have the freedom again but he became really cold towards me and would just run away every time we accidentally ran into each other in uni. He was mad at me for sending an invitation to add her as friend on facebook. He was very mad at me for doing that and said that what i did terrified him and chasing his friends away. He said he wants a life of his own and to be closed with anyone he wanted too and he ended up spend his whole time with her and completely sending out signals that he couldnt stand having me in the same classroom as him. I was really heartbroken since he was basically everything to me there and I felt like I can't breathe not having him with me anymore. I was severely depressed and couldn't functioning so I decided to come back home and think about whether I should continue to do medicine. It was my dream to become a doctor but since I got into the course, i failed exams twice and I basically was in a country where I felt like I dont belong there. I dont know how to get around or even order food in a place where they dont use english and he used to always be there with me so i couldnt take it at all when it all fall apart. I learned now that I had relied too much on him that when he left me it was like I have to learn how to breathe again. When I was packing to come back home, i happened to saw his chat conversation in fb (his imac was still at my place and it auto login to his account when i opened fb) and the conversation was about having his friends(who is also my friend) congratulated him for the new girl and asked him how did he put up with me. He told him, he didnt want to lose face and break promises. He said he has been through hell but it has sharpen his experience as a guy. His friend further asked him to not go too fast with his new girl as it won't look nice and they further discussed about how to chase a girl and what a girl wants for a relationship. My dad who went to visit me saw the chat since he was together with me when i was reading them and bursting into tears. Dad was mad at him and didn't want him to further said bad things about me so he looked up his contact number from my phone without me knowing and txted him saying he didnt mind that we both broke up but he doesnt want him to look down on/insulted me and asked if he could bring my laptop back to my house for me (my macbook was with him). He replied to my dad that He is busy and said "child please grows up and grows your children up". That snapped my dad anger and dad ended up finding his mother phone number to txt him that her son has insulted him. His mum didnt believe at first but end up apologizing on behalf of her son. I never know all these things that happened between my dad and him and his mum till two days after that my dad told me about it. I was completely so scared and felt even more crushed by the fact that now its getting far worse than what i already scared of. I truly never wanted to let anyone interfere about what happened between us and i only wanted to go home as soon as i could to save myself from not able to function and non stops crying. I never wanted to further trouble him and i didnt even tell him that I was leaving and we might not be able to see each other again since we lives in different countries. He blocked my fb account and we never contact ever since. I txt his mum once his new year saying I am sorry if my dad words was harsh and that i truly didnt want it to end up this way cos i really do respect her and never wanted to hurt her feelings. She never reply and it upsets me so much. When i went back to pack the rest of my stuff out, everything still so painful that it was so hard for me to bare. I packed the rest of his stuff and gave them to my junior to pass them to him. I gave him Wii we bought together though i paid pretty much all of it. His blackberry box and its kits (i shared half to pay for his bb when he got his phone stolen from his house) his clothes and I bought him some shampoo he likes, some medicine he needs to use etc. I dont know if those stuff has reached him or did he throw all of them away but i never heard from him still. He is still in my mind every seconds that i am awake and I can hardly live on with my life but trying my best to. I really dont know what should I do even though I know wholeheartedly that there is no way I could turn back those times we had together. I even think of knitting him a scarf. Baking cakes and made him homemade chocolates for valentines. When i went to UK for a trip in xmas, i still bought him stuff and yet they all would never reach him. Everything reminds me of him and I really dont know if i would ever be happy as i used to be again. Edited February 7, 2011 by uant
2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) Hi I just read your story and I felt that you really did not deserve the way he treated you, what a pig seriously. I would do the following to let yourself heal: Delete EVERYTHING online that reminds you of him, FB etc Delete all numbers Get rid of all possessions that remind you of him - everything. Please I am going through break up from a girl I thought was the one, it just did not work out but I was hysterical after realising what I lost, drinking, looking at her FB and getting really upset and angry, texting her all sorts of silly stuff but I realised what I needed to do to heal because this is about YOU not him. When you get upset and angry (which you will) and it is natural it is because of how he betrayed you, and you need to feel the pain as this will be the only way to get it out of your system, trust me you will feel better in a month or so but right now you will feel terrible, emotional, all you can think of is him etc but you really will get better and get over it, it may not seem like that right now but trust in yourself and make yourself stronger and you will soon feel the power coming back to you and disappating from him, it is a great feeling when you come out the other side. Sure you will get bad days but it just feels like when it rains like "Oh dear it's raining" but really doesn't bother you that much. Just be strong and believe that you done nothing wrong and learn from it. You will feel desperately like contacting him right now or sending stuff/letters/email/texts but trust me DO NOT DO IT. You will be setting yourself back up for even more heartache, you will go right back to point 1 and you will feel EVEN worse, again - DO NOT CONTACT HIM AT ALL. 2011 Edited February 7, 2011 by 2011
depplover_1980 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 You will get over this and you will be happy again, but it will take longer than you thought - in my experience it took me a good year to get over both of my major relationships and I was crushed. Once you do survive them you always have that in your mind each time - a faith you'll get better.
Author uant Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 thnx u so much for both of the reply. They really mean alot to me to know that there are ppl from different part of the world that cares for me. Really appreciate it. I am trying my best still and will continue to live on with my life. I hope u both will stay strong and one day we all will surely find a true happiness thnx u for sharing ur stories and cares for me
coltsfan1 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 uant, Things are always the worst at the beginning. Take this time to find out what it is you really want and what you need to do to get over both your previous breakups. All you can do now is move forward and change the things in YOUR life that will not help you move forward. Try as hard as you can to make the tough decisions now, believe me if you don't they will only be harder in the future.
Author uant Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 its been nearly four months and i still miss him so much. I couldnt think of him as a bad person though he hurt me during break up cos he was very good to me while i was the one who never appreciate him enough. I regret being a messed up person while he was always there for me. that's y i'd like to say sorry and there is so much guilt building up inside me for not being a good girlfriend while i could and for being a fool knowing how much i love him when he had gone and i can't do anything. we were during valentines and since it is coming up.. i really miss him more than ever..
Recommended Posts