NewSmyrnaBeach Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) I'm 30 years old and I think I may have serious trust issues that may be ruining my life. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but I worked at the same place from the time I was 15 until I was 22. I dated the owner's daughter for a year in high school, then we started dating again when we were 20 years old. We dated for 5 years, were married for 3 years, and everything appeared to be fine. I go on a business trip and receive a text (yeah, a text) saying she was moving out. Eventually it comes out that she had been having an affair. I was seriously dropped on my face. That has been 3 years ago, I don't love her anymore, and I'm completely over it with the exception that I can't fully trust any girl I date. I assume that one day they will all go crazy or just let you down in some catastrophic way. I get these weird, gut feelings, that I am being kept in the dark about something and it drives me crazy. I feel like my mind is constantly looking for scenarios that could suggest scandalous behavior and then running wild with it until I get really worked up for no reason. Last night I got up and left my girlfriend's house at 11:30pm, when I live 1.5 hours away, because I was frustrated about something that hasn't even happened yet and I don't have any reason to really think it ever will. Anyway, she is an amazing girl, doesn't deserve it, and I want to fix this, not just for our relationship but for my sanity and future. We have been together for over a year and I could see myself marrying her one day. Should I go talk to someone? Have any of you overcome situations like this? Do you just decide that you will give someone a blank check with your trust and do it? I'm not sure I'm capable of that. Any assistance would be GREATLY appreciated. Edited February 7, 2011 by NewSmyrnaBeach
30Years Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 It sounds as though you may suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I recommend you see a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety related disorders. BTW, that you recognize all this is very good.
utterer of lies Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Should I go talk to someone? Yes. Your girlfriend. Have any of you overcome situations like this? Do you just decide that you will give someone a blank check with your trust and do it? I'm not sure I'm capable of that. Any assistance would be GREATLY appreciated. Maybe you do need professional help. But the first step should be to confide in your girlfriend and talk about it with her.
Author NewSmyrnaBeach Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 It is kind of tough to talk to a girlfriend about worries that you have about gut feelings without sounding like you are accusing her of something or without the conversation ending horribly. I kind of tried that last night and ended up really hurting her feelings. I know the majority of this is in my head and it drives me crazy.
daphne Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 It's totally understandable that you're paranoid now. Your gut is probably off kilter and on high alert as a result. Go talk to someone. You need someone who can help you find tools to dealing with it in more constructive ways than how you are now. You may never be able to write that blank check. I know I never will. But that doesn't mean you can't learn to let go and trust as much as you need to in order to be happy in a relationship with someone who has shown no reason to distrust them.
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