dispatch3d Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 It's not obsessing. It's called BITCHING. I reserve the right to bitch about tacky guys acting in tacky ways. When you no longer bitch, or have the need to bitch, you'll become a lot happier. I'm not saying I don't get mad ever - I definitely do. Especially if someone is particularly difficult with me. I don't vent too much though. Anyhow ho hum.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I met some spectacularly creepy online guys during my online dating phase. Ultimately, you may be encouraged to know, I met the right man for me. I'd like to share with you and email I received during those days from a fellow that I think of as "the hugging man." I decided not to meet this one - please read the email and you might understand why! I'm a very affectionate man. A nurse once pointed out to me that there's practically nothing you could catch from hugging, that you couldn't fix with some medicated soap. Kissing, on the other hand, can spread all sorts of things. So I'm very warm as far as hugging is concerned, but usually limited to just plain, simple hugging, without any particular time limit. For me, hugging is an end in itself, there's no implication that it's going to lead to anything else. Hugging is simply a nice safe expression of human warmth and affection. As a hugging person, I find that there are huge variations in people's hugging inclinations. I find if I meet a woman, and go for a simple walk and talk, where the subject of hugging has been discussed beforehand, that most women will overdose on hugging from a plain simple 10-second hug about once per block. A hugging woman would be enthusiastic and just warming up. I estimate that about five percent of women are hugging women. Hugging women have told me that hugging men are rare, so it's likely you haven't met one. All of the women I've met in person, without exception, have either concluded that I'm very nice to hug with, or that it's obvious that I love hugging more than they do. I've never forced myself on a woman. That simply just doesn't work. If a woman moves to end a hug, it ends. Hugging is a mutual thing, very complex and subtle. There are general differences between men and women. Most women prefer just being gently held, while men generally like squeezing. I happen to prefer just being gently held. You hug *with* someone. It's not a requirement that you be a hugging woman. Once upon a time, I met a woman after discussing hugging ahead of time. After a couple of brief hugs, it was obvious to me that she wasn't very comfortable with it, so I suggested that she be the one to initiate the next hug. We walked and talked for maybe a half hour before the next hug. Eventually, the pattern that emerged over our six hour walk and talk, was very long hugs, but less often. She wasn't what I refer to as a hugging woman, but she was quite compatible with me, as far as hugging was concerned, and we both enjoyed hugging a lot, and subsequently checked further to see if anything might develop. This woman was amazed that I would even ask permission before hugging; she said that she had never had that happen before. To what extent do you like hugging? If we were to eventually meet, and had discussed this ahead of time, what would be your attitude toward doing a significant number of 5 to 10 second simple hugs along the way of a walk and talk in a park? Remember that I ask permission before hugging, and that I recognize that I have to pass your "viewer test" before anything happens. Mind you, it doesn't work to ask for a hug. That's a difficult request to refuse, and simply unfair. Instead, there's my hypothetical question, "How would you react if I were to inquire about a hug?" I reply to dubious responses with "Then I won't ask." Usually, after a short time, the formality of permission gets dropped and a simple gesture on either side works fine. For my part, I have a policy of never refusing a hug, so you don't need to ask. Women can always get away with being spontaneous. Men can't. As far as morals go, as a currently unattached single man I'm a nice easy hug, but much slower for most other things. If I'm in a relationship, I look to my mate for affection. I prefer to go slowly and see if we can be friends first. Of course, remember that all this talk about hugging doesn't mean that I don't have the usual male interest in my mate. I'm not a clingy person, and I can live with a reasonable amount of hugging. But I'm affectionate, and I'm interested in love and affection more than most women are comfortable with, so I need to be candid about this. End of affection speech. *wink* Now it's your turn.
Nexus One Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I met some spectacularly creepy online guys during my online dating phase. Ultimately, you may be encouraged to know, I met the right man for me. I'd like to share with you and email I received during those days from a fellow that I think of as "the hugging man." I decided not to meet this one - please read the email and you might understand why! That wasn't creepy, that was funny!
Author daphne Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 I met some spectacularly creepy online guys during my online dating phase. Ultimately, you may be encouraged to know, I met the right man for me. I'd like to share with you and email I received during those days from a fellow that I think of as "the hugging man." I decided not to meet this one - please read the email and you might understand why! Oh boy. That was... special. I wonder if there are over 50 "hugging"'s in that email. He said it so much it was just a one word email for me. HuggingHuggingHuggingHuggingHuggingHuggingHuggingetc... I would be encouraged to find that you met the right one for you online. Otherwise, the consistent disappointment is getting difficult. Fortunately, I have a fabulous life so I have other fun things to keep me busy. But damn it would be nice to meet someone normal and compatible to share it with.
Author daphne Posted February 12, 2011 Author Posted February 12, 2011 Don'tcha know, the WWW would be nearly EMPTY were it not for Creepy Online Guys. The internet world evolves around them. :lmao:
alethean Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Wow. That hugging email is on another level of weird.
trinity1 Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Unfortunately there are a lot of creepy guys out there. That's why it isn't very tempting to go online dating. You have to wade through the sh.t before you find the one who is worth it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 Now I realize why I hate to hug people so much....
dispatch3d Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 hug guy seems pretty awesome to me. Looks like he's got the hug down to an art form haha. Too much hug social pressure though prehaps.
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