Sugarkane Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 As if being dumped for no reason and then insulted by text wasn't enough. My ex somehow managed to poison everyone. All our friends took his side and now I have to start again. Anyone else in the same situation? Why didn't they take my side?
Lemontang Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Clearly you've written this in an irrational moment. A little more info may help. But judging by the title I'd say he cheated and they took his side for what ever reason. From my experience some ex's will say what they want the others to hear. In time they eventually get found out. But the bigger thing to ask is if you've done nothing wrong and they took his side with all the facts in play then do you really want them as friends anyway?
makelemonade1974 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 This happened to me too. I'm still dealing with it. Try to look at it this way - they can't really be friends with both of you post breakup. I've only had one friend manage to do that and it's been very hard on him. Some people go one way or the other because of common interests, that person's charisma, etc. People are generally selfish (sorry, but it's the truth) and it may simply be that they have more fun with your ex than with you (and I'm not suggesting you are not fun) or they have more in common with your ex. I also think that people tend to stick by the person that's less broken up over the whole thing. I cried constantly for like 4 months, my ex laughed, had a great time, never mentioned my name, and generally acted like nothing ever happened. Of course people would rather hang out with him than the basket case that I became. Right or wrong - people make choices. The ones that truly love you, the ones that are truly worth having as friends, they aren't going anywhere. As for the rest - bleh, goodbye, good riddance.
Author Sugarkane Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Thanks it just feels like I've been betrayed all round
makelemonade1974 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Look at it as rebuilding - starting fresh. You have to rebuild YOU - find new interests, things you are passionate about. For me those things are always creative - paint, write, sculpt, even if you think you suck at it. Also maybe try a new exercise thing or sport - running, rock climbing, yoga. Yoga will change your life, I'm not kidding. Be comfortable being with yourself, and people will be naturally drawn to you. You will make new friends - ones that stick around. Try and see this as a period of nurturing and caring for yourself. Do things that make you happy. Talk kindly to yourself and forgive yourself (and others) for the past. (((hugs))) ostracism is terrible. I know what you are going through.
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