Cauldwell Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 My girlfriend was ... beyond anyone. I can't compare. We were together 20 months. She is 19, I am 24. She left me, over the phone. I don't hold it against her. Said she was confused, I pressed her, said she thought we were growing apart. She had problems with my ambition. By the next morning, she dropped the bomb. It was time for a 'break'. I never even thought it could happen. Its clear to me now I took her for granted near the end. I was depressed because of my job and my roommate situation, and I didn't see her nearly enough. I didn't tell her I was depressed though. The last time I've ever seen her, we watched movies until she fell asleep in my arms, at which point I took her to bed. In the morning I massaged her back and we made love, and we were happy. I thought. Then she left, and a week later, (yes I did not see her for a week or more), while on the phone she told me she was confused. She used to tell me, she was afraid to let herself love me too much. I told her the same, and we grew blindingly happy from this. She told me, if she took a break or broke up, she would want to be chased. Shes grown up on Disney and romance movies, she wants the guy who stands outside her bedroom window with a ghettoblaster, or sings her a heartfelt tune. She wants her prince in shining armor. She is a kitten inside, theres no doubting it. I know her. She is the love of my life, and after I cried I decided not to dust off and move on, but to work on this. I could never forgive myself if I didn't at least try, when I know she would have wanted it. Valentines day is the day after the week she wanted. I told her before that the break meant break-up, and she agreed. I think her love for me is fading because of my not being there for her near the end. She says she loves me so much, but even people who love each other break up. I want to give her a note for valentines asking her to meet me at a special place to us; a playstructure we used to walk to and lay in at night, watching the stars and talking. I know it won't look masculine or attractive to beg her forgiveness, but what else can I do? I've never let anyone into my heart before, I've had relationships yes and I've been dumped, but they were shallow and meaningless; I had plans to marry this girl. It should be said I lost my virginity to her. She really isn't mean hearted I'm horribly afraid she's just lost interest and I'm unable to get it back. Do I play hard to get? I don't want to lose this one. Thoughts?
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