cookiecrumbles Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 It’s a situation I don’t really know how to feel so I thought I would ask for your opinion. Me and my partner have been together for 2 years and we have lived together pretty much the whole time. We have been renting. Now however with our lease running out soon my partner wanted to look at building. So after about a week or two of enquiring she has now purchased a block of land and is going to start building, it all happened so fast. At first I was happy for her until yesterday she asked me… So does it feel weird that I am building a new home without you? I thought it was an odd question, and it started to make me think about the situation a lot more. I got to thinking about how it would have been nice if we could have done it together, I mean now we will never have that exciting experience of building our first house TOGETHER, the fact it was never even discussed between us before she went and did it, my feelings were never really factored in much. I will say I have just finished university and was thinking about going back for one year to do a diploma, so my partner would have had to of waited another year. But if you are serious with someone, wouldn’t you wait? She basically said she didn’t want to wait. Now she will be going through all this and I won’t really be apart of it because it will be HER home. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I also[/sIZE][/FONT] think well what about when I can afford my own house, what do I get to do? Considering she will have her own and not want to build again. What do you think?
spiderowl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I don't know how this arose really but I would hazard a guess that your girlfriend had brought up the subject of getting a new home together somehow a few times before. If she did, what was your response at the time? I think if I wanted to build for the future - and I don't mean just a home but a life - I would be concerned that the lease was coming to an end and that my boyfriend seemed unconcerned with the realities of life and was thinking of doing another degree! I can well understand you wanting to continue your studies and I would probably want to do the same, but your girlfriend is in the building stage of her life and wants to move forward on that front. I suspect she tried to get you involved in planning ahead and somehow you avoided it. Now you're in a situation where she's effectively given up waiting for you and gone and done it herself. What this means for your future is uncertain. She could be happy to stay with you but has just decided she needs to take the initiative in certain areas or this could be the beginning of the end. Sorry to put it like that but at her age I didn't go ahead with purchasing a first house because my boyfriend wasn't wholly behind me and I was afraid of taking it on by myself. I look back now and wish I had taken that risk and done it in my name only. He never could take initiatives in the real world and I have paid a heavy price since. I think your girlfriend is very enterprising and dynamic. If you would have been happy to plan with her and contribute financially towards a home, then it's a shame she didn't ask you to get involved, but if you had chances but ignored them, then I'm afraid she won't wait for you.
Recommended Posts