chelle21689 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I've been with him for 5 1/2 years and I love him with all my heart. We had a good relationship but he ended it because he no longer felt the same way anymore. I never ever thought he'd break up with me. We were so strong, I don't know what happened. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm depressed. It's only been two weeks...It's really hard to get out of bed and stay off discussion forums like these. My heart is in pain because our relationship is dead. It's been 1 week of "No Contact" and I want to call him badly to talk about my feelings. He's always been my confidant and I don't know who else to turn to when I'm having a really rough day. He wants me to keep communication open but I told him to let me heal. I don't even know if it's working because he's always on my mind and even when I'm busy he's still there..
bestrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Hey Chelle, I am sorry you are hurting and I understand how you feel. The hardest part about NC is that your mind/ heart has to get used the feeling that your ex is no longer there. It is a painful process and I can't tell you how long it will take since we all move on at our own pace. However, I can guarantee that things will get better, you will gain control and get stronger and of cause, be happy again. Do you like going to the gym?
D-Lish Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 2 Weeks is such a short time after being together for almost 6 years. Resist the urge to turn to your ex to confide in- because all that will turn into is you turning to him for support over your own break up. When my exH and I broke up, we continued to lean on each other for support through our own break up, and that was unhealthy for both of us. Not only did it prolong our healing process, but it simply kept us both stuck. Right now, your greatest asset should be your friends and family- those people should be key in helping through the initial stages.
thatsonlyme Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 it will pass chelle, just stay strong! like d-lish said, turn to your friends and family, keep yourself busy... that and the right mindset will get you out of your slum in no time! in my case, it took me roughly 2 months to start feeling alive again. around that time I was again capable of reading, watching movies and doing ordinary things that most people take for granted. we broke up on august 20th and today I'm a new man! I'm happy with my life for the most part, even though I'm still not seeing anybody. here and there I get occasional flashback and I fondly remember some things but those feelings are easily brushed away and don't interfere with my life. i wish i had more time to spend on these boards and try to help people with advice but I'm just to busy. today I just decided to stop by and I'm glad to see that some regulars are still out there helping out those in need.
Fern Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 When my 6 year relationship ended I felt AWFUL for the first 8 weeks. Truly, unrelentingly awful. Know that how you feel right now is perfectly natural and normal. Be kind to yourself and patient with yourself. Grieve and let the pain out. It took me a full 6 months to get back to feeling more normal and positive again - but after the first 8 weeks it stopped feeling UNBEARABLE. You will start feeling gradually better in a month or two and from there you will find it slightly easier every day. Try to stay positive and keep yourself busy. A lot of it is to do with your attitude. You have to WANT to get over this - which is easier said than done. It will get better. And stay away from him. Having contact - especially at this early stage only prolongs the agony and tortures yourself. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life to get to the point I'm now at but I know that I'm a better person now for it. I'm really enjoying being single now. I won't lie and say I'm completely healed - but mainly that's because of the WAY my relationship ended. If my ex had been honest and left me when when his feelings changed - like your ex did - instead of cheating on me and replacing me with a younger model immediately, I think I'd be feeling even better by now. You're going to be fine. Better than fine. Stay strong and come on Loveshack as much as you need to over the next few months. We've all been there and we all understand how you're feeling. It's HORRIBLE for you right now, but it will get better. Talk it out with us and don't contact him. And be kind to yourself.
Graceful Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 chelle, I have to agree with all the other posters. You're going to have to ride out this pain for a while, and get the support you need to help you. After 5.5 years, the past 2 weeks probably seems like an eternity, but it is such a short period of time. You haven't even had a chance to really process the breakup yet. I was glued to a breakup support network after my breakup, and it helped me stay in NC and I felt like I was getting lots of support, too. So I hope that LS will be that type of support for you, too. The first couple of months are the most difficult, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Wish we could put you through a speed cycle to get you past this, but we can't. Hang in there. It does help to vent, and you know you can do that here. Take care. I've been with him for 5 1/2 years and I love him with all my heart. We had a good relationship but he ended it because he no longer felt the same way anymore. I never ever thought he'd break up with me. We were so strong, I don't know what happened. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm depressed. It's only been two weeks...It's really hard to get out of bed and stay off discussion forums like these. My heart is in pain because our relationship is dead. It's been 1 week of "No Contact" and I want to call him badly to talk about my feelings. He's always been my confidant and I don't know who else to turn to when I'm having a really rough day. He wants me to keep communication open but I told him to let me heal. I don't even know if it's working because he's always on my mind and even when I'm busy he's still there..
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