Lilmisus Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 If your SO told you how many people they have had sex with (before or after you sleeping with them), how many would you think was "too many?" In other words, if you find out that they have slept with ten others (or any other number), would you feel comfortable with that? Where do you draw the line in terms of being okay with you, or does it not matter to you? Would you tell them your "number" if they asked?
SmileFace Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I personally don't care about numbers. That is just me . My number is still in the single digits and hopefully will stay that way for a couple years, unless I sleep with 6 more guys , lol. I care more about a persons health and if we are compatible sexually.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 No way would I want to know or tey to find out. If I were asked I'd say that's for me to know and for you not to.
somedude81 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 IMO once somebody has around 20 partners, then it's time to start questioning.
Mad Max Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I would begin to question once it's at double digits. Once you're at that many, you either have casual sex or you go through relationship after relationship. Both are turn offs.
zengirl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Don't care about numbers, just general attitudes towards sex and relationships. I suppose if I found out my BF had slept with 100s of women, I might be surprised and would want to discuss it, but it'd be more about the whys and hows and reflection on it than the number.
Citizen Erased Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I suppose if it was much more than the number I've been with. Not saying it has to be exact, but I think we would have some pretty essential differences if they'd been with 20+ people given I've only been with 3. I don't judge people based on their number, don't get me wrong. I'm a LTR kind of person, I don't want a guy with 50 ONS's in his back pocket, and hey they may not want to be with someone like me either.
daphne Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 IMO once somebody has around 20 partners, then it's time to start questioning. Dude, Aren't you still in school? Cos to me at school age that would be super skank. I am older than you and I wouldn't want someone who has slept with that many people. But I realize I'm completely outdated.
Mad Max Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 that said I think being in NY it will be hard for me to find an attractive guy who hasn't been with more than 20 partners. There's more than you think. I've only been with 2. I have a friend that has also modeled and he's been with only 3. Then again, it's also hard to find a good looking woman that hasn't slept around.
TaurusTerp Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Dude, Aren't you still in school? Cos to me at school age that would be super skank. I am older than you and I wouldn't want someone who has slept with that many people. But I realize I'm completely outdated. If you're in your 30s or past isn't that only 1-2 people a year?
Mad Max Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I know there are some, but they're in the minority. I guess the best bets are guys who recently moved to the city. July will be six years for me.
Yamaha Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 If someone indiscriminately sleeps with people outside of a relationship that is to many for me.
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Don't care about numbers, just general attitudes towards sex and relationships. I suppose if I found out my BF had slept with 100s of women, I might be surprised and would want to discuss it, but it'd be more about the whys and hows and reflection on it than the number. This. But I'm just as concerned about too many, as too few. A guy who's in his late 20's who's only slept with 1-2 people would be a big problem for me, if I'm honest with myself.
Eddie Edirol Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Its not the number of partners, its the number of STD incidents they had to get treated. Then you know the real deal.
Mad Max Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Its not the number of partners, its the number of STD incidents they had to get treated. Then you know the real deal. You can have three partners and contract chlymidia(sp?) three times. At the same time, you can have 10 and not test positive for anything. I'd be more concerned about someone that has casual sex because that shows an individual 1)Lacks self-control, 2)Has a casual attitude regarding sex, and 3)Is ignorant to the risk of STDs.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 To me, its not just the number of people she slept with, but the length of time. Like say for example, she slept with 10 people in less then two years, thats pretty alarming. Thats also a lesson I learned from my last relationship. She brought up the subject first and asked how many I slept with, 1 before her, I am now at 3 women. And I'm 25. When I asked in return, which I learned to NOT do, she told me. Its get uncomfortable, no guy wants to know how many guys his woman has been with, and I'm sure its the same vice versa. However, as time goes on, you get more comfortable with it, and it eventually leaves your minds as you realize that at that moment, she chose you, and thats all that matters. Until she leaves you for someone else.
lofi_tokyo Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) My boyfriend has slept with 9-10 people and he's 26. I'm at 3. When I found out his number I was pretty crushed. I'm over it now, but it still guts me now and then. Hahahahaha so I guess my preferred number is pretty low. If he had slept with say, 5 women, that would have been okay. (I can't explain the logic behind why one number bothers me, and the other doesn't) Edited February 7, 2011 by tokyovogue typo
waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 1, is too many it should be 0. Sex is for reproduction only.
oaks Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 1, is too many it should be 0. Sex is for reproduction only. So it's okay so long as they reproduced last time?
denise_xo Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 If your SO told you how many people they have had sex with (before or after you sleeping with them), how many would you think was "too many?" In other words, if you find out that they have slept with ten others (or any other number), would you feel comfortable with that? Where do you draw the line in terms of being okay with you, or does it not matter to you? Would you tell them your "number" if they asked? I'd definitely tell if asked. I'd be concerned if my SO wouldn't share that information with me. I agree, though, with others who say that the number is not what's important, it's how he reflects on past sexual/relationship experiences.
Titania22 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I don't really care about the number of sexual partners someone has. My problem with this question is that at my age, with 2 very long term relationships and vast periods of celibacy my number is still just over 10. Now being that people here have stated that casual sex is bad, and they prefer people to be having ltr's, that says to me that you would prefer people who tended to jump into a new relationship not long after coming out of one, or that you value long stretches of celibacy. Given the number of threads on here lately about men becoming addicted to masturbating to porn, I don't necessarily think long stretches of celibacy are a good idea for some people. But I also don't think jumping into a new relationship straight of another one is a good idea either. So in my world, perhaps a little casual sex, is preferrable. That being said numbers tend to rise very quickly when casual sex is added to the mix. Also is a person supposed to keep a log of their sexual partners, lest they forget the true number. When I was married, I didn't really concieve that I ever would be single again, nor that I would have any new sexual partners. After a few years, I started to forget guys I had known in the past. Remembering such information didn't seem necessary or conducive to giving my attention fully to my husband. As such, I have an idea what my number is, is merely an educated guess, on the number before marriage with a + or - 2 to account for error, + the number since. I think any reasonable person would be able to understand why I didn't keep a crystal clear memory of past lover when I was in a very long term committed marriage.
oaks Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Would you tell them your "number" if they asked? I used to think this was important when I was a teenager, or in my early 20s. Now that I'm in my late 30s I know that it's more instructive to find out what relationships people have had and whether any of those were long ones and what sorts of things have caused relationships to end rather than worrying about how many people they had sex with. I would happily discuss my sexual history with a potential partner, but if all they want to know was "how many" then I might ask what they hoped to learn about me from just that.
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