spiderowl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Hi, I'm on a dating site or two and I'm interested in meeting a nice guy for a long-term relationship ideally. But, initially, I just want to be free to see who I like and get to know people on a more casual level. If I find I really like someone, then I'd like it to be more committed than that once we realised we are enjoying each other's company. I feel that if I put 'casual relationship' on a dating site, it's going to be misinterpreted. Serious relationship is misinterpreted! But there must be guys out there who are looking for the same thing as me, getting to know someone gradually without instant commitment. The thing is, if I do put casual relationship there, then I have to ask myself what kind of guys are seeking casual relationships too. Mostly they seem to be looking for NSA fun. That's a bit different to what I mean by casual. If a woman put casual relationship as what she was looking for, how would guys really interpret this? Am I being paranoid by assuming the worst?
D-Lish Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Just clarify what you are looking for in your profile. I had "looking to date, but nothing serious"- then I clarified that if something came along, I'd be open to it. Regardless of what you put, you're going to get mail from people you don't want to hear from- that's unavoidable.
Nexus One Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Would it be a possibility for you to put in your profile that you're looking for an LTR, but the way you are going at it is by multi-dating until you find the right one? So effectively elaborating on the "looking for a serious relationship" option that you chose.
Macaw Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 There are a lot of variants you could use to give away the impression you are seeking to make. "I'm looking for a serious relationship, but I'm not in a hurry - life is great and I don't mind waiting for the right person" or anything along those lines would do the trick. I don't think most guys looking for long term commitment would approach a girl who said "looking for a casual relationship" in her profile - I know I wouldn't . State your long-term goals instead of the short-term ones, the latter can be sorted out as you go, the former are usually deal-breakers for most people.
Author spiderowl Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Thanks, this is interesting. I'll certainly be thinking about how I phrase it now.
D-Lish Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Thanks, this is interesting. I'll certainly be thinking about how I phrase it now. Any guy that's interested in more than a roll in the hay will actually read the body of your profile- that's the bottom line. The whole "what are you looking for" is so cut and dry- and I spoke to many people that complained about the lack of options regarding what you are looking for. I agree with you in that I never wanted to say "looking for a LTR"- because that just seemed too desperate. But, the next best option was "looking to date, but nothing serious"... I didn't want to look desperate, but I didn't want to give the impression I was looking to whore around either! I clarified in the body of my profile that I was looking to date and if I meant someone, great!! If I didn't meet someone, that was okay too.
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