denise_xo Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 With all these games being played and talk of chasing and being chased and all that other crap is there anybody out there that still believes in meeting somebody you like and growing a relationship from there? Does anybody believing getting to know each other and treating each other well once you do? This is just how people around me behave normally. I don't understand the whole 'game playing' discourse on LS because IME it doesn't correspond to reality.
Stung Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Meh yeah you got slightly trolled in the last paragraph. But theres no denying that women never get intrested in a man first. Therefore this statement isn't true. "Some women are only interested in you when you're not interested in them, and the reverse is also true." Women don't work that way... They don't get intrested in men without the man being intrested first and working to get her intrested. Patently untrue. If you knew actual girls and women in the real world, you'd know this for yourself. Maybe you should stop trying to explain 'female nature' to the world until you actually spend time with some. As for the OP, yes. Of course.
Stung Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 This is just how people around me behave normally. I don't understand the whole 'game playing' discourse on LS because IME it doesn't correspond to reality. Agreed. I have seen it, of course, and had my own experiences with it particularly when younger, but vast amounts of game playing and drama are NOT the normal relationship dynamic, they're dysfunctional coping mechanisms. I see plenty of normal, healthy, long-term relationships around me and grew up with them being modeled for me as well.
Ay Diesel T Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) Meh yeah you got slightly trolled in the last paragraph. But theres no denying that women never get intrested in a man first. Therefore this statement isn't true. "Some women are only interested in you when you're not interested in them, and the reverse is also true." Women don't work that way... They don't get intrested in men without the man being intrested first and working to get her intrested. This isn't completely true. Some women have a tendency of placing themselves around a man of their interest when he's not showing her interest. Example: I work in a stock room. There's a woman at my job who I guess has a crush on me (though I guess not just me, she's overly flirty with all the decent looking guys - meh maybe there is no crush lol). So when she comes back there to get her fill of attention from the other men, I just keep to myself and work. I won't look her way, I won't speak to her, etc..because I know what she's back there for and I'm not going to feed her ego. Seeing this, she'll place herself in a position where we HAVE to exchange words and eye contact ie. standing in my way while texting when I need to get somewhere, saying bye to me when she leaves, etc.. Some women will try to capture the attention of a man they're interested in, even if said man isn't acknowledging their presence or feigning lack of awareness of her presence. Another example is an attractive woman in an area full of men. If she notices one man isn't checking her out like the rest, she'll place herself around said man, to see if she can capture his attention. She'll be around him, try to make eye contact, cross paths even though there were other paths to take to her destination. It's all a big dumb game. Edited February 7, 2011 by Ay Diesel T
LittleTiger Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 With all these games being played and talk of chasing and being chased and all that other crap is there anybody out there that still believes in meeting somebody you like and growing a relationship from there? Does anybody believing getting to know each other and treating each other well once you do? Yes, I absolutely believe in healthy relationships - and there are plenty around (although perhaps not many on LS). I have little understanding of the games being played these days. Life just shouldn't be that difficult.
waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Patently untrue. If you knew actual girls and women in the real world, you'd know this for yourself. Maybe you should stop trying to explain 'female nature' to the world until you actually spend time with some. As for the OP, yes. Of course. Ok, how can a woman get intrested in a man without the man being intrested first? Women as I have understod it, are all about wanting to feel wanted and desired by a man not the other way around.
denise_xo Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Ok, how can a woman get intrested in a man without the man being intrested first? Women as I have understod it, are all about wanting to feel wanted and desired by a man not the other way around. Well, there's plenty of empirical evidence that this happens all the time. I'm one data point out of many others. Perhaps you need to re-examine your assumptions. The general pattern from your OPs is that they don't correspond to reality.
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Yes, I do. I'm sorry, but I have to disagree based on a recent thread you started wherein the woman HAS to earn less money than you, and YOU have to be the one to chase her, complete with talk of "upper hand" and other BS.
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Yes, Woggle. As I'm sure you already know, I LOVE my healthy relationship with my MAN who has no preconceived notions about who does this and who does that. We just make it work - for US.
waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I'm sorry, but I have to disagree based on a recent thread you started wherein the woman HAS to earn less money than you, and YOU have to be the one to chase her, complete with talk of "upper hand" and other BS. Am I really so wrong for not wanting to have the lower hand in every aspect of a relationship? Thats not healthy at all.
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Am I really so wrong for not wanting to have the lower hand in every aspect of a relationship? Thats not healthy at all. There should NOT be any upper or lower for anyone in a relationship. There will be times that one has to take a backseat to their personal wants in deference to the other, but then the other person will do the same at times. It's called compromise. If two people love each other, both will be willing to compromise from time to time. There should be love, respect, trust, and honesty. If you absolutely CANNOT have a relationship with a woman who makes more money than you, there will not be a "healthy" relationship with anyone.
Stung Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Ok, how can a woman get intrested in a man without the man being intrested first? Women as I have understod it, are all about wanting to feel wanted and desired by a man not the other way around. Have you really never heard of a girl or woman having a "schoolgirl crush" or "office crush"? Generally women do place a very high value on feeling wanted and desired by men. Men actually place a high value on this, as well, although it's not quite as talked-about. Feeling wanted and desired does not always equal being pursued like romantic prey at the onset of a relationship, although some people think it does. Pretty much every female I know has at one time or another been infatuated with some guy who didn't feel the same. They of course wished that he would want and desire them, too, but he didn't or he didn't even know they felt that way towards him and never thought about them at all. I know I was painfully in puppy love for a couple of years with a boy who friendzoned me, before I really blossomed--both physically and in terms of social intelligence--and learned how to fine-tune my radar. Well, there's plenty of empirical evidence that this happens all the time. I'm one data point out of many others. Perhaps you need to re-examine your assumptions. The general pattern from your OPs is that they don't correspond to reality. Agreed. Especially some of your weird ideas about female sexuality, OP
USMCHokie Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 ::raises hand:: Sure, I'd love to be in a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates me for who I am just as much as I'd appreciate her for who she is.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 *raises both hands* Mind games are for the immature. Only other immatures need to hang with immatures. I am straight forward about myself in the context of a relationship. Drama-free, mind**** free, game free. Don't like it, don't talk to me. Courting is one thing, playing games is another. I'm sure the boundaries on both are pretty close to overlapping in some instances.
Nexus One Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 The people who raised their hand in this thread should hook up. Problem?
january2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 With all these games being played and talk of chasing and being chased and all that other crap is there anybody out there that still believes in meeting somebody you like and growing a relationship from there? Does anybody believing getting to know each other and treating each other well once you do? \o I thought I was in one - until the post-mortem.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 The people who raised their hand in this thread should hook up. Problem? We probably live really far apart, lol:p
LittleTiger Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 The people who raised their hand in this thread should hook up. Problem? Some of us are already 'hooked'. :p
carhill Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Does anybody believing getting to know each other and treating each other well once you do? Yes. Prior, I compromised my socialization and parameters of the healthy friendships I've had to be in a romantic relationship and/or married. Lesson learned and accepted Now, if I don't have the same positive feelings about a romantic potential that I have with my friendships and/or how I was role-modeled, I discontinue. No prejudice, just different paths. There's a path for everyone. Here's to health
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