Bizzle Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Hi guys My girlfriend of 18 months broke up with me a few days ago, although we split on really good terms. I know I need to get over this but everytime I think I've got somewhere I just get memories and thoughts of her. I loved her and I would have done anything I truely thought that I could to stay with her for the rest of my life. I was going to pay for a Holiday trip to Rome for her this year and I could've quite happily spent the rest of my life with her. The worst thing is, is that she said she will always love me and that I was one of the nicest people I know. She just sees me more as her best friend rather than a boyfriend and we had become distanced - I hadn't done anything wrong at all her feelings had just changed and feels terrible about the whole thing. I took a gap year so that I could work to save money for Uni, and she was supposed to go next year as well, but she said that Uni would just pull us apart even more and that I will be able to find new friends and another girlfriend, but I find this hard to take as I know she is trying to reassure me and means well but I don't understand why she feels ok with me meeting other people. I've been suffering from depression for the last month, my appetite was rubbish, I couldn't sleep and even going to gym didn't make me feel good. (she wanted to go on a break at the beginning of January for a while whilst she had her exams and couldn't really keep in contact, which I completely respected) But everyday got worse and worse, last week was the end of exams. I was really looking forward to finally seeing her this weekend and go out, it was her birthday last Saturday and I took her out to London - I really thought we had a good time. But she said she had been thinking about us for the last month or so and thinks it's best if we were to just stay friends. She doesn't see me as a boyfriend anymore. I'm sat here and I feel pathetic, I've never been in love and I almost feel that it would have been better if she had cheated on me as then I would have an excuse not to love her anymore. I'm 19 so I know I'm young and a lot of you will say that I have loads of time to find someone else, but at this moment in time I have hit rock bottom - Mr Paracetamol was looking mighty friendly the other day(p.s I'm not an emo). I had work on Saturday and all I could do was sit there and it was embarassing that I actually started to cry, I felt so stupid and obv I can't let it all out as I will look like a right dick in an office - normally I keep all emotions locked up. I'm asking you this, how do I get over her? I don't want to lose friendship as she classes me as one of her best friends. But I love her and she loved me. I'm not confident so I can't see myself trying to ask any other people out, and my self esteem is rubbish ss I'm 5ft 5 and every girl loves someone who is 6ft. The only thing I have is a gym body. I would love to get back with her, but she is a very mentally strong person and once she has made up her mind that will be it. I have done the first 3 days of degrading myself to begging for a fresh start but I know it's not going to get me anywhere. Thanks for reading.
Author Bizzle Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Bump, I just want one good bit of advice
D78 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 ...My girlfriend of 18 months broke up with me a few days ago, although we split on really good terms...I know I need to get over this but everytime I think I've got somewhere I just get memories and thoughts of her... I'm sorry you're going through this. You have to realize that you need more than a few days to get over her. You were together for 18 months. You were in love with her. The pain isn't going to disappear over night. ... I hadn't done anything wrong at all her feelings had just changed and feels terrible about the whole thing... I've never been in love and I almost feel that it would have been better if she had cheated on me as then I would have an excuse not to love her anymore... Unfortunately, being cheated on does not make you instantly turn off your love. You have to deal with the same pain, because before someone cheats, they fall out of love with their SO. Your ex was decent enough to open up to you before cheating, so I think you have it better because you don't have to hate your ex. ...I find this hard to take as I know she is trying to reassure me and means well but I don't understand why she feels ok with me meeting other people... Your ex cares about you. She is okay with you meeting other people because she is no longer in love with you. I'm sorry to say it. But, that's what she said to you. It's reality. She probably wants you to meet someone great. ... I don't want to lose friendship as she classes me as one of her best friends. But I love her and she loved me. I know you want to remain friends. If she's worth your friendship, she will understand if you take some time away from her so you can heal. You're not going to get over her unless you spend a lot of time away from her. ... I'm not confident so I can't see myself trying to ask any other people out, and my self esteem is rubbish ss I'm 5ft 5 and every girl loves someone who is 6ft. The only thing I have is a gym body... I don't think you should lack confidence because you are 5ft 5. I am 5' 7" and I tower over almost all of my female friends. If I said all men only wanted women with DDs, would that be true? Nope, it's just a dumb generalization. Many guys prefer As, Bs, etc. Just like many girls prefer a guy they can look in the eyes without straining their necks. So, don't let your height hold you back. Now's the time to gain confidence. What else are you going to do? And, a gym body is not all you have. You seem very smart, and you obviously have a loving heart. You probably have a sense of humor and a nice face, too. You have as much to offer as any other guy, so don't sell yourself short! So, learn to be awesome without your ex. If you become good friends someday, good for you. I hope some more experienced folks will add to this advice! Good luck.
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