loyalguy Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 What an awesome place here for support and insight. Last March i discovered by accident my wife was "playing" on line (talking dirty to random people) and then a month or so later developed an EA with a man from Greece via an online game known as Evony which i discovered in July. I know it sounds trivial in the sense she would more than likely would never see these guys but i was devastated in that i was betrayed and lied to. She would take the computer in the bathroom with her as well as get up at odd hours. There were texts to strange phone numbers on our cell phone bill. I found on her work e-mail account a few pics of male sex parts as well as a pic of a woman in her saved files section with her sex part exposed which i suspect was her but no face and oddly she knew nothing of them...things that make you go hmmmm. I sort of suspected something was not right but thought to myself its not possible (oh i was soooo naive) as i always looked at her as a woman of common sense and integrity. I am no longer as naive as i was. For months i have gone through bouts of sadness, rage, tears and every other emotion imaginable. I am now in the process of setting up counseling as well as reading these boards. Thank you all!
tami-chan Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Welcome to LS! What do you want to accomplish with counseling?
Author loyalguy Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 My wife says i am beating her "emotionally" because i question her when she is online and talking to people in private messages within this game. So i said duhhh..maybe you had something to do with this as i was 100% trusting in her. I hope to see if i can sort out my feelings of of betrayal and mistrust. She said she would go with me which is a step in the right direction i believe. I have self esteem and possible depression issues as well and all that and alll this online bull isn't helping
Fight4Me Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Welcome to LS, although am sorry for your reasons for having to come here. Has she admitted her online cheating at all to you? She played dumb about the pics in her email, but does she in ANY way acknowledge what has happened and/or that it was wrong (regardless of what she claims is currently going on)?
tami-chan Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 My wife says i am beating her "emotionally" because i question her when she is online and talking to people in private messages within this game. So i said duhhh..maybe you had something to do with this as i was 100% trusting in her. I hope to see if i can sort out my feelings of of betrayal and mistrust. She said she would go with me which is a step in the right direction i believe. I have self esteem and possible depression issues as well and all that and alll this online bull isn't helping I see. Yes, it is a good thing for you to go to counseling as I suspect you are already entertaining the idea her "seeking solace" online might be your fault . Good luck.
Author loyalguy Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 She acknowledged she was wrong and apologized but she then justified it by saying she was "playing" with the dirty talk. With the EA she said she became sympathetic with this mans daughter who needed to get kidney removed. Funny i was in tears and i never saw one in her eyes in either situation. I then beg to ask if some man comes along with a sob story or she is "bored" is this what i should expect?
Woman In Blue Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Your wife sounds pretty pitiful, in all honesty. Getting up at all hours of the night to meet her Greek online playboy online and taking the computer into the bathroom with her? Jeez. And then the bullsh*t story about his kid needing to have a kidney removed and blah blah blah. She's pathetic. Get HER therapy - she needs it to figure out why she's acting like a pathetic, lovesick teenager.
Owl Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Well, for a vaguely similar story about an online EA and how it worked, try this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t49539/ My recommendation is to take strong action to put an end to her addiction. Don't be afraid to fight for your marriage, and don't take this as "less" of a threat than it is simply because it's "online".
Spark1111 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Welcome to LS! Read Owl's entire post. His advice is wise and true. An emotional affair can and will lead to a physical affair, given the right circumstances. But it is still an affair. The emotional resources she is investing into her internet "friends" should be invested into your marriage. Both of you have some work to do and it will be a tough road. Glad you are going to counseling. Please try to ensure your counselor has experience in infidelity, and internet addictions. Good luck to you. And please, do let anyone minimize your concerns of infidelity. It is WHAT you feel is robbing your relationship with your spouse.
Bryanp Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 If the roles were reversed I doubt that she would be so accepting as you. She is disrespecting your relationship and marriage. She does sound pitiful. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. She is showing you no respect. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Sending pictures of her private parts? How can you feel special or even feel good toward your wife? Don't accept or settle for this.
Author loyalguy Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 3 stepchildren 16 17 and 19. I gave her the ultimatum either him or me and broke contact with him. I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Thanks all!
Author loyalguy Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 We have been married 12 . Funny now i see even more of the warning signs when i look back. My radar is on 110%...
FaLALAla FREE Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 LoyalGuy--my own husband has sought out females on facebook that he either went to school with or that his many single friends know. They block me from seeing them as his friends on the advice of those same friends so I do not see his activity on his profile. He said he is "just friends and it doesn't mean anything" but I truly beleive it is an EA and if given the opportunity, he will make it physical. I keep telling him he is just a cliche', except he is the bored house wife in this scenario. We have been together 18 years, married 16 with 2 kids. I am not sure how you are getting through this, but for me, the 180 is helping a little.
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