iheartcookies Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 My boyfriend at I went out for around 5 months. It wasn't "long-term" I guess, but he has his promises and expectations of being with me for "a long time" as he promised me...Well, out of the blue 5 days ago he calls me and says, "It's not going to work out. I'm not ready for a serious relationship and all the feelings and stress that comes with it. It's not you, it's me. I need some time alone." This caught me by complete surprise, considering we were fine a week ago and he has told me that he enjoys being in a relationship instead of being single. Well, knowing from my friend's previous experience...I was calm by the end of the phone convo and told him, "I respect your wishes and I hope you find happiness in whatever you decide to do. I'm not going to hold any of this against you and I'm sure we'll be happy with wherever life plans to take us. Bye." And he hung up the phone kind of...iffy on why I had taken the breakup so well. We have the same circle of friends and we hang out at the same college organization so it is inevitable that we will see each other. I don't want to make it seem like he has completely ruined me to the point of where I cannot hang out around the organization, so I went there the next day at school, casually said hi when he said hi to me, and went on with everything like I was fine. He called me and texted me that day and the day after that like nothing had happened, and I kept my cool and didn't answer his texts and if I really had to, they were short answers that had no emotion attached. He would get impatient while I took hours to respond to texts and he would say, "Hello? Why aren't you responding?" The next day at school he messages me and says that he would prefer if we could date but not be in a relationship. He said he wanted to take things light and have some "time alone", but continue to kinda date. Basically...a nicer way of saying friends with benefits. He said he sees us getting together in the future and we have the potential of being in a relationship. He even told my niece that he wants time alone and he doesn't want me to date other guys in the meantime. I don't know what to do. I feel like if I accept his "fwb" request/casual dating and just wait until he is ready for a relationship, he's not going to ever want one. It's like getting all the emotional and physical support from a gf but not actually having to be committed. Can you please tell me your opinion on this situation? Do I have a big chance of getting him back if I just completely say "no fwbs", have no contact, and go on my way? Or should I stick out the casual dating stuff and see if it evolves because he did say that he sees us in the future and that he doesn't want me to date other guys and he is too busy to date/look for other girls. A part of me feels like everything is saying is BS and if a guy really loved you, he would do anything to be committed to you...regardless of stress of life/careers/school/et cetera. He did it once, so why can't he do it again? If this changes anything, he says he still has feelings for me and he cares about me but just doesn't want a serious relationship right now. Please let me know what you think. Is it most likely that he's lying about what he's saying? If he was into me completely, wouldn't he want a relationship with me regardless?
Eddie Edirol Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 It never works backwards hon. He wants to sleep with you and other girls while you wait for hi8m. He wants to be a pimp. Dont do it, he will never want a relationship with you again. If he really thought of you as relationship material, he wouldnt have broken it off with you. See he knows that you will fall for the future relationship angle. He cant come up to you after breaking it off and say, "look, i want to date around and find a girl to marry thats hotter than you, but lets keep banging so I can get my rocks off." Thats basically what hes saying. Would you be the FWB if he told you the whole truth like that?
depplover_1980 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 How did you enter into this relationship, did you meet and become boyfriend/girlfriend straight away, or did he have commitment issues to begin with?
Recommended Posts