bigsby2010 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Wow.. so I haven't been here in a while and I check my previous threads and they all remind me of how hard of a time I had last June when my girlfriend cornered me into breaking up with her. Long story short: Last May she went away for 6 weeks, didn't care about me, admitted when she got home that when she travels and goes away she kind of neglects her relationships and that she always has been and always will be that way and can't help it. She cried, said she would make me a priority from now on and we ended up spending most of the summer together, and all of this fall, and things were great. Fast forward to now, we haven't hung out in about a month, she's distant, not willing to take me up on any offers. I feel like she's gone, I stay home on the weekends or I'll go out to a bar for wings or go out and watch a hockey game but that's about it. I can't seem to get her off my mind or to adjust to life without her. She's told me I'm too laid back, yet sometimes I want to spend too much time with her. I don't really know what this means because I'm far from lazy. She just says I don't initiate, yet I want to spend too much time with her which would indicate I do initiate. We were never one of those couples that spent everyday together at all. We would probably spend a few hours together 2-3 times a week, and then bump into each other at other random times and just make chit chat. But she was always the type who'd rather go out to the bar with the girls than go with me. I always felt I was dragged along, or sometimes I felt I was there just to be her arm candy. When I'm not around she dances with other guys "grinding" which kills me so I don't really like her going out to bars without me too much. Then there was an issue with an ex. I dated a girl from grade 8 to grade 10 and we kept in contact after that because we were best friends and just so young that we didn't really see it as a relationship anyway. So my "current" girlfriend now didn't like us talking, so I told her I'd stop speaking to her. This was 14 months ago, and I didn't speak to her since. However, she's telling her friends now that I keep talking to her behind her back, which isn't true. One of her friends messaged me and called me a liar and said she wouldn't want to be with someone like that. I was shocked obviously, my girlfriend hadn't even brought up this issue to me in over 14 months. She even said at one point that she trusted me and that I could talk to her all I wanted yet she's still using this as an excuse for being distant. She then messaged me after her friend told me off and asked me to swear on her life that I didn't talk to her since and I did swear. I have not done anythign in this relationship for her not to trust me. Anyway, the point is we haven't hung out in a month or talked on the phone. She's short tempered with me, and when I try to show affection over text I usually get odd responses. She will say the L bomb back, but I don't know if she means it cause I initiate it. She's gone out to the bar the past 3 weeks, and she's adding guys to her Facebook at a higher than normal rate. She brags to me about going to these parties and not knowing anyone at first then meeting lots of new people. I admit some of these guys are attractive looking and I'm starting to wonder if there's someone else shes interested in. Throughout the last month I've kept texting her but how long to I have to keep at this before I see if she's going to come back around? I've talked to her about things and she says she's confused about her wants right now. Isn't a month enough time to get that figured out? We're still in a relationship on Facebook, but other than that I haven't seen anything good from her. She knows she has the upper hand on the relationship because she cares less. However she keeps telling me I'm the one who doesn't care and give her what she deserves (not sure what she deserves then because I've tried everything). Plenty of times where I sat there and massaged her feet (which I don't like doing by the way, but I do it for her) for an hour, hour and a half and she'd rub my back for 30 seconds. Plenty of times where I've done stuff for her and didn't get anything back in return. Anyway, I think there's somebody else, or she's atleast looking. I'm worried that she's just keeping me around incase she can't find somebody else. I don't want to be that guy. We live in a small area, there's not a whole whack of opportunities, but she is attracted to a lot of guys/puts herself out there a lot. She said on Friday if I'm lucky maybe we can see a movie sometime "soon". I said I'd like that and she says "Good, you better". It's like contempt or something. It's like she's doing me favors. I don't like that. Anyway my main question: Is a month enough time for her to "think"? `
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