Bheartedgirl Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 My ex and I broke up 2 and a half months ago.. And I am still very much in love with her.. And I don't no how she feels coz she ignores me.. Anyway the night before we broke up I tried to leave her.. And she Cried hysterically begging me to stay.. Which I did.. Then the next day less than 12 hours later we had a fight and I got a TEXT saying "I'm done." and that was it.. From then she ignored me I did everything wrong.. Text msgs and calling non stop.. Till eventually she said "I'm angry and hurt and pissed off. I need time and space please please stop." so I did.. And we've had very LC since then (once in the last month).. Well anyway it's her bday on tuesday an V day a week later.. So I've ordered a single pink rose to be sent to her workplace on tuesday and I ordered a dozen red roses for V day to be sent to her house.. I've also made her a 120 page scrapbook of our time together and meaningful little verses, with letters etc.. I also included a mix cd of some songs that once meant something to us.. I also made a DVD and recorded myself reading a letter to her and telling her how much she means to me.. And I also made up a story of our time together and made a PowerPoint presentation.. I plan to send this for V day.. I just wanted to know what u guys thought.. And girls would you like this if your ex did it for you? (we were together for 2 years and broke up coz of fighting)
marqueemoon4 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I dunno thats romantic and all but it probably will just make her even angrier. I would just do your best to give her the space she asked for. I'm terrible at this too.
Lemontang Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Hmmm I'm not so sure about this. You tried to break up with her and in return after you change your mind she pulls the pin in less than a day. Sounds to me she was pissed because you almost bet her to the punch bruising her ego as she'd had this on the cards herself. You've now been broken up for over 2 1/2 months and during this time you've done all the wrong things by essentially begging her and annoying her to come back....Now your pulling this stuff? Dude it reeks of desperation and comes off not a little but a lot creepy. If your goal is to push her even further away by all means go ahead with it all. If you've read other peoples stories on here with similar scenarios you'll find they all ended up in the same place, but instead of posting in the second chances forum they now post in the coping. The best message you could give her is NC. Don't even wish her a happy birthday, that if anything will send the biggest message. That 'A' your moving on & 'B' you have enough self dignity not to grovel, because no one finds a groveler attractive. Sorry to spell it out but focus on yourself before you even consider contacting her again. As they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it'll sure go the other way if you go off doing that other stuff.
Author Bheartedgirl Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Well firstly I'm a girl too.. And we've always had this full on relationship.. And the fact that was hysterically crying and begging me to stay I hvent seen her like that for over a year.. I'm just trying to show her what she actually means to me..
Author Bheartedgirl Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 But yes sorry.. I get what your saying but it took Me this time apart to realise what she is to me.. Ive realized what i needed to change and I did it..
optimisticheart Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I really do believe in love...and that showing the person you love them is always the best and most honest route to go. HOWEVER - it didn't work for me...i tried and tried and tried up until yesterday afternoon. Nothing works. when someone doesn't want it, they will only REALIZE that they do on their own. I had pictures/letters/everything to basically say WTF are you doing!! but all of it seems like it went into the "i dont give a ****, your being pathetic" part of his mind. so...don't waste your time. any your ex is probably EXPECTING that from you...so the sooner you stop doing it, the more it will make them realize how much you did care for them...and how having a person who really cares about you is important! its easy to give advice, harder to take it. im hour 19 of no contact...big whoop. good luck! stay strong!
Lemontang Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I'll say from experience even if you've changed it doesn't mean they have. You can go out get fit, take up some new hobbies, get a better job blah blah etc... these are things I did, heck I even did to some degree some of the stuff your suggesting. But the truth is they are their own person and they have to want 'you' back. She already knows you want her back so if she's not banging down your door the best thing you can do is just go NC until either she does or you've moved on yourself to the extent that you may not even want her back. I know that sounds crazy! But in time you'll wake up one day and go "why did I waste all that time pining over someone who doesn't feel the same way about me anymore?".
Author Bheartedgirl Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Yeah I no what u mean. But I also need closure for myself you know? I mean a text msg saying "I'm done" doesn't qualify.. There were no real reasons she gave me so I don't really know what's going on.. And I still believe in us.. So I want closure with a second chance.. I mean if it doesn't work out then it doesn't but I have to at least try.. Coz my heart is not done..
Lemontang Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I get it about the closure, but you shouldn't expect it. Heck most relationships never have real closure and even when you do get it it doesn't change anything. I'm still waiting on closure from one relationship where an ex cheated on me with randoms for a good 6 months out of a 3 year relationship. To this day she's never said anything to me about it and avoided me in every way possible since she discovered I'd found out. Yet I've now moved on so much that I don't even want it as I know it won't change anything. So I'm happy not to have anything to do with her...the engagement ring somehow turn't into a kick ass motorbike for me however So if your looking for closure, simple advice. Don't. The only closure your likely to find is your own and that's what you should focus on.
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