musemaj11 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I didn't mean I cannot respect a man who makes less than me, I mean I cannot respect a man who rely on me for the bread, and he totally gives up his responsibilities. he makes a woman feel like a man, and frustrate a woman because she cannot feel like a woman. My future profession would be similar with a teacher. What does that even mean? Do you also not feel like a woman because you got an education and are allowed to vote?
Disillusioned Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I think you are way too sensitive. You are too easily "emasculated', don't you think? Anyhow, you are within your rights not to do anything unacceptable to your standards. BTW, a year of pursuing is too long, if you are doing that, cut it(a lot) shorter(where is your dignity?????)-you are trying too hard and too long ! Try pursuing for 20+ years. If that isn't too long, I don't know what is. I have no issue making more than my wife and we earn about the same as each other but some women really have a hard time respecting a man who earns less than her. Overall I do find that a good deal of women these days want a man who acts like a stereotypical man and the independent ballbusting types want an alpha the most. As for chasing I find that woman do like a man who makes an effort but if she is making no effort back what is the point? I think a big problem within this whole issue is men who make less than their female partners but enjoy being able to do more with less. My buddy who was married to the MD who made 3x as much as she did, enjoys his work and his hobbies... while his ex (I've met her BTW) drudges it out in a hospital 12 hours a day and her "fun" is limited to buying fancy clothes and sitting at home, watching DVDs. Go figure.
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Here's a fun little factoid for you, wayne: for the vast majority of human history, humans lived in hunter-gatherer tribes. In these tribes, women gathered fruits, herbs, leaves, vegetables etc. that made up about 80% of the average diet for the whole tribe. The men hunted for meat, which made up about 20% of the tribe's diet. To suggest that men have been the sole 'breadwinners' of small family units since the dawn of time is grossly misleading and factually inaccurate. Fair enough, you're right. I thought mainly about the hunting/protecting aspect. But men have been the breadwinners in the last couple hundred years atleast. I'm not really saying I would want a woman to stay at home while I work. Some people here get the impression that I want to dominate, If you guys think I'll make her stay at home and cook and do everything for me and I'll smack her around if she doesn't like in a stereotypical 50's marriage you are very very wrong. Heres how I see it. As a man I have the lower-hand in most aspects of a relationship, so I need to have something which keeps me from not being completley "lower" than the woman. If you feel what I'm saying? If she makes more, she has all the "power" in the relationship. It would be so emasculating to chase a woman who earns more than me, I don't get how any man could do it. I'm already doing the chasing and she has the power there... I know you women don't understand. But honestly if you got chased/pursued by a man who did everything for you while you earned more money and was higher on the social scale than him you can't deny that you have the advantage and power over him in the relationship.
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 I have no issue making more than my wife and we earn about the same as each other but some women really have a hard time respecting a man who earns less than her. Overall I do find that a good deal of women these days want a man who acts like a stereotypical man and the independent ballbusting types want an alpha the most. As for chasing I find that woman do like a man who makes an effort but if she is making no effort back what is the point? I think most women seek the upper-hand in everything else because the man earns more... which i guess evens things out. But if she already earns more it would be soooo unbalanced if she chooses to have the upper-hand in everything else. Because yes women CAN choose to have the upper hand in all these aspects(see below) Dating stages: Making the man chase while they play hard to get, which is a total power boost for the woman. Relationship/marriage: The woman is not as affectionate or loving, this however I'm not sure if women can do anything about. I don't think it's in the female nature to be very loving or affectionate to their boyfriend/husband, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3232927&postcount=5 Sex(in long term relationships): Women have a lower sex drive, this gives them the advantage because the man desires the woman more than vice versa. The woman can withold sex and make the man work to get any... Most men want sex every day or atleast several times a week. Most women want sex like, extremley rarely. The woman knows this so she can make the man work and beg to get any sex ever because it's not very important to her, she can do without while most men can't. Very few men could stand being in a sexless relationship, most women could and want the relationship to be sexless. This gives them alot of power over the man.
Lovelybird Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Sex(in long term relationships): Women have a lower sex drive, this gives them the advantage because the man desires the woman more than vice versa. The woman can withold sex and make the man work to get any... Most men want sex every day or atleast several times a week. Most women want sex like, extremley rarely. The woman knows this so she can make the man work and beg to get any sex ever because it's not very important to her, she can do without while most men can't. Very few men could stand being in a sexless relationship, most women could and want the relationship to be sexless. This gives them alot of power over the man. This is not necessary a bad thing to be honest. Suppose if a woman doesn't hold sex when she feels deprived emotionally because her husband neglect her, the husband could go on forever without growing emotionally close to her. But by holding off sex, she is telling him that there is something wrong and he or both of them needs to work on (since men hate nagging:rolleyes:), otherwise in the man's eyes, everything is fine until the fire burns down the whole house. or the wife could not bear anymore and walk out on him, still he doesn't know what is wrong. A honest woman will hold off sex from time to time, which is a good thing, at least she won't suddenly walk out on you.
Lovelybird Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 One terrible mistake women make is that they reward men's wrong behaviours. the more a man ignores her or treat her badly, the harder she works. This is so BAD, for both of them
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 This is not necessary a bad thing to be honest. Suppose if a woman doesn't hold sex when she feels deprived emotionally because her husband neglect her, the husband could go on forever without growing emotionally close to her. But by holding off sex, she is telling him that there is something wrong and he or both of them needs to work on (since men hate nagging:rolleyes:), otherwise in the man's eyes, everything is fine until the fire burns down the whole house. or the wife could not bear anymore and walk out on him, still he doesn't know what is wrong. A honest woman will hold off sex from time to time, which is a good thing, at least she won't suddenly walk out on you. So basicly it's always the mans fault?
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 One terrible mistake women make is that they reward men's wrong behaviours. the more a man ignores her or treat her badly, the harder she works. This is so BAD, for both of them But when it's the other way around it's good right?
Lovelybird Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 But when it's the other way around it's good right? I don't mean this. If a woman is hard to get, she is this way due to a careful scientific consideration, that men like variety and many women. It is very necessary step for her to filter out those who aim at sex not a long term commitment. Based on the nature of woman, she wants loyalty and close emotional connection, which are not easy for many men
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 I don't mean this. If a woman is hard to get, she is this way due to a careful scientific consideration, that men like variety and many women. It is very necessary step for her to filter out those who aim at sex not a long term commitment. Based on the nature of woman, she wants loyalty and close emotional connection, which are not easy for many men True I can understand that... But some of you seem to take that hard to get thing so far that the man honestly don't believe the woman is intrested. And by the way, in relationships it's not always the mans fault you know. What if the woman is at fault? I guess you think it's ok then?
Lovelybird Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 True I can understand that... But some of you seem to take that hard to get thing so far that the man honestly don't believe the woman is intrested. And by the way, in relationships it's not always the mans fault you know. What if the woman is at fault? I guess you think it's ok then? I didn't mean being hard to get is to blow off date on last minute, or totally ignore man, or make them suffer and humiliated, this is purely immature. the hard-to-get I mean is that she should have her own center of life, and the man can sense she likes him because she is being receptive with him, not necessary she says yes to everything, such as sex without commitment:rolleyes:. No chasing and pining after man who isn't available. but the man isn't quite sure if she likes him more than he likes her. If a woman isn't being receptive, that is a sign you should not pursue anymore.
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 I didn't mean being hard to get is to blow off date on last minute, or totally ignore man, or make them suffer and humiliated, this is purely immature. the hard-to-get I mean is that she should have her own center of life, and the man can sense she likes him because she is being receptive with him, not necessary she says yes to everything, such as sex without commitment:rolleyes:. No chasing and pining after man who isn't available. but the man isn't quite sure if she likes him more than he likes her. If a woman isn't being receptive, that is a sign you should not pursue anymore. I don't think I would consider what you are describing as hard to get... Thats just being passive, And all women are more or less passive. And thats ok I guess... Playing hard to get is when they say no to a date even though they are free, not call back, not even pick up just too seem difficult and stuff like that. I wouldn't even ask for sex or try to have sex until like after a year. I'd rather wait aslong as I can, it would be hard but I can control myself. A year or more is good a timeline for having sex for the first time. "but the man isn't quite sure if she likes him more than he likes her" I always assume the man likes the woman more than vice versa in a relationship. So... I would be a 100% I like her alot more than she likes me. Thats biology, men are always the one loves more etc etc... And that is ok. But too make things more even because of that I won't date women who earn more, I want to pay for all dates, presents and every other things. And yes I would enjoy doing that even though it might seem like it's too her advantage, it really isn't. The more I pay for stuff the more I show how good of a man I am.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Wayne. Most women would leave you for another man if you were not willing to have sex with them. Trust me they get horny and sexually frustrated just like anyone does.
Lovelybird Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Wayne. Most women would leave you for another man if you were not willing to have sex with them. Trust me they get horny and sexually frustrated just like anyone does. It depends on what kind of worldview the woman is holding, and how much integrity she has for her beliefs. My friend believes in sex after marriage and also her bf. After one year of dating, the man romanticaly proposed to her, treats her like a gold, and they will have wedding soon!
Author waynebrady Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Wayne. Most women would leave you for another man if you were not willing to have sex with them. Trust me they get horny and sexually frustrated just like anyone does. No, most women would consider me a gentleman I'm pretty sure. The longer I wait the more the woman will see that I'm a a gentleman who respects her. Most men don't get this, and just try to have sex after a few dates. I doubt that behavior is appriciated by women.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 No, most women would consider me a gentleman I'm pretty sure. The longer I wait the more the woman will see that I'm a a gentleman who respects her. Most men don't get this, and just try to have sex after a few dates. I doubt that behavior is appriciated by women. Perhaps it's a difference in where we live. Where I live most of the women want to have sex within the first few months of a romantic relationship at the most.
sally4sara Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Until you can feel assured of yourself without a relationship, you're going to be the one to have the lower hand position. Not because its your natural station and not because women will seek to put you there. You put them above you from go whether they want to be there or not. And once someone has been put on the pedestal, they either hate it and exit quickly or they become a spoiled brat who starts to believe you are beneath them. Women are people, just like you. No better or worse. How ever it is you want to be treated is what you should ask for and expect out of the other person. I hope you can realize this one day soon because I suspect no one with such a heavy concern for power positioning and who has the upper hand is going to have a very healthy, LT relationship.
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I suspect no one with such a heavy concern for power positioning and who has the upper hand is going to have a very healthy, LT relationship.Sound familiar, WB?
lostindating Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I had a fantastic long term relationship with a guy who at first earn't little, then slowly worked his way up. I had my own business and earn't a very good salary three times his, He saved me money on my it system, building most of it from scratch, repairs etc, software and hard ware. We each had our own gifts to bring to the relationship, his were no less valuable than mine, The support understanding and love he gave me, was perfect. My attitude was the money was ours, he was sensible with it, so fantastic for us both, I could honestly say I had more respect for him that any other guy I have ever been involved with. he paid his way, to the level he could afford, so took responsibilty for himself, I believe this depends on the attitudes and values of the individual couple.
wbr4p Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 well i think not all women go after a man for his money just for herself, and just for exchange in sexual services. women are the ones who give birth and take care of the family, so its not surprising they want a secure niche for their future offspring. of course the man does not have to be a millionaire, he just has to be hardworking and responsible enough to ensure the future and well-being of his family.
Recommended Posts