AKO87 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Basically I want people's opinions on whether or not this is a good idea. The situation: There is this girl in one of my classes who I've started to like. We only have class together a couple times a week. Normally we exchange pleasantries "hi how are you" (things like that), and the last 2 or 3 classes we've held small conversations. Normally I have another class after the one we have together while she is done for the day. Also, I have zero capability at reading a girls interest level in me (this would be a lot easier if that wasn't the case). Now, that you have the background here is where what I'm planning. My professor has a scheduled no-class day one day this week. Since normally our conversations only last as long as the time it takes to go from our class together until we pass the room where my next class is (making the longest conversations we would have) I was thinking I could take the opportunity to see if she wanted to grab a quick dinner (I have another class after the one that is cancelled. About a 1.5 hour break in all) so that we could talk for longer. Also, assuming this plan were to work where should we go to dinner? There are a few fast food places around the school and a couple of sit-down places that we could probably be in and out of in time for me to get back for my class. Do I ask her what she wants or say something like "I'm going to wendy's do you want to join me?". Do I offer to pay for her meal? What do I say at the end to let her know I'd like to do this again? Comments and opinions are greatly appreciated. p.s. As you can probably tell I have limited dating experience. I've only had one girlfriend and the way we got together was nothing like this situation. So basically I have no idea what I'm doing
Kaplan Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 That sounds like a good idea to me. Just don't worry about it too much. Basically you don't even know her but just think it might be fun have dinner with her. Just think of it in those terms and act accordingly. Don't think of it as a "plan."
Author AKO87 Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 Yeah I can understand that. However, I also don't want to just be immediately put in the "friend zone" because I didn't show the proper interest by something I said/didn't say or did/didn't do. I'm also a little concerned about the venue of eating, or at least how to go about asking her. I've always heard that women like when guys make decisions, for lack of a better word. However, I don't want to put her off by suggesting something that she might not like either.
Questionis Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 To reduce the amount of doubt you are feeling you can ask her friends. AS its a school, i'm thinking you must know someone who knows her friends if its too weird for you to do it yourself. This has the dual benefit of letting her know that you like her and making sure you pick something she doesn't like.
Author AKO87 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 To reduce the amount of doubt you are feeling you can ask her friends. AS its a school, i'm thinking you must know someone who knows her friends if its too weird for you to do it yourself. This has the dual benefit of letting her know that you like her and making sure you pick something she doesn't like. I guess I should have mentioned that this is a university setting so there aren't exactly cliques that I can go around and ask. Probably 50% of the population are commuters (myself included) as well which further decreases social groups. I only met her a few weeks ago at the start of the term. I don't know of anyone she is associated with that I could go and talk to.
Questionis Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 You may need to watch her a little bit then. See what she does, where she goes. Not stalk her, just take an interestin her movements, she what she is like when talking to other people, if she eats vegetarian food , that kind of stuff maybe?
Author AKO87 Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 Thanks for the advice questionis. The problem is I literally do not see her outside of our class together. So even if she does have a friends around campus she talks to I've never seen them. I think I've got the food thing pretty much figured out after talking to a female friend of mine. A point was brought up though "is this is a date" (from her point of view). My friend knew it was but she said that was because she already knew what I was thinking. She couldn't give me any advice on how to make sure the girl knows that my intention was for it to be a little more than just a couple of friends hanging out.
Confusedalways Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 Oh, fun! Just go right in for the kill: Hey, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab some dinner. I'm thinking about going to X or Y. If she accepts, decide between X or Y. If you go to a fast food place, place your order first and then say "....and" and motion for her to go, so it's implied you're paying for her. If it's a sit down, just pick the tab up. At the end, tell her you had fun and would love to do it again. Ask for her number. Tell her you will call her. Call her.
Author AKO87 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 Oh, fun! Just go right in for the kill: Hey, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab some dinner. I'm thinking about going to X or Y. If she accepts, decide between X or Y. If you go to a fast food place, place your order first and then say "....and" and motion for her to go, so it's implied you're paying for her. If it's a sit down, just pick the tab up. At the end, tell her you had fun and would love to do it again. Ask for her number. Tell her you will call her. Call her. Great advice. I actually had considered the ordering first thing at a fast-food place. Or if we went to a sit-down place then pick up the check and say "I'll get this one and you can get it next time". Of course all of this is mute as I totally chickened out today in class. Go me.
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