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I love my GF with all my heart, but am I sexually attracted to her?


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Posted
Thank you Joe Normal for understand why I got a little defensive. But I realize now I shouldn't be taking it out on other people on this thread that are trying to help me, I did ask for their advice. Thank you to everyone. I can't beleive how much all of the different perspectives and takes are really helping me put together what I truly want. Which is to break up with her, and stay best friends. Today when I drove her home, I said "you do know you are my best friend right?" and she gave me a weird look and said, yes and you are mine. I want to talk to her for a while, and say almost exactly what Joe Normal said, i was thinking earlier about saying I think that as our relationship progressed I realized that we never, or I never got past the part that we were best friends. That I love you so much, as a friend, and my best one at that. I just think that to continue this relationship when I love you like a friend and you u conditionally love me like a BF isnt fair to you. You dont deserve that, you deserve better, and someone who can love you unconditionally like a GF. I am just asking you, or begging you, I want to you to find someone who loves all of you, and with that I will be loosing a GF, but please, don't make me loose my best friend too. You can hate me, but know I will always love you, and I know people always say we will still be friends though. But I mean it, I want you to come over, I want to stay friends. I don't want you to leave me in my life, I know how much you need, me and I just want you to know I need you too, as a friend.

 

I hope that will work, I want to talk to my best friend (boy) about it tomorrow, but I am thinking the sooner the better, I dont want to hurt her anymore.

 

That sounds good, but please don't be disappointed if she doesn't want to be friends, at least not right away. You may be able to adjust to the "best friends" thing because you are already there, but she is in a MUCH different place. So you can ask her to still be friends, but keep in mind that she might not be able to do that. Tell her you will give her space to consider just being friends, as if you don't, then you may be tempted to stay with her if she automatically refuses to continue your relationship as a platonic one.

Posted

I don't think he should tell the whole truth, but he should definitely end it with this girl. It sounds like they're better off as friends than boyfriend/girlfriend, simply because he feels no attraction to her. So, to him, she is already "a friend."

Posted
Part of maturing also involves learning that while attraction isn't all that matters, neither is personality compatibility. You need both.

 

Indeed. However, my guess is that the OP is still young and thus his 'lack of attraction' to her could be partly due to the 'must try and bang the hottest girl in class' syndrome - and once he gets through that stage, he might actually be attracted to her. Of course, I could be wrong.

 

At any rate, I certainly don't think he should continue if he isn't attracted. However, I find it funny how some of the posters who are the major supporters of 'it isn't your fault, everyone needs someone they're attracted to etc' in threads like these, are also the most judgmental in threads such as the 'I don't feel attracted to bf because he has no ambition'. Really, that is a double standard like no other; either attraction is a 'just is' thing and NOBODY should be blamed for 'not feeling attracted' for any reason whatsoever... or vice versa.

Posted
Indeed. However, my guess is that the OP is still young and thus his 'lack of attraction' to her could be partly due to the 'must try and bang the hottest girl in class' syndrome - and once he gets through that stage, he might actually be attracted to her. Of course, I could be wrong.

 

Hmm, interesting observation. OP, do your friends (or others in general) make comments about your gf's appearance?

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