Laura10 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 A while ago I was at a house warming party and I met a guy there. We didn't talk much that night but we exchanged information. We talked for months on gchat before meeting for coffee. We ended up talking for about 2 hours and it went pretty well as far as first dates go. He goes on to ask me out on a second date, but he ends up canceling 3 times due to work. I get that he has a stressful job, but it's not that busy to the point where he doesn't have any free time. So of course i'm pissed off, but we only went out once so it's not that big of a deal. I just wrote him off, clearly he's not that interested. However, he still keeps in touch, writing to me every once in a while. Recently I wrote on my status on fb that I wanted to try out this new restaurant that's opening in the city. He immediately says that he would love to go with me. But he then goes on to tell me his schedule and that he's been really busy lately. I just don't understand why he's showing interest but not following through. What's the point? PS- I'm about 95% sure he's not dating anyone
daphne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I'm not sure why you care at this point. He has canceled enough times to let you know that he's not that interested in you, whether he's dating someone else or not. He's not interested enough. When someone is interested enough, you won't have to ask yourself these questions over and over with the same person.
Author Laura10 Posted February 6, 2011 Author Posted February 6, 2011 I'm not sure why you care at this point. He has canceled enough times to let you know that he's not that interested in you, whether he's dating someone else or not. He's not interested enough. When someone is interested enough, you won't have to ask yourself these questions over and over with the same person. I know you're right. But I still kinda like him for some unknown reason The sad thing is I'm dating an awesome guy now who actually wants to spend time with me and enjoys being with me. But I still think about this guy and i have no idea why
heartshaped Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I would say that he's not interested, but I don't see why he would feel the need to show any interest if he wasn't. It's not like you invited him on a second date or asked him to go tot his restaurant with you, it was the other way around. Why don't you just ask him about his work schedule and when he would have a day off to do something? You can even tell him if he's usually tired from work or doesn't have too much time that you could meet up for something low key.
daphne Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I know you're right. But I still kinda like him for some unknown reason The sad thing is I'm dating an awesome guy now who actually wants to spend time with me and enjoys being with me. But I still think about this guy and i have no idea why If your current guy really is awesome, it's because you want what you can't have. My advise is to focus on what you do have. Most people miss it. It's the best part, really.
smudge21 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Yep, wanting what you can't have is such a powerful thing that drives so many of us to do stupid things. This guy may very well be too busy but wanting to keep talking, or he may be playing you a bit and getting you to that point where you'll do anything. Some people are like that. Remember, the one who cares less controls the relationship. Send him a message about the restaurant: "that place is amazing, too bad you couldn't come.". Or maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. Go a bit quiet for a while, wait for him to ask you out, but then cancel before he does. I know it's all a bit childish, but it's part of the game, which he very well may be playing with you.
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