homealone Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 About a year ago, I discovered that my boyfriend had been sending flirtatious messages to another woman online. When I confronted him, he assured me it was harmless and promised it would never happen again. It took some work, but we were able to repair our relationship. 5 months ago, I discovered that my boyfriend had invited 2 women to come to his house on 2 separate occasions. The invites were innocent. One was a women who often cut his hair, he asked her to come over one evening to give him a haircut. The other woman was a friend (who I had never met) who he invited to watch a hockey game. Though these women never came over and his invitations to them were completely innocent, I was deeply hurt. I felt that it was inappropriate for him to invite single women to his house where the two of them would be alone. I felt betrayed, especially since he had promised to never do this again. It took us several months to repair our relationship after this. I couldn't tell him that I loved him or be intimate with him for some time. Just last week, we were intimate again for the first time since this happened. I was so happy that we had repaired our relationship. We were talking about marriage and our future. Days after this, I discovered that he had sent some very inappropriate texts to an acquaintance of ours. He said they were just jokes. I told him that it was over between us... I couldn't trust him anymore... he was out of chances. I don't know if I am strong enough to be single after 5 years. I don't want to be apart from him, but I don't think I can forgive him again. We love each other very much, and have had a great relationship aside from these instances. He said he will do anything to get me back, and that we could even go to counselling... but I don't know if he can change after he has broken his promise twice now. I am embarrassed to tell friends and family that I have failed this relationship. Everyone is expecting us to get married and would be shocked to hear that we have broken up. Should I take him back? If not, how do I move on?
niptuckfan Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 You did not fail your relationship... He did! He made a conscience choice to breach ur trust and with that comes consequences. And if you don't hold tight to ur values and morals then there will never be the level of respect that is needed for a life long stable happy loving relationship!!! NO if ands or buts! You should look at going NC with him immediately and better yet tell him it's over and then go NC ! Stick true to your sense of right and to yourself.
Author homealone Posted February 9, 2011 Author Posted February 9, 2011 NC is not possible right now as we have a lot of logistics to sort out (e.g. mutual friend's party this weekend). He promises he will fight for us, and I want to believe him but it's hard since I feel so hurt.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 NC is not possible right now as we have a lot of logistics to sort out (e.g. mutual friend's party this weekend). He promises he will fight for us, and I want to believe him but it's hard since I feel so hurt. Then let him work for it. You put up with his antics for 5 years, now it's his turn to get down on his hands and knees.
Author homealone Posted February 10, 2011 Author Posted February 10, 2011 How can he prove to me that he will change? Or do I just have to let myself believe him?
Recommended Posts