Boom Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up for about 1 month now. She moved onto another guy fast after the break up and stays at his house a lot. For the most part I went NC after the break up. She started calling me which I never answered and when I finally got a message she said she was only calling to see how I was doing. I was said I was doing good and enjoying my life. Earlier today I got a text that read.."How many times did we have sex before you knew you had actually loved me?" I was a little shocked, but I had assumed from the beginning they were having sex so I wasn't really to hurt by it at this point. I told her that it doesn't matter at this point and I hope she is having fun and found her true love. She responded with, "I am still in love with you." I told her she should just focus on her new relationship and see where it goes and to have a good weekend. Any advice on what this means? I don't plan to talk to her about it. I do care for her very much as we were together for 3 years, but its like WTH.
smudge21 Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 You're doing the right thing and responding in the right way (although some will say you shouldn't respond at all, but I think it's only being polite). She clearly either has regrets or is doing that ol' thing of feeling bad about leaving you cos you've been NC, and wants you to make her feel okay about it. Second chances do happen, but you've got to have your eyes open and see everything clearly. If she is still thinking about you and considering trying again, then you need to make sure she's aware that she hurt you and let you down. She should be the one who works for it. Sadly that's often easier said then done, as we all want our ex's back and often find it hard to turn them away. I'd carry on going as you have been, living your life. If she continues contacting you with more messages about being in love with you, then tell her straight exactly how she made you feel when you were together, and how you felt when she ripped that all apart. Good luck.
willpower Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 I think its also important to leave enough of a door open so they can re-enter your life should they wish to do so. Going total NC can be seen as an immature mechanism if the relationship ended on relatively good terms and if she is genuinely trying to reach out to you NC could hinder her ability to contact you if she has a lot of self respect (would you continue to chase a girl who cuts you off - I certainly would not no matter how much I loved her becuase ultimately I am then a doormat and the relatinship is not balanced). Maybe communicate that if she wants to talk you are open but as she split it off its up to her to initiate this. If you go hard at NC eve if she makes lots of effort to get hold of you how will she ever break through the NC? If she's not mind gaming you then the mature option is to talk - kinda depends on how much trust and respect was in the relationship when you were together.
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