czen Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I’ve been having a bit of a dilemma about my best friend. She and I both went to the same school, but during that time we hardly knew each other. After graduation though, she and I became a lot closer as I began helping her overcome some personal issues because of a heartbreak she had over some guy. We stayed in touch by using MSN/AOL, as we didn’t go to the same school anymore. I was okay with that, I didn’t see the need for any contact in real life and apparently neither did she. I wasn’t interested in her in a romantic way because I was completely obsessed with making another girl my girlfriend at that time, so the only thing I wanted with her was to be friends. As the months progressed we kept on getting closer and closer, we told each other most of our secrets, etc. When things didn’t work out with that girl I was in love with as she didn’t want me, my best friend was there for me to help me overcome my heartbreak. During this time I also asked her to meet up go do the movies, as I desperately wanted to be someone, so I didn’t have to think about my heartbreak. We had a couple more of these “dates” and I began to forget about the girl I was in love with. During this time, I also began seeing my best friend in a different light, I began to develop feelings for her, but I wasn't really sure if this was a reaction to my heartbreak or if they were really genuine. I didn’t really want to fall for my best friend, as I was pretty sure I was in the friend zone, so I went to her and talked about how sometimes I viewed her as something more than just my best friend, but wasn’t sure yet if these feelings were real. I fully expected her to tell me that she only wanted to be best friends, but she replied that she also didn’t really know yet if she wanted a romantic relationship or not. I was really surprised as I expected a rejection, so I could just forget my feelings and act like nothing had changed. This talk was about a month ago. Things between us progressed in the same way as before we had that talk. I’ve thought about my feelings for her, but I’m still not sure about what I feel. I like being with her, I really care for her, sometimes I miss being/talking with her, I get jealous when she talks about how she thinks there’s some other guy who likes her and I think about her a lot. When I sum this up, I’m almost certain I want a relationship with her… But when I compare my feelings for my best friend to those I had for that heartbreak-girl I mentioned earlier in the post, then I’m not so sure anymore as the feelings I have now are not nearly as extreme as the feelings I had then, which leads me to think I’m not truly in love with my best friend. So, this may be a stupid question, but I’m not really an expert in the feelings&love department. But are the feelings I described earlier, enough for starting a relationship with her? I don’t want to start something with her, only to find out after a few weeks that I don’t really want her as it will be pretty hard to stay friends after that. But at the same time, I want her to be my girlfriend as soon as possible. I just don’t know that if the feelings I have now, would make me a good boyfriend, as they aren’t as extreme as the ones I felt for that other girl. Your help would really be appreciated.
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