confusedgurl20 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I find it so hard to understand men. If you could give me any insight into this it would be extremely helpful. There is this guy at work but we don't work in the same building. The place I work has facilities all over. I first started thinking he liked me when I noticed him staring at me then he looked away. So then another time I said hello and he kind of stuttered and just said good morning. Then another time I said hi and he said hey and my name with a big smile on his face. So whenever I see him he always says hey and my name. He never stops and wants to chat. So I decided to email him because he recently moved to the other facility. We use to be in the same building but I never saw him and he is a fairly new employee. He answered with about two sentences and he also wrote hey my name and an exclamation point (I thought that showed excitement). I emailed him one more time to see how his new job was going because he received a promotion and he did not respond. He still said hey even after the email. So then one time we have an instant messenger at work and I sent him a message. I asked him how his job was going and he responded that it was going good and that he is really busy because he started a new job and was still working his old job. So I left him alone after that. So three to 4 months later I decided to ask him out to lunch on the weekend because we both work at different facilities and I don't think he has time by email. He never answered my email and I don't know if he got it or not. So I gave him about 4 weeks to respond and he never did. So I instant messaged him if he got my email and he never responded. After that it was a month since I saw him again and he still said hey. So I was relieved. So my guessing If he likes me has been going on for a while now. I guess my answer could be obvious but he does things that confuse me. When we see each for the first time on a day (sometimes, not all the time) we both just stare at each other for a few seconds and then we just look away. I was thinking maybe he was shy. He seems to talk well to employees when he fixes their computers, does that mean he is not shy then?. When he came to my area I caught him a few times looking in my room. I don't know if that means anything. He knows what is in there and there is nothing in there he needs. I almost ran into him once and he didn't hurry up to get away. I don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. He is younger then me. I have tried to strike up a conversation with him but he always continues walking after he says hello.I don't know if he just doesn't want a relationship or he doesn't want to date someone from work or he just doesn't like me. I am so confused. I have read on the internet that a guy would pursue you if he was interested but is there a difference if its at work or if their shy? I have waited for him to make a move but he never has. Is the staring a good thing or a bad thing? Is it normal for a guy to say hey and your name? I am very shy myself and it took a lot of guts for me to ask him out to lunch. He might think I am aggressive but I am not. I have given plenty of time to make a move and he has not. So is it obvious to say he has no interest in me? I would love to hear your thoughts, please answer. Its driving me crazy not knowing if he likes me or not. I am too nervous to ask him and I hardly ever see him. Recently I caught him staring at me again when I was walking the opposite direction, I turned around to talk to somebody and I could see him staring my way. He still says hi and he looks me right in the eye and continues walking. He has good eye contact and he says hello I just hi. He must know that I am interested right? thanks so much for any input.
Author confusedgurl20 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Posted February 5, 2011 I have not seen him much interacting with co-workers. He says hi to just a few. He seems to be quite. He does chat with a few guys but not with any girls.
carhill Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Are any female co-workers friends? If so, solicit input regarding their perceptions, if they have contact with him. IMO, unless you're going to take proactive action, perceiving differences in how he relates to other females will assist you in determining his relative interest. I can tell you, as one datapoint, there have been times I've happened upon women who remind me, either in appearance or aura, of an old love and I might find myself staring at them, trying to reconcile that. It has nothing to do with them personally, rather something within my own psyche.
elastica Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Hi confusedgurl, Sorry but honestly I don't think he is interested. Even if he is too shy, you have given him clear signs that you like him. You have basically asked him out (and bravo for that), but he didn't even bother to respond. If you really like him, you could continue to pursue him. Some people just "give in" if somebody chases them badly.
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