Any dumpers out there secretly wanted reconciliation, but let pride get in the way?

[seaworld]

I just wanted to see if there is anybody that went through this. Preferably from a female point of view, but a guys would be fine too. What I am looking for is someone who broke up with that person because he/she wasn't happy, or didn't feel the spark anymore, and months or years later secretly hoping for a reconciliation but just can't do it due to pride. Maybe because you hurt the other person too much and scared of rejection, or you just didn't want to be known as the person who came crawling back. Any stories will be greatly appreaciated. Thanks

[fiat500]

This is an interesting question. I think very few people look back on breaking up with someone unless they've been dumped the same way. And even then, no one is really going to want to admit to a "mistake" they've made or even care about the person they've dumped by the time they realized "hmm..oops.." It's probably just a bittersweet memory for them.

[makelemonade1974]

I would like to know this too, except from a man's perspective. I think men have more of the "pride" issue. I was told by a mutual friend after the breakup : "I don't think you can ever question that man loves you SO much." We were having some problems, but if somebody loves you, why do they leave you? It's like he has made the decision and then can't change his mind because that would make him look like less of a man.

 

Don't know why I want the bast*** back anyway. Gheesh.

[eDGEpusher]

Yeah, I combed the forum a month ago (one month after my breakup) looking for that too. Wished so hard someone would tell me that, yeah, there is a chance he would come back, and the reason why it was taking so damn long is because his pride got in the way and he was hurting to know he let someone as great and loving as me go. I was willing to grasp at any straw to hold onto the thought of being together with him again.

 

Part of me knew it wasn't healthy because this desire is keeping me from letting go. Plus the logical side of me (the brain) told me that he was an ill match for me in every way anyway. I KNEW even if there was a chance to get back together with him, it would still be over.

 

Now I've gotten over the whole thing. Not the WHOLE thing, a very small tinge of "too bad" still lingers when I think about the breakup, but most of me just goes "meh" right now at the thought of my ex. All in all, if he/she left you, he/she thought you were replaceable and not unique enough to stick around for.

[Hhhh]

Yeah I think it actually happens a lot. That's why reconciliations happen a lot with bump ins a few months or years down the line.