Lina99 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I've been in a relation for over 10 years (of which 5 married). I started this relation in a time of my life when i was feeling pretty low. My husband always supported me, but on the other hand I've always had the feeling that our relation was holding me back. He loves me in an unconditional manner. I'm afraid I never exactly felt the same for him, although I do care for him a lot. I've been willing to leave him for several years but never found the courage because he's so nice. Finally last year I told him I wanted to leave, he convinced me to give it another three months, which I agreed upon. Near the end of the three months my feelings hadn't changed although I did appreciate him more but I also developed a crush on another guy (never had this before) and so one day I came home and i decided to leave the next day. I packed my clothes and left. I've been away now for about three months and told him I 'm not coming back. My crush turned out to be an illusion, but it did help me to find the courage to finally leave. Life alone is strange. It's not that i don't go out (in the contrary), but I find it very hard to deal with so many superficial relations. My husband is being so supportive of it, it makes me feel so bad and doubt if i really want to chuck this relation. what are the chances I'll find somebody that cares so much for me again? I only wish i could feel more attraction towards him. Any advice on next steps
trippi1432 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Well, for starters, the chances of finding someone who cares for you like he does are slim to none in today's dating world. You will never find anyone exactly like him...nor he like you. The illusion is thinking that you would be happier without him when you seem to care so much for him and see that he is supportive of you even though he must be hurting. My advice for next steps is to stop worrying about what you are missing out there in the dating world and being alone and start thinking about why you didn't have those feelings for your husband. Obviously, that is within you...not your husband since you are seeing how truly good he is still being to you today.
D78 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 ...My husband always supported me, but on the other hand I've always had the feeling that our relation was holding me back... Lina99, I'm not judging you or trying to call you out. If you don't answer this question, I will understand What do you mean when you say you feel like the relationship is holding you back? How? I've seen many people say that, but I don't understand. If it is a good relationship with a good person, how is it holding you back? What is it you want to do that you cannot do?
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