wbr4p Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 i read a post by sundaygirl on the ldr thread, but i just want to share this with more people. but this post is my reaction to the same incident that happened. hey sunday i know how u feel. i was there, not too long ago. i was in an ldr with some guy who was at first my friend then we became really close. we were sort of the same, we liked the same things, we enjoyed doing them. im not saying this because its how i think it is, he was the one who keeps saying we were the same. we were very close, he used to tell me he would log on and see if i was online and he'd be really happy. i thought he was really sweet and i have never been showered w/ this much attention before. he also was generous and giving. i could tell him everything. if i had problems, issues, insecurities i can tell him about it and i trust and respect his response/opinion. i looked up to him thinking he knew better than i did..that he was smarter and more mature..hes like 4 years older than me but i am way immature with my ways (i like to play video games, shopping, malling, i joke around). he was supposed to meet me and he bought his ticket 3 mos in advance. booked a really nice hotel and we got even more close. we would watch netflix together and stuff. to be honest i was always on my pc cause i didnt want him to feel lonely, he always goes home after work and we would talk until he sleeps. and i'd be there when he wakes up and we talk when hes at work on his break. i always gave him my time, like 90 percent of my time. i'd listen to him and stuff, i thought this was a good thing to do i just didnt want him to feel lonely or insecure. if i was out to do some errands, we would still communicate on the phone through msn messenger. he had nothing but my time and my love. anyway he and i were ok and one time he even told me he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. i said i felt the same too. that week he was sick, with cold and cough. i was texting him one morning and he didnt respond, i got mad. i called him and i got angry. then he said he just wanted to be friends.. at first i was thinking he was kidding, altho i got crazy that night too. i called him a lot of times and he even said he gotta go sleep cause he had work. it was like he didnt care for me , if he hurt me or not. next day he acts like nothing happened, and i was very cold and stern. he didnt take back what he said.. i mean seriously, hes spent the ticket and hotel and just back out. it was all too weird and did not make sense. he said we were fighting too much and that we wouldnt last anyway. wtf the man who i thought was my best friend....changed right out of the blue and wont even give me a reason.. i admit we had fights but we always made up, he couldve at least given me a warning before doing a finishing move. i dont think i can be friends with him, i felt so injured , like as if he stabbed me or drowned me , how can i let him be around me in my life if he did that i thought i was not getting out of it, the pain was very very unbearable. i would get up at 7am and watch horror movies. anything i could get my hands on. i'd pray that 10am would come quick so i can drink vodka, and get drunk till 4pm and pass out. that was my life for almost 2 months. i spoke to everyone. i am the sort of person people go to when they have problems, and they never hear me tell any of mine. until now. this was how i saw the ones that cared for me and the ones that didnt give a damn. i promised myself i wont cry this year of 2011. i am too gorgeous for that. i actually developed a lot of weird complications, my hair was falling out, my left leg grew numb , and from crying too much i developed a lump on my left eye that is on my eye until now but thankfully healing i think. the pain was just unbearable, it was..no words can describe it. i would never wish it upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. not even him. nobody deserved that. no matter how bad the person is. i actually never heard of nc, i was thinking if i just keep on being online he would miss me and rethink his decision. the thing was, i was willing to be his friend. anything..i was still willing to be there even if we werent a couple. i just wanted to talk to him. but he didnt talk to me like the way we used to. whenever we chat on msn it was like, engaging for a few minutes and then afterwards he would take forever to respond. like 30 minutes, 1-2 hrs. 4 hrs. it was ridiculous. we used to play a video game online together and i'd see him there, i always feel happy in my heart to see him. like as if, he was blood running in my veins and i felt so alive. he'd say..he had to go but he will be back at 7pm his time.. and i'd be there. but he wasnt. it happened twice. i finally decided to let go, i wanted to go back in time when i never met him. back when i was not happy nor sad, and definitely not in excruciating pain that was not even explained. during the first few weeks of him letting me go, he'd say he likes to watch the videos i sent him *none too sexual* , and look at my pictures. i didnt think much of it, cause it did not make sense to me- why look at them but not want to be with me it has been a while, it hasnt been 10 mos yet. i am praying that after 10 months he will be almost out of my system, if not, totally out of my system. its kind of funny, some of us actually want to chase after something that doesnt want us. animals who mate or have mates like penguins probably dont even bother with that. right now i am thinking.. i was too careless about the people i trust - i will be more vigilant i will be careful of who i will be friends with i will not spend time with a person or give a lot of my time on just anyone trust no one - everyone always has something up their sleeve u just dont know it yet- always be on guard dont love someone too much that if they leave u will die or feel like dying - that is not the way to live some people just dont deserve love and respect revenge - means living well. bumping into him one day and hes all fat and smoking w/ a 19 year old on his arm who is leeching him off his money -good luck to him i know it sounds like i am bitter, maybe, maybe not. i am just appalled at how i was treated. granted there are many ways to tell a person u cant be with them, but at least dont treat them like garbage, like trash. treat every person like a human being and maybe one day God will repay u.
niptuckfan Posted February 6, 2011 Posted February 6, 2011 Personally... I love the thought of revenge! Makes my feel way better and if it hurts the bas&ard then all the better!
Recommended Posts