Is she cheating or not? An interesting case.

[nile]

Hi everyone, this is the first post on this forum for me, and I have a problem that needs pertinent opinions. Of course, the problem is: is she cheating or not? And this is an interesting case indeed, I really don't know what to make of it.

 

I've been with this girl for about 3 months now.

DISCLAIMER: I know that she cares for me, so there's really no doubt about this, I can feel it.

She works at a small retail store with about 6 or 7 employees and I'm suspecting she has an affair with her boss (with her married boss that also has 1 child). I suspect that the affair has been going on from before we actually hooked up and it's still going on now.

 

Facts that support her cheating:

- She is able to get away with many things with her boss. For example, she can talk to him in a pretty rude manner and get away with this. Surely this is not something that a simple employee can afford to do with the boss. Moreover, even though they do phone each other quite a lot even for technical issues, she never actually spoke with him on the phone when I was in the room. For example, this week she was in hospital. When I was visiting her, her boss called. She rejected the call saying something like "I don't feel like talking to you now".

- After we hooked up, we added each other on Facebook. She immediately deleted it from her wall. All the friends that she's added before me still show up on the wall (I'm talking about the notification). When I asked her about this, she said something about privacy on Facebook, that she doesn't want her boss to see what's on her account. This is obviously a lie, because I can't see the friend adding notification on her wall either.

- This week she was in hospital. Her boss had stopped by to deliver some paper work (insurance stuff and such). He also gave her money. When I asked what the money was for, she started mumbling something (she was obviously very embarrassed). I kept pressing and she invented something that I believe it was a lie, something about some business deals they had on the side. All this time, she kept saying (let's exchange the subject, what does it matter?).

- One time before we had sex, we had a condom issues (meaning that we were out). She got a pack of condoms from her bag. Previously, she had only bought condoms once (because I asked her so cos I didn't have time or something), and even that time, she asked me what type. These condoms that she got out of the bag now were Durex extra safe, which I had already mentioned to her I don't particularly enjoy. She said she had bought them for us, of course.

 

Facts that support her not cheating:

- She actually uploaded some pictures of us on Facebook. She only has one album of pictures, and I don't believe you can customize privacy for individual pictures.

- All her friends know we're together.

- She is always available to meet up with me and we spend a lot of time together.

- She gives me a lot of affection.

- We made lots of plans for many months to come.

- I am her number one priority.

 

So, guys and gals, which is it?! Let's hear some opinions.

Edited February 5, 2011 by nile

[Bryanp]

From what you have written I would say that she is a cake eater and continues to have an affair with her boss. She enjoys having a boyfriend to do things with and show off with her girlfriends. In addition, she enjoys having a sexual affair with a boss that she can manipulate and gain extra money from. Having an affair with a married boss limits what she can do and be seen in public places. I am in sure in her mind she has the best of all possible worlds. The question to you is whether you wish to have someone as a girlfriend who will lie to you and continues to have sex with her boss and play you for a fool? If the roles were reversed do you think she would be so accepting as you have been?

[liverpool fc]

i would say there is too many question marks over her, the condom issue and facebook things seem very suspicious while the phone issue seems not right.... it would be a tough call to make because you have been together for 3 months and those positive things seem really good. i would suggest having a really good think about if you want to continue like this or move on and if you want to see how she will react try and make her jealous. best of luck

[Chi townD]

In my opinion, nothing REALLY concrete, but the condom thing has got me worried for you. Condoms aren't 100% safe; therefore, if she is cheating, she's putting your health at risk. I would go into PI mode. The more you bring it up and question it, the deeper the affair goes into hiding. Carry on wiith your normal day. If an opportunity comes up that you can see her phone, you can check the texts.

 

Or even better, ask to use her phone, if she has anything incrimating in there, she won't want to give it up to you. That's a red flag, but not an omition of guilt.