lys Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I feel guilty. Just guilty. My ex-fiance (of almost 7 years) & I broke it off in 2009. We had many many many issues - I drank waaaaaay too much towards the end, he didn't know how to make me happy & I didn't know how to tell him how to make me happy even though I was dying inside. (thus the drinking) At the beginning of our relationship he had insane jealousy issues that I/we didn't exactly address and I (as is in my nature) rebelled against - citing my freedom as a human being to have friends of the opposite sex - that I was just trying to be friendly to - not sleep with or make them want to sleep with me. It got to the point that I couldn't have guy friends because of his jealousy... or I'd pay for it in a long drawn out argument later. I felt like I had changed myself to suit him and lost so much of the fire I had inside me. Long story-- (as short as possible) we aren't together anymore. I am currently dating a guy I met in early 2010 (After a short insane period where I got engaged to a brasilian and planned to move to south america just to run away from it all and went seriously crazy because I didn't know how to live my life without him (the 7 years guy) in it. It's hard to see yourself as "just you" when it's been you+him for most of your twenties... at least to me it is. The Brasilian turned out to be not so awesome and exotic and not quite the escape I was looking for so I grabbed all the **** I could carry and ran off into the night (WITH the 7 years ex-fiance - but that is another story entirely- 3 months later he reverted back to - my parents know everything and we can't be in a relationship because they said it wasn't a good idea and broke my heart for a second time - I was 27 and he 28 just to give you some perspective) **********Anyhow - so I've been dating this guy for almost a year now - he's fantastic... has all the characteristics that I wished my other guy had and is thoughtful and kind and considerate and all he wants to do in the world is make me happy. I love him - I truly do. .... but..... not one single day goes by that I don't think about that first ex.... not one single day. I'll be in the grocery store... and it hits me - a memory - my mind flies back to a time when he and I were together. A song.... shoots me into that other reality. It's a constant barrage on my current happiness - he - this person that I have already decided is not good for my soul keeps interrupting my life with so many memories and I honestly miss those memories ... but I know it's poison to me... how do I get over that? ? ? ? Also - a moment of total honesty here - I see girls on my facebook page with engagement rings on... and I miss that familiar rock I had with the 7 years ex...and I think to myself... I wish I still had that little stone to weigh my left ring finger down....the one 7 gave me.... but I pawned it. then the boyfriend that is soo good to me and so good FOR me and so wonderful to have on my team and just a wonderful human****ingbeing calls... and I feel like a piece of **** for thinking about the things I do and feeling/missing/wanting the way I do.... because I think he deserves better than a girl who just can't seem to get over her ex (no matter how well she hides it)
timchambo Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 So which one of you guys broke up with who? He broke up with you both times? Sounds like you need to take some time away from dating for a while to get over your feelings and learn how to love yourself first. I'm far from an expert but sounds like you've landed in a couple rebounds relationships.
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