lemonlegs Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) So, I'm 19 and have been dating my boyfriend, 22, for about 8 months now. I love him a lot and we do spend a lot of time together. I have a decent amount of friends that I haven't been spending a lot of time with lately for numerous reasons: 1. I go to University so a lot of time is spent on that. They also go too. 2. I did have a pair of girls I hung out with A LOT but have since fallen out with them. 3. I do spend most of my free time with my boyfriend because I like to, and because we can hangout while I do schoolwork, whereas with my friends, I feel as though we need to be out and doing something. Anyways, my boyfriend works full time so get weekends and evenings off. Whereas I'm a student during the day, and work evenings and weekends. So I feel as though all my free time is spent with him but yet when I'm working he gets to go out and have fun with his friends, I'm kinda jealous of that in a way. For example, tonight I worked late and he went out with his friends (which I was mad about because whenever it's just us two, he insists we just have a laid back night, even if I feel like going out.) He hasn't answered my texts and it makes me so mad.... why? Because when and IF I am out with friends, no matter what, I can take 2 minutes out of my time to say hello, let him know what's up, etc. He didn't even ask me how work was. Now, am I overreacting or what's the deal here? Sometimes I feel like I'm being irrational, but at the same time, I feel like I have a legitimate reason to be pissed. Edited February 5, 2011 by lemonlegs
enchantedbird Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Sometimes when a guy you're with isn't making you happy...its time to tell him what's up and if he doesn't try to work things out, then its time to cut him loose and find someone who does make you happy.
Hules Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) From the information you have given I would say you are creating issues when there isn't one. Other than these "problems" is he otherwise a good and loving boyfriend? Have you talked to him about these "problems". We men are not mind readers so its a bit unreasonable to punish the guy when he probably doesn't even know there is an issue. Let me tell you that most guys myself included do not put the same value on texts as girls do. This is something I have talked to with several of my guy friends in the past. Personally I hate texts, loathe them because text can be misinterpreted so easily, I cant hear the tone of your voice I cant see your facial expressions. Generally when i'm out I don't answer my phone for anyone (not because i'm rude) because I always have my phone on silent (I hate ring tones) sometimes I don't even notice I have received a phone call/text message. Another question how often does he catch up with his friends I know for me I get to see my good guy friends once every couple of weeks if i'm lucky our schedules are crazy most likely once a month. It's sort of a unwritten rule when were having a guys night out that you keep texting/phonecalls to girlfriends to a minimum (once again not because we are been rude). There is nothing quite as annoying as having a guys night out and a friend is spending 95% of his time texting/talking to his girlfriend on the phone who he speaks to every other day of the week. I think you are coming off as a bit needy and it is not unhealthy to want to have some alone time when in a relationship. Its not because he hates you or doesn't love you. I don't think its unreasonable for him to go out with friends when you are working? Is he ment to stay at home and be miserable because you are working? "I do spend most of my free time with my boyfriend because I like to, and because we can hangout while I do schoolwork, whereas with my friends, I feel as though we need to be out and doing something. " "which I was mad about because whenever it's just us two, he insists we just have a laid back night, even if I feel like going out." Direct contradiction in bold. Also what is supposed to do with friend stay at home and spoon with them... generally you go out with friends, right? Sorry if my post comes off as a bit rude but this is a honest male perspective, no offence intended . Edited February 5, 2011 by Hules
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