sydneysider1978 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Hi All, I read and lived the Rules in my twenties. For some reason, i really took it all and and to be honest I think it does work on some guys.. However, I'm naturally friendly and proactive so acting aloof was is pretty much against my nature. I battled on acting on it's guidelines and to be honest, it didn't really work for me! I'm now looking to take a new approach to dating and just try to be myself more. But the advice from The Rules and in girls mags is all about waiting for boys to chase and how they'll like you more if you're hard to get. It just has me double-guessing myself the whole time. So, in real life at the moment, there is a cute guy that I'm on a sports training course with. He's friendly and slightly flirty, although that could just be his nature. We were chatting and he mentioned a sport that he really loves but hasn't any one to practice with at the moment. I told him that I've got a good mate that does it and I should get them in contact. He replied that that would be cool but he would only go if I came too. Now previous advice that i've taken in would say that I should wait for him to make the first move, don't ask him out, la la la. But, in the spirit of the new leaf I've turned, I'm thinking I should organise something. Would that be too much? There is such a fine line between acting encouraging enough that a thick-skulled man notices, and coming on too strong. I have no idea where that line is! Thoughts please, you lovely people.
Hules Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Let me tell you the whole hard to get act will backfire on any guy who has any self respect. He will say "see you later" quicker than you can give him the cold shoulder. I know personally when I notice a girl I'm interested in starts acting cold or playing hard to get I move on very quickly I take it as a sign shes not interested and figure its a waste of my time and hers to continue pursuing her. If you really like this guy and feel there is a honest connection give him the hints that you are interested, give him a chance to ask you out. Some guys as you said are thick-skulled dont pick up on these things or are simply shy . If you think its either of these and you feel comfortable there is no harm in asking him out . What the worst that could happen he could say "no" big deal theres lots of other guys out there Good luck!
phineas Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I agree with Hules. I have better things to do then chase after a woman who makes me feel like i'm voice mailing or texting to a black hole.
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 The Rules are lame. Similar advice to men is lame as well (Doc Love, etc). If you like someone, ask him out. Or at least invite him to ask you out. In this case, say you'll go along. Spend some time with him, build rapport, see where it goes. The Rules try to teach women with no self-respect to respect themselves by disrespecting men. That's lame. Have self-respect. But don't play games with anyone else to get it. YMMV.
Duckduckgoose Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I am curious... where are these "rules"? Is there a website that has them? I probably should read them to brush up on my mad skills Actually... knowing what these rules are will help me one up my competition... she might look better but I know the RULES she's gonna follow and I wants to be a rebel!
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I am curious... where are these "rules"? Is there a website that has them? I probably should read them to brush up on my mad skills Actually... knowing what these rules are will help me one up my competition... she might look better but I know the RULES she's gonna follow and I wants to be a rebel! It's a book. Go on Amazon and type in The Rules. I'm sure they have a website, too, though.
phineas Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 The Rules are lame. Similar advice to men is lame as well (Doc Love, etc). If you like someone, ask him out. Or at least invite him to ask you out. In this case, say you'll go along. Spend some time with him, build rapport, see where it goes. The Rules try to teach women with no self-respect to respect themselves by disrespecting men. That's lame. Have self-respect. But don't play games with anyone else to get it. YMMV. My experience is Doc love really only works for low quality women or flakes.
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 My experience is Doc love really only works for low quality women or flakes. That's what I would imagine, and I think The Rules attracts similar men. While we're at it, throw the Why Men Love Bitches books in there, too. I read those once and laughed all the way through. Advice like, "Only return some of his phone calls," cracks me up. Any guy who had to call me 2 or 3 times to get an answer back is an idiot, really, if he keeps at it. (This is not to say an errant text cannot get 'lost' now and again, for anyone, but that's a different matter from a conscious, constant pattern.)
mo mo Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Let me tell you the whole hard to get act will backfire on any guy who has any self respect. He will say "see you later" quicker than you can give him the cold shoulder. I know personally when I notice a girl I'm interested in starts acting cold or playing hard to get I move on very quickly I take it as a sign shes not interested and figure its a waste of my time and hers to continue pursuing her. If you really like this guy and feel there is a honest connection give him the hints that you are interested, give him a chance to ask you out. Some guys as you said are thick-skulled dont pick up on these things or are simply shy . If you think its either of these and you feel comfortable there is no harm in asking him out . What the worst that could happen he could say "no" big deal theres lots of other guys out there Good luck! Bingo. Nailed it with this post. There's nothing wrong with getting a guy to chase you a little bit, because you really shouldn't be opening up to just anyone, but if you do like him then you should open up little by little to let him know you are interested.
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